/ck/ - Food & Cooking

the old tappa tappa

Chicken spasghetti!

My cock up your ass! Hahaha, just kidding folks. Today we're making enchiladas

nigga thats dr phil

>>10444123
jewtube is evil

>you are, after all, the Annie Lennox of dragging shines behind trucks

christ John not again you need to stop drinking while you film

>>10444523
>you are after all the Sarah Trigger of how to lynch your nigger
Yeah, how does he get away with these?

>>10444123
cum!

>>10444561
kek

>>10444561

>*teleports behind you*
>nothin' perSONel
>And some cayenne pepper...

>>10444123
>I sit on you

>>10444123

I just made pork carnitas using Chef John's recipe. Sory for dark picture, it is nighttime in China.

Does anyone have the human shit recipe copypasta?

Chef John’s content would be tolerable if he didn’t have that soyboy uptick in his voice.

ScaaAAAbs!

>>10444974
>soyboy uptick

>>10444955
so they eat off the floor in china like they do in india?

>>10444955
Where do you get tortillas in China?

>>10444123
>dot come
HNNNNGG

>>10444306
Is this his worst recipe yet? Don't wanna include cauliflower sticks because he acknowledged they were terrible, but that chicken spaghetti was truly diabolical "cooking" and he should never have uploaded it.

>>10444955
Nigger it's 10 AM in china

>>10444955
>sory for dark picture, is nighttime in china
You guys don’t have indoor lighting in China? Also why do you have your plate on the floor? Aside from that looks pretty good

>>10445347

My English teacher brought them from the America.

>>10445313

No, This is on top of kitchen.

>>10445367

Not when I take pictrue.

if i was rich and didnt have to work i would just cook his recipes all day with the best meme ingredients

>>10445313
that's a specific holiday festival not an everyday thing

>>10445364
I haven't even watched it because It just sounds like a terrible idea

>>10445966
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O56qgx1iQHc
watch.

>>10445960
Oh they only eat off the floor once a year.

>>10444955
>wechat
you are a verified chinaman

>>10444955
so, how were they?

Has he been really lazy with his recipes recently?

>>10446249
yeah it's a demonstration of humility, like how catholics beat themselves bloody with whips or cral around on their knees

>>10446298
Self-Scourging and self-mutilation are actually heresy in Orthodoxy and Catholicism. Only fucking crazy prodies do that shit. Only really weird thing is washing peoples feet or transubstantiation, but the last one is more of a chief tenet so it’s gonna be weird.

>>10446241
not terrible but still seems off

>>10444581
>>10444590
haha casual racism is funny because I'm a white 12 year old.

>tfw weirdly attracted to chef John's wife

I never asked for this

>>10446623
why did I imagine her to be a lot thinner?

>>10446385
>casual

>>10446623
Yikes. Could be his sister for all we know.

>>10446241
Other than the strange shortcut of using ready made marinara sauce I don't find it a strange recipe. It has nothing to do with Italian cooking, but meh. Combining the boiling of the chicken with the simmering of the sauce seems fine to me and adding butter to tomato sauces isn't exactly unheard of in American cooking.

In the end it's just shredded chicken in an American style simmered tomato sauce with fresh basil.

>>10446623
wtf he's straight?

I just got into his videos the last month or so. Had a chef John day, today. Made his inside out Parmesan omelette for breakfast. Was wicked easy and came out just like he described, crunchy on the outside and fluffy on the inside. I put some sautéed mushrooms inside. I also made his gyro meat and tzatiki sauce, served that over chopped romain. Was extremely delicious, all the food gyro flavors.

I really don’t mind his singsong enunciation and corny jokes. It’s like you have a dad that is passionate about cooking instead of the horses, and teaches you the skills to make great food instead of dragging you off to the races before drunkenly abandoning you.

>>10444940
haha yeaaah

>>10448023
>tfw my dad was passionate about cooking
>he died when I was 10
>its almost been 20 years now

>>10448053
I’m sorry to hear that, anon. I hope your being here indicates that you carry on your fathers passion. You are, after all, the William H Macy of continuing your fathers legacy

>>10446385
>getting triggered by people calling others niggers on a japanese knitting board
Nigger

>>10445364
>worst recipe yet

No.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJtEmLCtfVQ

>giant mental breakdown last day of finals
>skip final for a pass/no pass class that was the last credit i needed to graduate
>go to sf, get beyond drunk in some random bar near the mission
>turn to the guy next to me
>hey, what's your favorite word? (i used to keep a notebook with random strangers' favorite words)
>let's go with "cacao", since we were shooting a video with it this morning
>oh, what do you do?
>i'm chef john, I make cooking videos on youtube
>didn't even recognize him at first because i didn't know what he looked like other than the youtube icon

I gave him a children's book I had in my backpack and then he left. He told me to enjoy my soup, but he didn't say ennnnnnnnnnnn-joy.

>>10446385
go back to r.eddit

>>10446385
Sometimes something is just funny without anybody crying over it

>>10446385
It isn't funny just because muh racism, it's funny because of the juxtaposition of corny dad joke with extremely vulgar wordplay. Like "as if this guy is saying this" ffs it's even more innocent then some of the actual racist shit on this site, and even then you could just not cry about it. People are way too fucking humorless now, and being a dense cunt isn't helping whatever "cause" you think you're fighting for.

>>10444123
braaap 'za
that's right, it's from sneed's feed and seed and is quite pungent indeed
and remember, you are the formerly chuck of your fuck and suck

>>10444123
Never trust a cook who is balding like that guy, OP. It's actually a skin condition that is transmissible from skin flakes, and they shed them into the food they cook constantly. Yucky!

>>10444581
>>10444590
>nigger XD

Neither of these """jokes""" were even related to food.

>>10445823
Why do you live in China? Are you Chinese or a Westerner?

>>10446623
John is such a dedicated chef that he even married a fridge

>>10446838
>>10449077
Don't you guys see what he is putting in his food?
He's not really holding back on carbs/fat/sugar.
Anyone would get chubby by eating that without workout.

>>10448331
You're really dumb

>>10448754
When he makes those puns in the videos they aren't related to food either

>>10444123
I learned how to do this from that guy.

>>10446623
dios mio...

>>10449448
What is this?

>>10449493
some form of stuffed pork loin roast apparently

>>10446331
Self-flaggelation was a thing centuries before Protestantism.

>>10444123
Look at what he made me buy.. I don't know how I'm going to finish all this.

>>10449882
SIR PUT THIS BAG DOWN RIGHT NOW!!!

>>10449882
Don't buy spices in bulk unless you are going to use them within a year. They will go stale and tasteless.

>>10449904
Truth is, they were sold out on smaller packaging and it was dirt cheap. I'll just find someone who can use the surplus.

>>10444123
Hello, this is Chef John from fOOOd Whises dot come with... Sweet potata pan-dumplings with bacon buttrerrr....
thats right before this recipe was a smashing successsss it was an epic failyure and i came very close to tossin everything in the bin haFWay through... but i dint i pressed on and the results were amazing
so in addition to learning a recipe, you are also getting a very valuable life lesson... so stay tUned for that but in the meantime lets go ahead and gestarted with one large sweet potato
this bad boy wenabout twelve ounces and wuhweneeddoodo is roast this which im gonna do in the microwave
after pricking it a few times wIth this knife.so it doesnt eXplode. which is probably not gonna happen, but i dO it anyway
plus its kinda fun talking about exploding potatoes
and we'll go ahead and nuke that until its vEry tender. ok we want this completely cooked through and vEry soft
and once it is we'll let that cool down just a lIttle bit, before cUtting it in half and carefully scooping out all the insides
and then once we have all that sweet potate in a bowl... minus the skin

>>10449493
Caul fat wrapped stuffed pork roast.
The stuffing recipe I got from another place.

>>10446385
I'm 40 and it's still funny.

>>10444974
>that soyboy uptick in his voice.
That is THE reason I watch is vids

>>10449652
yeh, so 1000 years ago. When do you think this photo was taken? >>10445313

>>10444974
unfortunately, literally everyone in san francisco has this vocal pattern, even the chads. it's really unfortunate. I think people can tell I'm a bigot because I don't have it (yet...)

Whats his best and worst recipes?

>>10450701
I really enjoyed his chicken spaghetti. My mom is italian and she used to make it just like this growing up. I find his snack vids to be pretty variable, though. Some are all right, but a lot just seem absolutely disgusting.

>>10450701
i have this with my lunch most days
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQJQVKWAFoc
this one looks disgusting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbYbI-uGEyg

I like when he scratches things with his fork so you can hear the texture

>>10450680
Self flagellation is practiced in parts of the philippines by catholics during easter. A friend of mine had gruesome pics of people with bloody feet and backs walking on sharp rocks and whipping themselves.

what's the video where he gives the bun a ganster lean

>>10444561

>You are the Arthur Chu of gassing Jews

>You are the Francis Crick of how you flay that spic

>Remember, you are the Mike Pence of hanging fags on a fence

He really should be reported to youtube

>>10450748
#forkdontlie

>>10444974
he doesn't. It's some editing magic.

>>10446385

fuckoff soyboy

go pamper your nigger

>>10450701

his beef stroganoff is one of my favorites, I want to try making his lasagna too.

his worst one is that vid where he was sponsored by some instant mashed potatoes product placement, and its like half downvotes.

>>10446385
get lost nigger

>>10450509
You wrapped your pork roast in caul fat? I thought you'd just sear it then stick it in the oven. I thought your pic was porchetta. I figured caul fat was more like sausage clothes. Did it go ok?

>>10449077
Absolutamente asqueroso

>>10450701
I love his spätzle, they're better than what I had in actual Austria.
His worst is the deviled ham spread. I don't know if I did something wrong, but that shit was just disgusting.

>>10450759
Some Catholics even crucify themselves as a symbol of devotion

>>10450291
Good job if this isn't already a script. I can hear his voice/cadence really well.

>>10451107
blue is my favorite color.

>>10444302
KEK

>>10446283
Well he's uploaded like 10,000 videos. He probably used up all his aces years ago.

>>10444326
Hahaha

>>10451168
I like it very much but getting the caul fat is a huge pain in the ass.

>>10451087
I watched that video, it was linked earlier itt. Honestly, I get it. Everyone has their guilty boxed food pleasure. Mine is pic related. Sure, I’ve made my own stuffing, done rice and herb stuffing, but fuck me if I wouldn’t be happy shoveling down a box worth of this with gravy while watching some silly tv show. Shits good, and stupid easy. I don’t condone the video, but yeah I get it. He likes instant mashed, and he chose to do a paid promotion because he felt it was a good, maybe undervalued, product.

>>10444326
Fucking hell I'm crying here.

>>10449882
>Supreme gemalen
t. Elliot Roger

>>10444326
>>10444523
>>10444561
i don't get it someone give me a quick rundown on chef john

>>10450759
It's officially discouraged by the mainstream Philippine Catholic church. Might even be slightly heretical, I dunno

>>10453452
it's called a joke you gullible /pol/tard