/ck/ - Food & Cooking

how

I like how weirded out he is the whole time that someone is filming it.

>>10435094
There's a door in the back.

oh boy another 300 reply thread with the same 40 webms posted like last time
LOL EGGS HOW DOES HE GET OUT OF THERE LOL EGGS LOL SURLY EGG CHAD LOL EGG VIRGIN LOL HOW DOES HE FIT THEM ALL UP HIS ARSE WITHOUT BREAKING THEM LOL EGGS LOL EGGGGGGGGGGGGS LOL EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
E
G
G
S
LOL EGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i swear to god i'm gonna hurt somebody

>>10435126
feel better?

>>10435126
that's a lotta eggs mane

>>10435143

>>10435143
>green yolks

Wrong within five seconds

>>10435094
He dabs a side of the egg in the partially cooked egg. Interesting, I'll try that in my next egg sandwich

>>10435178

>>10435155
>howtobasicallyeat

>>10435180
Side of the bread I mean

>>10435189
Do Mexicans really...?

>>10435149

Why do people insist on peeling a banana from the wrong end?

>>10435094
Do you think he's aware of his online popularity?

>>10435242
Of course. He's the one that keeps posting it. Free advertising.

>>10435126
But how does he get out?

>>10435143
>starts with ham planet mashing overcooked yolks
Nope im out

>>10435094
why does it take me 5 min to make a grilled cheese, but eggman can whip up a sandwich like that in less than 1?

>>10435292
he doesnt

>>10435316
you can do it too if you have all the ingredients and shit ready

>>10435143
I feel incredibly odd about this, it's Simply Sara but there isn't a heaping load of sugar or unnecessary fats. Outside the overcooked yolks - which really isn't that much of a deal breaker, the main issue with these deviled eggs is that they'd be incredibly bland.

>>10435094
Honestly it's pretty disgusting somebody would eat an egg sandwich without any meat, what are they snakes or oviraptors?

>>10435143
Christ, if the yolks are that overcooked and green I wonder how goddamn hard and rubbery the whites are.

>>10435545
Why would you eat like this, just why

>>10435232
as a middle finger to nature
i do what i want

>>10435552
most of the stuff she cooks is legit. id fuckin love to eat at simply saras house. all that organic stuff, nice fresh herbs she buys. its funny, she talks about how she tries to eat right yet hasnt seemed to lose weight for all these years. she had some operation recently, got fluid in her lungs since shes a ham planet that cannot lay on her back for more than 5 minutes...not sure how much longer shes gonna last. I give her 2 years.

>>10435113
the virgin eggman internally rages with jealousy

>>10435513
I used to think he lost a bet, but apparently it's some kind of drinking "game."

>the other webm thread hasn't died yet so retards can't repost the same bullshit in this one yet
sad realization

>>10435126
Nah, you'll become one of us.

GIVE IN TO THE EGG LORD!

>>10435597
What made him think setting up shop next to the king was a good idea?

>>10435189
>>10435222
Brazilian.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e5gTx1fVU4

>>10435513
Horrifying. You wouldn't catch me drinking that cheap swill.

>>10435628
Those fucking alcolholics have two threads, why can't we?

>>10435577
Like most people that size I assume that her issue is that she never stops eating. It doesn't matter how healthy the food if you're eating 4000+ calories a day.

>>10435096
does

>>10435621
It's called a tequila suicide.

>>10435655
Actually, they have three at the moment

>>10435655
That's pretty damn cool.
It'd make for a good panic room or rape dungeon.

>>10435232
By what reasoning do you consider the stem the "wrong" end?

>>10435597
>>10435643
He is the Prince you fools, have some respect, someday he will be King, when his father's reign is over.

>>10435772
Imagine the chaos if it was a white guy taking a black guys sandwhich, then some jewish dude shows up and gives the black guy a sandwich.

>>10435668
nigga

>>10435284
Kek

>>10435094
How does he cook the eggs without pissing off the eggs??

>>10435853
huh?

>>10435155
Good protein my dude

>>10435094
I want to book him to play at my funeral

>>10435778

What the fuck are you talking about?

>>10435916
the last 70 years of socio-political change.

>>10435566
Successful troll is successful.

>>10435436
This bitch looks like a psycho elf from LotR.

>>10435513
>Not naming the file Pan-GalacticGargleblaster.webm

Missed opportunity, m8.

>>10435676
>rape dungeon

>>10435178
Are his grid irons upside down or is it just designed that way?

>>10435094
In a scenario where the man would need to vacate the stall, how would he do so without damaging any of his fragile merchandise?

>>10435316
It would take an inexperienced chef 5 minutes to make that sandwich and most of the time would be spent waiting for the pan to heat up, assuming they were starting from nothing.

>>10435436
What I wouldn't give for her to slice my cock off and eat it exactly like that webm

>>10436314
I bet she'd do it for a couple of thousand. Even if you're on welfare you could probably manage to save that much.

>>10435232
What? You've got an easy peel bit at the top and an inedible bit at the bottom.
Logic.

>>10435155
>burps egg up 5 hours later
imagine

>>10435436
she needs to sharpen that knife, a fuckin PB&J shouldnt have to be sawed through

>>10435094
H
O
W

D
O
E
S

H
E

E
G
G

>>10435149
do wypipo really do this

>>10435126
as bad as /v/

>>10436649

>>10436653

>>10435676
The two aren't mutually exclusive...

>>10436691
I disagree

>>10436628
That's clearly some mexican shit.

>>10435155
HOW DOES HE DRINK THE EGGS WITHOUT BREAKING THE GLASS

>>10436284
Jack was supposed to heat the copper grill pads up with the grill before trying to cook on it.

Jack, being retarded, plopped the eggs and burgs on cold.

>>10435651
That looks fucking vile

>>10435143
>fucking green eggs
disgusting

>>10436687
At least get the right font, would've made it better

>>10435436
who is that

>>10435436
Where are the rest of these

>>10435094
What is this he puts in the eggs?
Onions & peppers?

>>10436260
42!
XD

>>10436291
Does the pan heat faster for an experienced chef, genius?

>>10436729
I can't get over how fucking proud he looks every step of the way.
He really does fancy himself quite the Mestre.

>>10436778
shut the fuck up kiddo

>>10435094
That's not fair at all. I made an EGG webm thread two weeks ago and the janitor deleted it.

What the fuck man

>>10436987
Idk that looks kinda cool. If you were good at that and could get a bit of a diagonal bias on the cut, I don't see anything wrong with it.

>>10437153

>>10435741

Nigger, have you ever played Mario Kart?

>>10435436
>using a santoku to cut bread

reeeee

>>10437188
Kek

>>10435651
Why couldn't he at least cut the pizza in a less violent way? Why did he have to splatter mayonnaise everywhere?

>>10436628
>wypipo
>guy with shit coloured skin

Do darkies really think like this?

>>10436972
Do people still get autistically mad when somebody references Hitchhiker's Guide?

>>10437209
I'm sure he could have made less of a mess. But hey, he's acting for the camera. And who knows? Maybe he had a bad day and is working off some stress.

e g g
g
g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M-Rl50BN38

>>10435676
>wine cellar/panic room/rape dungeon

4chan at its finest.

>>10437227
I don't. I can't speak for others.
I do think it's a bit cringy when someone treats a reference to it like it's some amazing in-joke or, worse yet, a refence to "real" literature.
People who think having read HhGttG makes them intellectually superior to others should be whipped.
>>10436260 is towing the line, in my opinion, but it could be so much worse.
Hitchhiker's Guide is just yet another example of something be nice and likeable enough, but the fanbase being so cringy and /or toxic you catch yourself almost hating the original thing because of it.
It's the same with Rick and Morty; people almost feel an obligation to hate it so they're not associated with the fanbase. It's not THAT great a show but I don't think it's something to hate either.

>>10435094
how does he get out without breaking the eggs?

>>10437317
He doesn't leave until they're all sold.

>>10436628
>Joseph "I thought she was eighteen" Hernandez
>white

>>10437172
I was talking about the guy in the post I replied to.
You never see the face of what I believe to be a woman in the one I posted. Come on, man.

>>10437316

>people almost feel an obligation to hate it so they're not associated with the fanbase


So fucking true. A friend recommended I watch Rick and Morty back when they were still on season 2, but I only ended up watching a few episodes. I was going to rewatch it but then the whole szechuan sauce shit happened. Ricky and Morty fans are fucking cancer.

>>10435094
A million bux says that guy is Greek.

>>10435778
this is your brain on /pol/

>>10435143
I opened the webm and almost gagged. The sight of the eggs alone...

>>10435558
Well,if you fry the eggs,put cheese on them and then fry it in butter it's good.

>>10435149
I bet that's not the worst thing ever, but still pretty awful.

>>10437316
>>10437316
Why did Bill murray give that guy money?

I just made the egg man sandwich.
Honestly he should use 2 eggs.

>>10435178
This makes me sad. Just put a fucking pan on the grill...

>>10435189
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

>>10437546
his NEET loser son doesn't have any money to pay for meme sauce so he paid for him

>>10435155
>every day as a young lad i'd eat four dozen eggs

>>10437173
Is that 10W-30?

>>10437561
Bill is an okay guy.

>>10437316
>Daily reminder that some intelectual from the Rick and Reddit fanbase trade his own car for a meme sauce that would return months later.
WEW

>>10435651
>>10435189
>>10436729
>>10437559
Disgusting third world trash. They need to be exterminated.

>>10435143
>>10435172
>>10435297
>>10435564
>>10436736
>green eggs and ham

>>10435096
>>10435120
>>10435126
I literally come to these threads for this kind of shit
please make it a /general/ and only start webm threads with _the_ /ck/ webm

>>10435545
>eats half the bottom bun without getting the top bun in his mouth at all
god i hate this man

>>10435778
>implying a hard working white folk would take a negro's pigs feet and cornbread sandwich

>>10436473
i told you to stop posting this webm of a faggot larping and also the food looks like shit and you should feel like shit for liking video games. now grow and do something with your life nigge

>>10438006
>no money shot

>>10435126
Calm down, autismo.

>>10435676
>rape dungeon

>>10437894
Underrated

>>10435651

>>10435094
ALL BOW TO THE NEW LORD OF EGG!

>>10435126
Lol fuck off roastie

>>10438241
huh?

>>10435094
Are we just going to ignore the fact that the guy on the right ate 5 half eggs over these 30 seconds?

>>10438230
his workplace is disgusting. A true king would understand the importance of cleanliness

>>10435316
It's almost like the pan takes a while to heat up

>>10438274
>his true king only wears a disgusting white stained undershirt

>>10438278
>Oi, thata be 600 dollaridoos and ya knoife loicense

>>10436628
prime negro food. just ask Outkast

>>10435655
There it is!

>>10436972
god i wish that were me

>>10438230
>NEW LORD OF EGG!
more like the salt bae of eggs... nothing but fucking gimmicks and showmanship

>>10438245
What a shitty gimmick.

>>10438245
I hope he loses his mortgage and goes bankrupt because of this faggotry.

>>10438230
Look how he disdainfully throws the eggshell into the trash. the somewhat uncomfortable and terse way he responds to the customer. The surly egg king is entirely at home in his castle and it is a castle. Not five cartons of eggs stacked on a card table. This pretender uses a bun like rag to clean his cooking surface. Unlike the egg king who flips his sliced bread in one smooth action.

>>10435597

Okay how does he actually get out of his shack, there's no door in the back

>>10437415
you can still just watch the episodes by yourself. avoiding things that you like because of other people is unbased

>>10438445
He can't without breaking the eggs. He has to cook and sell them all before he can leave.

>>10435778
I'm pretty sure this would spark world war 3. nah just kidding you're a fucking retard and you're irrationally preoccupied with race

>>10435094
>ing the eggs. He has to cook and sell them all before he

>>10438307
You got a license for that shitpost?

>>10435126
I don't actually get the filename joke, but is this a new pasta?

>>10435094
Anons, help me out. After watching this webm for a couple loops, it appears as though the guy's stand doesn't have an exit on the sides or in back. Let's say he wanted to take a walking break off work or leave for the day. He must have to crawl out the front. He doesn't look very nimble, and he has to lumber over his cooking station and dozens and dozens of eggs in the process. How does he accomplish this task without doing things like bumping the a carton off the shelf, mushing his feet, hands, or other parts of his limbs into the eggs, breaking them? Does he take all the cartons off and pile them inside his stand, one by one, THEN crawl out the front? That seems unlikely, he can't physically reach all the way over to grab the furthest carton in the stand. Does he have a step-stool? Is he deceptively fit, and can actually make one quick jump over everything, like the quick brown fox over a lazy dog? That would be especially impressive since there doesn't appear to be any room to get a running start, and he would be vaulting over his hot workstation. Maybe that's part of his routine. I imagine him performing this stunt with the same jaded expression he has in the rest of the video. Jumping over everything for the thousandth time. He could have been jumping over everything for years. Maybe he jumps and uses his arms to push himself up and over everything? It could turn out disastrously, his foot might graze one carton and that could easily send the whole wall of eggs crashing down, in a single cascade. In order to protect his bottom line, there must be some way he can leave the stand without breaking all the eggs. Maybe he buys little enough he has cooked everything by the end of the day, and can exit the hut as ungracefully as necessary. With only a minute and seven seconds of content, it's difficult to infer exactly what his exiting process would be. I think this question of our time deserves a full investigative report from a credible source.

>>10438522
fuck off and die

>>10438522
you basically answered your own question bruh

>>10438508
Sort off. Over the last few weeks the anti-egg and pro-egg forces have been coming to blows in these threads. The pro-egg people think /ck/ doesn't have enough original memes and so wants to push "how does he get out" as some weird /ck/ version of "For You". The anti-egg people think it's forced bullshit and would rather the threads slowed down and focused on OC instead of being flooded with /b/ tier shitposting.

>>10435676
>>10436282
>>10438109
DESU, I know a couple of kinky bitches who would pay good money to be tied up in a place like that and "raped".

It's probably the second most common sexual fantasy.

>>10437096
He might be a kid, but he's right, you know.

Thread theme
https://youtu.be/5x5NCDYB1Lc

>>10435126

Feels like the attention seekers are getting more old than the webms themselves.

>>10438494
>Callaway

>>10438006
i always make my omelets by frying up it like a egg pancake and then sandwiching the cheese when i fold it in half
i like it

>>10435343
>>10435545
There's something so inhuman, so muppet-like about his facial expressions and the way that he moves. What is wrong with Jack? There's something very wrong with him. Is it FAS? were his parents Dude Weed LMAO?

>>10437941

>>10438006
>not showing the insides
This one of the reasons why ruskies are subhumans.

/ck/ webm threads are my favorite.

Egg guy is the best meme.

>>10435094
you fucked up the filename btw

>>10435094
Where is this? Mexico?

>>10435126

TRIEGGERED

>>10438584
I have to know, man. What's number one?

>>10438230
Sloppy, messy, dirty... No class and no style.
There's no discernible talent.

>>10437765
Looks like wd-40 to me. England was a mistake.

>>10438230
filthy animal. i can't fap to this.

Love me some eggs

>>10436473
Why are white people so cringey?

>>10438385
He really does have that bread flip down pat.
I watch the webm every time it's posted for that alone.

>>10438592
>>10438592
Based Pasi will show you how it's done.
>mfw the dog turns down the treat and Pasi picks it back up.
https://youtu.be/YNSs19HvkpE

>>10438644
I alternate between country, like Helmer, link related, and classic French. Made a quick and dirty French before bedtime today (folded because lazy). A little bit of parmesan and some lamb roast leftovers were put in it. Pic related.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9B22Ii7-eE

>>10438701
Looks more like India.

>tfw no eggs at my house

>>10435155
He's gonna make it.

t. /fit/

>>10435126
Huh?

>>10438923
Do you cook bacon on med-low so it evenly cooks?

>>10438307
>and ya knoife loicense

>>10439083
>tfw I know this feel

I'm going to get my girlfriend to bring me some after work

>>10438963
Fuggen wypipo

>>10439251
Nope on high-med on one of these bad boys

Can you assholes just make a subreddit already

>>10435094
Do you think he manages to get all the eggs in there without breaking any?

>>10438356
>Australia trying to out burger America

>>10436987
>moving mandolin
nah fuck that

>>10435143
La creatura verde

>>10438245
>40$
Fucking hell the pizza doesn't even look good.

>>10436691
well, one you want to keep people in, the other you want to keep people out

>>10439282
lol mine are on the way now too
great minds, huh?

>>10439282
>posts "tfw"
>shows no face
What

>>10437316
shut the fuck up retard

>>10439115
huH?

>>10438648
You think weed would produce something like Jack?

>>10438837
Probably cheating

>>10440087
>not feet

>>10438584
I didn't know rape in a wine cellar was a common fetish.

>>10438230
>Mopped up left overs from the previous meal with the bread for your sandwich.
Disgusting.

>>10435096
EGG

>>10436908
i just have this.

>>10435094
Am I the only one who thinks those initial taps he does with the bread on the eggs do literally nothing?

>>10436908
>>10440319

This was by far the shittiest webm thread I've seen on /ck/
I wonder how many people even know how to cook here

>>10440367
Almost none. Take a look at the cookalong threads for evidence.

>>10440374
Need to separate food and cooking into different threads
Contain the fast food jack posters on their own board

>>10440381
No I mean even the cookalong threads are really bad. Though they usually get praised by other anons who are equally shitty cooks, so maybe you will like them.

>>10439565
tfw is short for that feel when
not to be confused with mfw, meaning my face when, which is what you thought he meant.
>mfw no face

>>10438356
>You can now
You couldn't before? Did the cheese sauce and burger just repel each other like magnets?

>>10438278
OI IF YA FRUIT WOZ ACTUALLY MEAT? THAT'D BE BONKERS WOULDN'T IT? WOT IF ITS A COMPUTAH NEXT?

>>10435155
Is it even possible to eat THAT many eggs without getting salmonella poisoning?
Shit, I don't care if you live on a fucking farm and get all your eggs same day, I don't believe it

>>10440557
Has science gone too far?

>>10437785
and tulips used to be worth more than houses
guess what people are retards

pic unrelated

>>10437785
that guy for sure thought he was going to get fucked

>>10440589
>WOT IF ITS A COMPUTAH NEXT?
got you covered bro

>>10440291
not counting the lil monkey, the macaco soup does look tasty.

>>10440851
>not wanting the monkey
No Uma Delicia for you muchacho.

>>10435149
Why in a car tho?

>>10438230
>Uses the bread to clean the grill

>>10438230
How does he poo without a loo?

>>10438648
he had a stroke

>>10438230
>new king
Have you lost your fucking dopey dog shit mind? This street shitter has nothing on SKoEF. I mean a quick count alone reveals he has maybe 2 dozen eggs on display for customers to chose from. He's also got what appears to be 1/100 of his immediate family there helping him with prep: a real master of the yolks only needs his virgin son by his side to operate. Also I don't like his gaudy black buttoned up shirt. I came to your stand for a fucking egg sandwich not some sit down goat curry. It's like they say: the wife beater is a window into a man's soul.

>>10438356
>culinary einstein

>>10438470
/r/ the pasta

>>10435094
I bet she fucks like a fighter jet

>>10437785
>cue classic trading sardine story

>>10440167
Nah, that's just what you tell yourself when you spam your degeneracy in random threads.

>>10441331
made my day
10/10

>>10438230
memes aside this is actually much less pleasant to watch and the food looks less well made

>>10437765
>is that lubricant?
>>10438892
>no, looks like lubricant to me.

american humor, everyone

>>10438199
so this is the power of cultural apporpriation

>>10436987
You should never cut toward yourself like that. Accident waiting to happen

>>10439630
Smoking anything while pregnant is a recipe for retards.

>>10441697
Still though.. this isn't ordinary.

>>10435094
I just noticed that he takes one second to close the bag of bread after he puts the spatula on the pan.

>>10441688
Also her index finger and thumb are pointed out. So it's really easy for her to accidently cut her fingers when cutting so fast.

>>10438245
Little Caesar's pizza looks better than that. He probably just did that because he needs a gimmick to get people to buy his shitty pizza.

>>10440980
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twnIEJdzzws

>>10438199
why not just get the fuckin poutine

>>10441787
because you're not from Quebec and admitting Quebec has a good food would hurt your brittle hongcouver pride too much

>>10438592
Did he throw up blood?

>>10441382
I got you.

>>10441863
>the yolk didn't drop out
a massive fail if you ask me, this man doesn't respect the art of the egg at all.

>>10441922
All that spinning and juggling clearly scrambled the egg

>>10437173
is this joe rogan?

>>10435180
I made this for breakfast yesterday for the same reason

Shit was pretty good fampai

>>10441927
>implying you can scramble on a giant flat surface
you're reaching now

>>10436708
Who is jack?

>>10441968
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCf-k6-nJ6NzStEFdpBl03gQ

>>10441968
>>10441973
The video in question
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdE8yh0d1_0

>>10441982
so basically, they're the same as normal strawberries in every way except the price. sounds good to me

>>10441982
Aren't these called pineberries?

>>10440352
MORE

>>10441854
at first i didn't see the guy's face and thought it was ghost hands or omurice helper or something

>>10435096
Can she slap??

>>10441812
This webbum is particularly sneaky well done anon

>>10440640
>the way the onion falls off
god i hate this man

>>10441835
>anon delivers

Holy shit what year is it?

>>10442049
tertiary boards like /ck/ are years behind regular 4chan in terms of quality decline.

>>10435741
>>10436403
Not only is it much easier to peel it this way, you even get a handle.

Not really sure about the inedible bit, the entire thing inside is edible

>>10442137
looks like a building material

>>10442145
what kind of delicious house do you live in

Jackposting outside of a Jack thread should be bannable

>>10442149
I am hungry as fuck rn
Would I be crazy if I made this?
It looks kind of tasty.
I haven't ate in 20 hours.

>>10438278
Did he wipe his hand on his pants?

>>10441835
this never gets old

>>10442254
this is stoner/mexishit food

>>10442142

>>10442152
This is an abomination

>>10438356
>the sauce was designed to go on fries

>>10440291
Im glad I'm not the only one who noticed that. I thought it was a cloth at first, wiping down his grills. nope its the bread

>>10442142
>"diced"

U HAVIN A GIGGLE M8

>>10442152
Fucking disgusting
>put this abortion on a bagel
Fucking fuck!

>>10442116
>those hands
kek

how do these always look so shit

>>10442152
Fuck that yellow rubber shit no way

>>10435094
But how does he get outta there without breaking all them eggs ?

>>10442126
Source can be found by googling Pures Leben Pizza

>>10438385
He has no time for lowly egg shells, a king knows his priorities! And customers need to know who's in charge. He's a strong ruler!


>>10440291
>>10441176
>>10441213
Extra flavor!

>>10441331
>immediate family
Those are his servants, he's a king after all.

>>10442279
Napkin.

>>10442122
Sauce, pls.

>>10436282
>>10437310
>>10438109
go back

>>10439611
h u h !

>>10442396
It's prison food. His shirt even says CONbody

>>10443629
tomato tomato

>>10442127
I'd pay good money for that bread.

>>10442152
do jews really...