/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10420478
I assume the goop in the middle is fig jam? Is the purple log some cranberry coated cheese? It looks very american, but I would eat the shit out of that and give the dog some unless it makes him sick

>>10420478
Yes pls

Fuck im hungry

>>10420478
heres another that looked good

>>10420478
That's pathetic. First off nuts????
WTF!
Not enough crackers , one slice of bread, and the meats look like some sliced up cheap shit.
That cheese looks like baby bell or whatever that shit is called.
Sell that to brooklyn hipsters for about $200 a plastic tray, good times. They're dumb enough to not know any better.

>>10420478
more of a cheese platter

Brettljause

Im gonna dump

>>10420516
Looks like a ghost or something on the left.

>>10420511
You have to say it three times, dude.

>>10420504
Very nice.

>>10420555
Nice trips my man

>>10420478
americans
jesus christ

this one is simple

at least put on enough crackers you fuckers
I don't want to sit there and eat nothing but a piece of bland meat

>>10420478
from what, the aldi?

>>10420629
Totally agree

>>10420577
fuck damn could ignorant ass cunts like yourself just fuck off back to mlp? your posts are boring as fuck.

>>10420502
From my experience hipster know a lot more about food and quality than fly-over faggots like u

spicy

>>10420759
I don't have much experience with fly-overs but the hipsters I've met have only a very surface level knowledge of food, and of everything else we've spoken about. They'll be able to namedrop a bunch of nice things in Italian and French but they haven't tasted even half and they have no idea how any of it is made.
It's fine with me if you can't make a "jambon" yourself, but if you're going to namedrop it while pretending you're some fucking food expert I expect you to at least know if it's salted or smoked. That's not a made up example, by the way. This happened.

I'm sure people who are not into food themselves fall for this bullshit all the time and I don't blame them. If you don't know the stuff yourself these hipsters do sound like they have their shit together. But they really don't.

>>10420762
That's a lot of meat for so few crackers. This is definitely a keto wet dream.

>>10420785
Im on a keto diet and I agree, they should have more AND varied crackers/breads

>>10420478
Charcuterie is the high art of the food world except instead of being hard to understand and pretentious it's just delicious.

>>10420500
I came

>>10420742
Well you know that's not gonna happen so you might as well just blow your head off.
Nobody will miss your sorry head.

>>10420535
nigger
nigger
nigger?

>>10420759
From my experience, you're a fucking faggot. Deal with it.

>>10420577
That is a French word and being a murican, it's hard to find quality local cured meats and aged cheeses. However, in most countries in Europe every little town often has it's own local delicacies, both cured meats and delicious cheeses. I like northern France because you can also get amazing little fermented fish too. I'm not sure what country your from but you painfully ignorant and should probably purchase a plastic bag and helium tank to mouth breathing, millennial scum.

you don't have to fill the fucking board up right to the edges, why must everything be so huge.

The presentation is so shit

meaty

>>10420898
That means so much from Frenchies that have had to wall off the Eiffel tower because they've let so many islamics in and can't control things anymore.

>>10420771
I came again.

>>10420478
>nothing has skin on it
AMERICANS;JPG

>>10420782
I came a 3rd time, pls stop anon

>>10420910
Good job there habib.

>>10420478
Goddamn, I love this shit. This thread is making me crave cured meats now.

>>10420759
Hipsters (like you) don't know whit, but they meet with other ignorant hipsters and play pretend.

nice! lets put this charcuterie ontoatray

>>10420906
Yeah, haven't been to France in 5 years. My brother went to a small town north of Cannes last summer and said instead of a gorgeous farmers daughter serving your food it was a stinking goat rape specialist. Depressing.

>>10420922
They have to compare fedoras too when sitting in starbucks.

>>10420911

That cured fish looks great

>>10420818
>50 cents worth of sliced chorizo on a plate
>whiped mustard
>burned brocoli
>THAT WILL BE 500$ PLUS TIP

>>10420927
Used to be the city of light, now I dunno when the tower is walled off.

>>10420930
It is. Kind of like good anchovies smeared over baguette with a triple cream to live it all up. Godamn this thread is making me hungry. Trip to the cheese shop when they open soon!

>>10420932

Dont forget that sliver of passionfruit

Looks like diaper leek on that fucking board

>>10420478
some real bread would do you good, son

why do Americans do this?

>>10420927

>>10420955
Abandon thread, /b/ and /pol/ are here

>>10420949
I prefer sardeens for that, just like on a plain pizza. Anchovies are best in a sauce, but for actual I prefer the sardeens.
King Oscar.

>>10420972
We're talking about France dingus. We have our problems here too don't get all bent out of shape cause a ticket from Buenos Aires to Paris is more that your gumball inspection fees make you a year.

Anything from the trolley, dears?

>>10420989
I think it's more like nigeria or wherever the gypysies come from.

>>10420985
Oh yeah deenz are what's up for sure. The little stinky rotten fish in northern France are just like good cured meats paired with cheese and bread is all I'm saying. For me it's deenz whole and anchos is sauces and dressing.

>>10420999
I'd leave it up to her since she knows more than I do.

>>10421000
Nice trips beotch!

>>10420999
I came, yet again. God I hope noon comes soon so the cheese shop opens, God have mercy on my stomach. The only question is pinot gregio or cabernet?

>>10421010
That's the first time I've ever gotten trips and I've been here since 08. This is the best thread ever. Thank you all for the support!

what makes prosciutto safe to eat?

>>10421013
I'd go with the cab, but then again, I am partial to reds

>>10421025
We did beat city, took a while.

“Veni, Vidi, Vici."

>>10421025
Cab it is. Gonna pick up some of these bad boys, probably a nice hard with those wonderful flavor crystals and whatever looks good creamy wise. The little cute chick that is there on Sundays just usually tells me what it good and feeds me samples. The only pain in the but is I have to drive 15 miles to get good fresh baguette. It's worth it though.

Didn't realize this thing had a name, I basically eat a poor fag version of this every night. Lots of great inspiration here, I think I'll add olives instead of the pickle next time.

>>10421068
Sounds great, my man. I'll probably wind up doing something similar for a late lunch. This thread has aroused me.

Never forget some red wine as a finishing.

>>10421082
Perfect dinner anon! I'm an amerifat and a very similar comfy dinner like this after hard day's welding. Also, chicks love that shit. It's great getting them to eat the stinky little fish and moldy cheese. That look on their face when they realize it's delish:)

>>10421090
Best thread ever brother, I can tell cause I got trips and will be paying rent late cause I've decided to eat like a king and get wasted today cause trips demand it.

>>10421109
My mom liked those little sardeens on cottage cheese with black bread.

>>10421109
Thx anon, amerilard here too. Very easy to prep, and I've been doing this for the past year without getting tired. I swap some ingredients every now and then to keep it fresh

>>10420950
I remember a previous post of this image, and all of the following replies were about the most effective way to clean up the mess.

The glass in the middle, as well as the fact that it's fucking olev oil, presents a few different ideas on a way to clean it.

>>10421127
Fuck yeah

>>10421203
Shop vac and 6 hungry stray dogs

>>10421358
What about 99 luft balloons?

>>10420504
>colby
>shitty brie
>gouda
>straight up canned hearts of palm
I hope this was a platter for a small group of friends cuz this is embarrassing.

I lied bros. Went to the cheese place and was closed due to millennial faggots failure. Came up on some smoked pork jowel, a while beef tenderloin, seranos, poblanos, Georgia sweet onions and cherries for 22 bucks. Making hearty beefy make you sweat and poop chili in the crock. Stupid fucking cheese place biggest bunch of white niggers I ever met.

>>10420478
meat is cut too thick

Hi guise what's going on in here.

>>10420922
>>10420928
drumpf!

>>10420800
That purplish cheese on the right is intriguing, what is it?

>>10422307
That's probably port-wine soaked. It looks like Derby brand?

>>10422352
Hmm, interesting, never tried that yet. Thanks anon I'll look into it

nobody in yurop would arrange cold cuts and cheese like this.

>>10422008
MU beat City 3-2?

>>10420800
grilled zucchini is one of the best foods on the planet

>>10420818
>a
>fucking
>tree stump

>>10420818
>we're out of ramekins, what should we do with the sauces?
>smear it on the table
>should I drain the olives?
>nah just chuck them on the table

>>10420478

I didn't know my cutting board could be this amazing. Thank you OP. You are not a faggot today.

>>10420478
Not anymore thanks but you could consider having some respect for your guests and actually getting some nice stuff. This stuff looks like it was made by machines for machines. Crackers look alright but I have very low expectations for that.

>>10420516
Bad products, good plating.

That's cold cuts.

>Never had one cuz no friends
>even if I had friends to share I'll like to have my own plate of food instead

This thread made me quite erect. Good job, OP.

>>10423874
Depends on the guests!

>>10420904
hnnnnnggggg

>>10420491
this is the only answer.

>>10420516
>ritz

>>10420552
Good God.

>>10420795
Is keto the new vegan?

>glorified salty rubber
No thank you

I could live just off of this and not care for anything else.

>>10424148
>Is keto the new vegan?

Its just cutting carbs to lose weight, grow up

>>10424223
>Tell everyone when they're not asking
>Brag about how healthy it is
>Based off "science"

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/2673150?redirect=true&redirect=true
It's not better than traditional "low-fat" diets, my man.

>>10424566

Well diabetes runs in our family, and its helped my bro lose weight

>>10420568
>those water crackers
hunghhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>10420578
not enough bread/crackers, but damn fine selection brodeo

>>10420854
you dont need that many capers for 15 people chees-its with rice

>>10424566
you faggits will argue about anything
the ball is blue

>>10420478
recently fucked up my bresaola, this thread reminded me i gotta clean out my curing fridge. texas humidity goes fucking haywire this time of year and the damn thing got too dry and the center rotted right the fuck out

>>10421014
this one is either very lazy or done just for a photoshoot. hard salamis are difficult to slice with the type of knives that would be part of your silverware set.

>>10421082
cut the bread a little thinner, maybe get some different kinds of salami. other than that, it looks fine for yourself, and not much would be needed to make it look professional.

>>10424898
yeah for sure

the baguette would be a bitch to cut without a serrated knife

>>10421109
>perfect dinner after hard day's work
>no more than like 400 calories on that plate

?

>>10421109
>very similar comfy dinner like this after hard day's welding
Do you only TIG weld while sitting down or something
It takes me a whole lot more to be satisfied after a full shift of hauling steel around and welding.

>>10420478

>>10421013

>>10424928
>needing a knife to cut baguette
ame-fucking-ricans

>>10421082
>deenz
mah nigga

>>10424223
>Its just cutting carbs
lol no.Fucking women I swear, fanatically following trends they refuse to learn correctly.

>>10420500
>tomatoes on the vine
Why

>>10424566
>study doesn't take TDEE into consideration

>>10425550
It signifies freshness, desu.

>>10420478

Oui, bien sur.

was this thread made by joey
why is everything so disgusting

>>10420502
not sure which one of those pieces of cheese you are mistaking for bread but honestly consider not posting on this website.

>>10425550
>>10425564

I could imagine there would be unwashed pesticides and bacteria prevalent

>>10425538
this is an outrage

>>10420784
Jambons are both salted and smoked

>>10420784
Jambon is just French for ham and only describe the meat, not how it's prepared. typically you have "jambon blanc" which is the common boiled leg and the "jampon cru" that is any sort of dried ham (so proscuitto and the like) you can smoke it, roast it, of dip it in honey if you want, it's just ham

>>10420549
This one looks really good with the paté.

A lot of these are too cramped though :( you want to be able to pick a few things without touching all the other stuff.

>>10423950
Fair enough.

>>10427224

>That little mustard packet

The french bistro I work for has been expanding their place to include a charcuterie powered wine bar
Ive been testing recipes for pates, terrines, and lots of other things
My next targhet is pate en croute. Some of my favorite chefs are Calum and Aurien Darfour