/ck/ - Food & Cooking

You're an idiot.

I don’t know why I’m risking it posting this but I have two disposable plastic knives I hide from the bobbys

>>10378862
This. I almost got caught when they were doing a routine knife sweep also got a fine for not paying my garden licence which sucks.

>>10378844
The government does it for them, if you let them do it themselves someone could hurt themselves, why won't you think of the children?

>>10378844
Scissors

>>10378851
This, you're a fucking idiot op. They obviously use kitchen shears

why is he black? Is diversity of color and all that shit in England too?

veg at most chain restaurants and pubs comes pre sliced, including, but not limited to: onions, carrots, lettuce

i dont even want to talk about supermarkets

managed to get away with using these you do get used to it though

Somebody post the webm of a team of 10 british police officers running away from 1 guy with a knife

>>10378862

get a life, bin that knife

>>10378871
I had to steal some seeds from the local Sainsbury’s, I’m not paying a licence a for fucking garden.

Cant tell what satire and whats not wtih brits

>>10378891
England has been a colony of Pakistan for a couple years now

>>10378910
Exactly. I’m paying for my TV licence, bicycle licence and garden licence and it’s just mounting up. Some times I wish I could just move.

>>10378926
Don't forget to pay your moving license first. Wouldn't want to be doing any illegal moving now would you?

>>10378844
You can still get a knife in the U.K. if you get it properly licensed and registered, you cunt. All you need to do is show the police a valid need for it, get the right kind of storage safe if you're going to store it at home, and then pass the annual storage inspection tests by the police. It's easier to get the license if you belong to a culinary club, though, and they have safes you can use for storage. Just make sure you always have your knife license and registration card on you when transporting the knife, and remember that it must be stored under a 2 lock system at all times when not in use.

>>10378844
Anti-stab knives.
Literally.

>>10378909
>citrus zester
Hello god. I'd like to report a crime against Creation. Yes, I'll hold, but it's urgent.

As an Amerifat, I honestly don't know which posts are trolling and which are true

>>10378871
>tfw you can't remember when your dry weather permit runs out
Help guys I need to buy the last Irn bru

>>10378899
Somebody didn't get the message...

>Due to safety concerns, the model 2015 home cutlery shear will no longer be authorized for licensing or registration, and is to be replaced by the model 2018 square nosed home cutlery shear starting on 1 January. Owners will have until 1 June to turn in their 2015 model to the police, after which they will be subject to fine and, or, prosecution and incarceration.

http://www.nationalcrimeagency.gov.uk/model_2018_square

>>10378901
>cue Yakety Sax

>>10379143
Too right man. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse for breaking it. Especially if you're white

>>10379149
>these officers are being paid

Do British people really do this?

>>10379065
They are all trolling

>>10379175
>>10379201
No, no we are not.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8101032.stm
Britain is a goddamned nanny state and doesn't have citizens, just subjects.

>>10379217
>Daily Mail
>Author's name not even given

If only foreigners knew what the standard of the Daily Mail's """journalism""" was lmao, IRL clickbait

>>10379256
This brit here are raw trolling and yanks are memeing

>>10379035
Those look like you could still stab the shit out of someone though, its not like the blunt tip would prevent you from hurting someone if you stabbed them hard enough.

Who here bar lock padlock combo master race.

>>10379256
imagine being this serious in this thread lmao holy shit

>>10379280
You're just mad it's all trolling and memes

>>10379256
So instead we should trust state-run media paid for by ~200USD TV licenses?

>>10379285

There's an Indian bloke making flint knives and selling them to the muzzi's down by the mosque for around 80 quid, so we turned in the family knife and used the licensing fee to get one of those instead. They don't technically meet the definition of a "knife" as written in the law, but of course, the joo barristers will eventually figure it out and re-write the law and eliminate the loophole.

>http://www.wired.co.uk/article/porn-block-ban-in-the-uk-age-verifcation-law
Soon they won't be able to even look at porn

>>10379349
Thats not happening now

>>10378844
We make our knives out of aluminium cans and just bin them during the council knife sweeps.

fuck the uk, what a shithhole.

>>10379378
You have to be pretty autistic to believe trolling

>>10379401
>w-were trolling its not real >>10379149

>>10379429
that has nothing to do with anything else being posted in this thread about 'banning knives' which is complete trolling

>>10379437

>>10379437
>implying knife control isn't a thing
You're talking about a country where cops confiscate bicycle wheels as suspicious dangerous objects.

>>10379149
>Today the Try Guys see what policing a muslim caliphate is like

say i have a friend who owns one of of these.

what kind of jail time would he face if he was caught with a spring-loaded, multi-bladed autoknife?

>>10379462
>me mum was killed by a bike wheel, bless you guys

>>10379437
>some guy is going to prison because he said something on the internet
what a fucking shtithole of a country.

>>10379035
>can still slash people
UKucks obviously didn't learn from rune scimmys

Save a life.
SURRENDER YOUR KNIFE!

>>10379509
he could hold off dozens of officers with that

>>10379509

I got 2 on a 2for1 deal.

It's not a knife. It's a metal plate and a piece of shit.

>>10378913
How dare they insinuate who I want to mate with.

>>10379032
I can't even imagine living under an authoritarian-leftist regime. The UK cannot be saved.

>>10379748
I wouldn't count them out just yet. There may come a day when they get pissed off enough again to do some deportation of (((undesireables))) and poo skins.

>>10379765
they gave away their guns, there is 100% no turning back now

that's why america needs to protect the 2nd at all costs. We are getting to the point where we may need to start using it for its intended purposes too
we now have organized rallies and government officials calling for the repeal of something in the original bill of rights so there better be some lead flying soon

>>10379778
screen capped for the next time some right wing loon tries to explain to me that gun maniacs aren't actually racist retards

>>10379783
how the fuck was any of that racist?

>>10379748
Leftist regime? The Tories are the ruling party m8

>>10379801
oh boy here we go. you hillbillies are literally calling for ethnic cleansing a second ago and then you have the temerity to go "oh, I'm not racist, (pick one: [there's no such thing as race]/[you're the racist]/[calling people racist is divisive]/etc"

do you think I was born yesterday? you're racist, you said racist stuff, end of story. I don't see why you people are so hesitant to embrace the r-word, considering you didn't hesitate to embrace white nationalism

>>10379825
Shut the fuck up you stupid nigger-jew.

>>10379837
maybe you should shoot me

>>10379825
shooting liberals and globalist government officials isn't ethnic cleansing
it's patriotism

>>10379844
would if I could
just give me a good reason

>>10379845
You sound like a maniac who needs to be medicated

>>10379845
>globalist
you do understand what that word means, yes?

and yes, (((undesirables))) and at least you didn't beat around the bush with the poo skins part

>>10379513
Kek. What's more priceless is most of the seized objects are related to bicycles or bicycle repair. Basically all the shit you would need to own a bicycle.

>>10379783
He has worded things poorly, but yes, importing people from areas that have an average IQ of below 90 with crime and terrorism rates at nightmarish levels for as far back as anyone can remember is a horrible idea. Many European countries seem to be trying to dig their own graves; and wanting to own a firearm as an insurance policy against this sort of national-suicide isn't mania. Besides, many of us like to hunt for sport and food.

>>10379853
I'm not white, I went to college, I have a passport, I make more money than you, I can read without moving my lips, and I shop at whole foods

isn't that reason enough?

tfw you realize V for Vendetta wasn't a movie but a documentary from the future.

>>10379861
>He has worded things poorly
I don't think he worded it poorly at all. I found the honesty refreshing, I'm just surprised he's backpedaling on an anonymous cartoon forum

>>10379845
This but unironically

>>10378909
that fork

>>10379783
>defending your liberty from leftist pieces of shit, like you, that want to destroy our culture and nation
Screencap that one too, faggot.

>>10379149
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb21_qI90pE
skip to 0:40 or so for the important part

>>10379825
>you're racist
So are you, faggot. You just don't have the integrity to admit it.

>>10379845
No, it's duty.

>>10379860
>electric power, steam power, internal combustion engine, modern physics, aviation technology, radio communication and broadcast technology, aerospace technology, modern medicine, modern agriculture

Whites invented the modern world we live in, so why shouldn't they be "racist"?

Seems to work for Japan.

>>10379985
Why are white people so useless?

>>10380011
And Arabs invented distillation. I guess it just goes to show you, it doesn't matter who invents. It matters who wins in the end.

I for one favor the creation of game reserves rather than eradication of the whites. Places where controlled hunts can take place, the proceeds would support white people conservation efforts.

I really don't know why people poke fun at the UK in this silly way

the first rule of comedy is to never punch down

>>10378844
>How do Brits cut their food?
With our sharp wit, of course. And cook it with our scathing sarcasm.

>>10379873
at most I'm sure 3 of those things are true

>>10380069
And you're sure the coal mines will be back any day now, right?

>>10379509
Assault knifles should be banned. This is clearly made simply to kill or maim people.

>>10378909
British knife amnesty banter.
9/10

>>10379981
>In the future car window screens have the potential to cut your head off

>>10378909
>that knife with the leather sheath and wooden handle

Shame, it's probably an old heirloom.

>>10379981
>>10380197
>Maniac has responded with a scornful remark.
Oh I love this movie.

And this is pretty much where Bongs are at now.