/ck/ - Food & Cooking

is that a shaved nut

There is no carton to open. I don't buy that government shit.

>>10286965

You're a shaved nut, you crazy bastard!

>>10286957
That chicken had her tubes tied too late.

>>10286957
Probably I would throw that one in the garbage but still use the other ones if they seem normal.

>>10286957
>pull down boxers every morning and see this

My chickens plop out odd eggs once and awhile. Plus they only harden when exposed to air. So if you can catch them literally straight out of the cloaca you can shape them.

>>10286957
how does he get out of there without breaking the egg?

>>10286957
send up a prayer for the poor hen who laid this egg

>>10287018
>So if you can catch them literally straight out of the cloaca you can shape them.

>>10287018
looks already boiled

>>10287018
Are you Dwight?

>>10287018
>so if you catch them literally straight out of the cloaca you can shape them

>>10287076
Just a guy with to much free time out in the sticks.

>>10287124
I need to see at least ten more pictures of that cute ass cat, homes.

>>10287064
>not naming that image "the upside flavortown"
opportunity missed

>>10287018

>>10287710
fucking lol

>>10287124
this is frighteningly comfy.

>>10287124
I never understood people who would have both a horse and a cat.

>>10287752
Bro thats a dog

>>10287772
Yeah that's what I meant.

>>10287772
Same thing. My cat attacks my gfs dog all the time. The dog lives in fear.

>>10287450

>>10287752
Why not? I've got both. They have a kind of coexistence but cats can be tsundere as fuck so the poor dog gets a good groom and cuddle and then gets good smack on the face.

>>10287450
G

>>10287450
I dont know if I have ten...

>>10287848
How's life in Australia?

>>10287450
.

>>10287827
>>10287837
>>10287848
>>10287855
Yeah, that's right. You better keep that shit coming. Grandma's counting.

>>10287853
Im to lazy to fix them.

we /an/ now niggas

>>10287450

>>10286957
Speaking of balloon knot, I'm gonna fuckin fuck you

>>10287867
we buy the same cat litter

I also have one gray stripey cat and one black cat

>>10287904
those are some cute kits

>>10287837
BLACKED

>>10287710
kek, pretty good

>>10287450

>>10288517

I'd use your cats for target practice if I lived next to you

>>10288531
how edge of you

>>10288534
>durr edgy xD
But seriously I'd kill the shit out of those cats and think nothing of it because only the weak and women own them

>>10288548
My black cat brings me mice and chipmunks that I then feed to my chickens. If youve ever lived outside of suburbia youd know how useful they are for the amount of work you have to put into them.

>>10287752
>>10287788
>When you let cartoons shape your reality

>>10288531
>>10288548
You want to know how I know you're some shade of brown?

>>10288588
>pot smoking degenerate
Now I definitely wouldn't feel sorry for you

>>10288517
>>10288520
what the fuck dude, that's my cat

>>10288594
Why would you need to feel sorry for me?

>>10288597
I used to put her in a harness and carry her around on my shoulder when I went into town and Id get told that constantly. Shes a very generic cat.

Edge in this thread is to much ib gotta pull a neo and dodge those baits.

>>10286957
Return the slab

>>10286957
Is that a giraffe egg?

>>10287710
Lost my shit on the bus, fuck you anon

>>10287827
this looks heavenly

>>10288588
You seem to have a comfy life anon.

>tfw don't own rural property and procure my own food

>>10286957
>what do?
cut your nails faggot

>>10288838
Its fine as long as you dont care about long commutes or hanging out with people. I talk to my neighbors out of sheer boredom sometimes. Usually Ill bring him some food a cooked or plants Ive grown or alcohol Ive made.as an excuse.

>>10287018
>So if you can catch them literally straight out of the cloaca you can shape them.

>>10288548
>But seriously I'd kill the shit out of those cats and think nothing of it because only the weak and women own them
I didn't think browsing 4chan was allowed in middle school

>>10289367
You should check any thread involving cats on /an/. This is common.

>>10287018
What the fuck

>>10287710
first one of these I've laughed at

>>10289385
Wish they were my balls tbqh

>>10287423
What's going on here? Bullying?

>>10290301
Just PTSD of when coach wanted the D.

>>10290301
Food Boy movie

>>10288531
>>10288588
I wish you did live next to him cause I hate that attention whoring retard and his shitty poverty cookalongs. I hope his cats die.

>>10287018

>the entirety of this thread

ITT food reality dispatched millenials get triggered by actual farming.

>>10288592
okay
amuse my 100% danish ancestry, amerimutt

>>10287710

>>10290301
Food Boy.

Ryan from High School musical learns he's part of a secret master race of superpowered humans who can produce food from their wrists just by thinking about it. The goal of these people is for each of them to create a new addition to the world's recipe books. BUT the more people that know about his powers, the worse his food tastes. Also, creating food is physically draining and can lead to dehydration and passing out.

So what does Ryan from High School Musical do? He uses his superpowers over food to put on a magic show so he can become class president, alienating his friends and falling for the Alpha Bitch in the process.

>>10287064

>>10287710
oh my god

>>10287855
cozy cottage anon

>>10288531
>>10288548
>im an autistic 12 year old the post

>>10290458
that explains everything actually

>>10287018
we had a flock at the zoo where i worked and sometimes they would lay square-ish eggs, and sometimes eggs with another egg inside of them, like pic related

>>10288592
I'm interested in knowing how you know, because the way he says it screams "suburbanite white kid/Dexter in training" to me.
Nogs lead in killing each other, but that's all gang violence. Whites rule the serial killer/randomly killing animals territory.

>>10290745
>egg inside an egg
The fuck...

>>10290792
imagine there was a traffic jam

>>10287710
This isn't funny. None a this is funny.

>>10288592
>only a dane would consider themselves white

Even a slavic is a better specimin than you Butter Cookies. you are weak sub breed, the niggers of western europe. No one likes you and your faggot windmills.

thanks for the gay pet thread fags

>>10290779
Hundreds of videos online of nogs torturing cats would beg to differ with your white guilt, you champagne socialist cunt.

>>10291315
gordonramseyITSFUCKINGRAW.jpg

>>10291242
>imply that a white person could do something negative
>this triggers the stormfag

LOL

>>10291315
Well, she'll probably loose some weight from shitting herself once she gets salmonella.

>>10286957
>Curse Image Thread
Aww heck yeah

>>10291363

>>10291372
For a second, I thought that was purple ketchup.

>>10291394

>>10288588
Thanks for the comfy pics anon, you're lovely

>>10290808
There can also be 2 yolks in the same shell

>>10290745
wtf?

>>10290745

>>10287710

>>10286957
It looks like it got caught in the chicken vagina.

>>10290745

From this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_1206178973&feature=iv&src_vid=truDCu1gYqQ&v=XxhUo6nn6OE

>>10287710

>>10290745
that's some out of the matrix shit, anon

>>10287018
I have a new entry on my bucket list.

>>10291918
i hate this and i hate you

>>10290745
>eggception

>>10291481

>>10287018
this sounds like the beginning of a terrible idea

>>10287018
everyday we stray further from god's light

>>10289431
Sad
10 years ago 4chan adored cats

>>10291386
this physically hurts

>>10291417
bean boy is back

>>10290792
Eggception

>>10292524
eggceptionally funny post

>>10292524
>>10293319
>>10293365
kek

>>10288161
> not BEWITCHED.
One job.

>>10290745
>>10287018
my chicken sometimes lay double eggs. 1.5 of its original size and double yolk

>>10287018
You ever slaughter one and try the unlaid eggs?

>>10288531
If I lived next to you I'd use you for target practice.

>>10293365
>>10292524
These shitty puns are uneggseptable!

>>10287837
a.. are those cats fucking in missionary position?

>>10291394
add peanut butter & honey to that and you're in business

>>10291379
I'd stick my dick in that.

>>10293797
>Unlaid eggs
wtf anon
this is a real cursed image

>>10293797
most revolting I've seen today, congratulations

>>10293797
The unlaid eggs in chicken soup is fucking delicious. Its like free egg yolks without white

>>10291533
>>10293680
double yolks are pretty common I think, my neighbor is a farmer and sells eggs from a little fridge in front of his house, and there's always a few trays of double yolk eggs

Here's an onion.

>>10291394
Wash down my banana with a fat cup a piss
My third eye's open, so give me some swiss miss

>>10293797
...so that's what it was. When I was a kid there was this food stall that sold some fried(i think?) eggs on skewer. But the inside and the taste was different than usual eggs, it also had little eggs besides it, so I thought it was some other animal's egg and not chicken. Turns out they were unlaid eggs and chicken ovaries.

>>10294159
Worked on a poultry farm for 6 months. In my hut there were 4500 hens and we would get around 3.5k to 3.8k eggs a day. From that i'd collect maybe 30 double yolk eggs a day.

>>10294221
Clean out your pantry more often and keep onions away from potatoes

>>10291378
me too and I'm not even a burger. fuck consumerism

>>10294644
>keep onions away from potatoes
Why? Do they not like each other?

>>10290745
so THAT's where Turduckens come from

>>10294619
Did you have to inspect eggs all day?

>>10291333
If they do something bad they aren’t white anymore

>>10294619
You should collect them and sell them by the dozen as rare double yolk eggs
I’m sure someone would buy it

>>10291333
>implies whites are serial killers and animal abusers and nobody can compete
>ummm sweety, like, I just implied a white person could do something negative
Shouldn't you be in some cuckold thread in /gif/ or something?

>>10294745
I dunno something about fumes that they give off. They make each other go bad faster. Google it

>>10291443
Those are some weird cats

A real classic.

>>10296304
Reminds me of that south park episode

>>10288548
go back to /pol/ you cringy idiot

>>10286957
pucker my asshole

>>10296304
>>10296326
That isn't the pope btw that is Saint-Nicholas a Ducth saint that, like Robin Hood, gave money to the poor and actually had his chimneysweeper workers slip through chimneys to leave money, food sometimes presents. He is what santa is based on and became a holiday and mythical character on its own. Ofcourse, also everyone complaining that it's racist "cause chimney sweepers are black cause tar reminds of slavery"

>>10296380
Yeye, I know. Same ridiculous headgear though

>>10296339
/pol/ would have him executed for edgyness and degeneracy

>>10286957
Fucking open it. Horrors within or just regular egg?

>>10294636
Are these supposed to be okra?

>>10287018
Chicken Pervert

>>10296396
>act like an angsty 13 year old
>get crucified for it

>advocate mass extermination of all non-whites, homosexuals and anyone who disagrees with such a proposition
>perfectly fine and encouraged
jesus christ, /pol/

>>10296429
Please stop spamming the word "pol". Not him, but it's just not an argument and it's getting really kinda spammy on 4chan.

>>10296423
Those are literally zucchini's you asshat

>>10296431
>that /pol/ damage control

go back where you came from

>>10296443
Those are clearly post-op limes trying to be zucchinis. Don't judge though.

>>10296380
>that is Saint-Nicholas a Ducth saint that, like Robin Hood, gave money to the poor and actually had his chimneysweeper workers slip through chimneys to leave money, food sometimes presents. He is what santa is based on and became a holiday and mythical character on its own. Ofcourse, also everyone complaining that it's racist "cause chimney sweepers are black cause tar reminds of slavery"
Err, that's really the whole story summed up. He is without a doubt, not just a helper, but an enslaved helper. Read the historical account entirely. I think it's all pretty silly, but there are many facets to his blackness, not the least of which is taking on the bad cop role that has left Santa's role and attributed just to him, ie black is evil, black is bad.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zwarte_Piet

don't click this one

>>10288588
i want to live with you

what breeds are your chickens

Man this thread is weird as fuck. I might have to start browsing /ck/

>>10296453
Is it gay if i like this?

>>10296470
>clicked image
>got virus
Fuck i shouldve listened.

>>10293797
Well, now that I have seen literally everything, guess I can finally kill myself.

>>10296441
What the fuck is happening here

>>10290808

I thought the diagram was of some astrological process at first.

unlaid eggs are unironically delicious

>>10287867
is that a tabby cat i see

>>10296464
I'm sorry but this whole article is just some anti western hatefest. I didn't read all that gay shit. I actually learned in elementary school the history about this. He was a guy that had chimney sweepers give money to the poor and was killed because it was a crime. No it wasn't "hurr I'm white and le ebin odin says that I wuz better than u" fucking gay ass cuck shit right there. Couldn't be a better source than wikipedia ofcourse.

>>10296940
Don't even respond to me I'm fucking tired of people protesting a holiday of people dressing up as a character, giving candy to kidq. I'm just so so sooooooooo tired of people that use conspiracy theories to ruin a innocent childrens holiday and call everyone *sigh..* racist as always ofcourse..

circumcise it

>>10296963
Dickless detected. That's what circumcised ones look like.

>>10296457
IT'S HURTING MY BRAIN AAAAAAAGH

>>10289385

BME pain olympics?

Has anyone here tried balut? Fertilized duck egg. My Filipina ex told me about her dad always crunching on their tiny bones.

>>10296491
Rhode island reds.

>>10296453
Alright I know this is one of those not what it appears images but I've been staring for a long time and I have no idea

>>10291449
What’s the problem with this? I loved an ice sarnee from me ma on a lovely English summers day back in the 90’s

>>10286957
>what do?
Make a thread on /ck/

>>10294221
nice 'on

>>10299012
>go on /ck/
>see this thread
what do?

>>10286957
It's moments like these where you realize something is not quite right, and the world is not what it seems

>>10299281
it's a glitch in the matrix, bro

>>10286965
fpbp

>>10299281
>and the world is not what it seems
oooooOOooOooOOOOOoo

>>10296782
piggies

>>10297122
The trapezoid pieces grow a little bit. Hard to catch.

>>10293030
Did u make that just now?

>>10289385
What kind of pincushion is that

>>10292524
>>10293365
>>10294019
Those puns are really fucking geyeeg!

>pink round thing with a spiral tail

proto-european.jpg

>>10299386
how could he make it now if you already saw it existing to ask that question

>>10290818
lel

>>10295979
um, those are fish?

>>10287018
Could you tie a box to their butt to get square eggs?

>>10299949
fundit!

>>10298469
The "dick" is actually the other guys hand holding the cup.

>>10296339
Pol tards love cats.

I've seen worse.

>>10287124
The fucking dog on the bottom looks like its gonna steal my soul. jesus

>>10300237
I disagree

>>10293797
owch my trypophobia

>>10300259

>>10293797
>>10299949
>>10287018
eggs will never be the same to me again. Thank you /ck/

>>10300298

>>10300318

>>10293137
this is no longer 4chan though, it is just r_thedonald

>>10300346
The complaint as old as 4chan itself.

>>10300314

I thought this was common knowledge cmon guys

>>10295979
dorito

>>10300298
Does that dog have cherry eye

>>10300452
Yea. She does.

>>10300462
Someone should fix that.

>>10287431
I get so sick of incompetent women. Let me give you some personal insight on the matter.

I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant.
She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

>>10300475
She has addisons. The 260$ a month her medication costs prevents any cosmetic fixes.

>>10288548
You know what's fun? Giving retards like these a taste of their own medicine.

Boy, I'd love to break your boy pucci into unimaginably painful shapes.

>>10287018
>>10287710

>>10286957

I always open the carton in the store and inspect for broken eggs. Usually they are all okay, but sometimes one or more are broken.

>>10300906
Well that's a great way of getting yourself ambushed by the store jester.

>>10300541
>this stale pasta
I've read more shocking shit on reddit

>>10300924
>Well that's a great way of getting yourself ambushed by the store jester.

Huh? Explain, please.

>>10300971

>>10287431
>it's just a pot of tomato sauce
what the fuck is going on here?

>>10293584
Iirc some famous ass chef, maybe somewhere in Europe or maybe he's pannise served a Marlboro infused ice cream to bourdain during a big multi course dinner so he wouldn't get nic-fits half way through..

>>10294110
This, any farmer that has chickens will add them to the soup. Kids in thread revolted at it, are either focusing on the entrails next to them in pic (which still shouldnt be anything special if you ever prepared a chicken), the white underdeveloped ones (which you dont add) or/and never even had anything outside of supermarket pre-cooked food.

Its just egg yolk. The reactions here are a bit parallel to kids surprised that milk comes from cows and not the supermarket cartons

>>10287710
fuck this was a good one.

well played

>>10286957
That egg has been corrupted. It's best to kill it.

>>10288548
>>10288594
>being this much of a dumb nigger

>>10287018
>So if you can catch them literally straight out of the cloaca you can shape them.

Fucking great.

>>10287431
Did the cat trip her? She looks like she wants to kill it.

>>10300924
>>10300987
Holy shit you just made me remember that when I was around 10 years old I was inspecting the eggs in the carton by myself at a supermarket and this dumb clown (a literal clown with balloons and everything) with a bunch of kids showed up, asked what I was doing and tried to make some jokes. I just looked at him with a dead expression and he said I was no fun and left me alone

>>10301001
>>10302573
>mince onions and cook down whole roma tomatoes for hours
>throw in garlic and pepper at the very end for optimal flavor, almost dinner time
>asshole cat bats my leg and heads to the largest section to fuck with it
Yep, sounds about right for cat ownership.

>>10302584
Holy shit was this in southern Indiana? We had an overweight clown that kept showing up in grocery stores and telling bad jokes, handing out balloons, and lighting firework sparklers but leaving before the cops showed up.

>>10287450

You got a nice fucking cat, OP.

>>10287018
I can't imagine a chicken would be ok with you doing this

>>10298453

Look like benis but is thumb.

>>10302604
Kek this is a global thing apparently
It happened in Brazil

>>10302679
This was when movie rental places still existed in America. Hell, this is when movie rental places or sections the size of places stocking VHS existed inside of grocers.

It was surreal, like something inside a nightmare. Random-ass clown with balloon and fireworks between the VHS aisle nearly the size of Blockbuster and the dairy and meat section, about ready to haul-ass to avoid the cops again.

Occasionally you see some weird out of place shit in life.

>>10286965
Smooth as eggs

>>10302712
>like something inside a nightmare
Indeed, specially for a 10 year old. Not long after the supermarket story I had another creepy incident with a clown and I'm still afraid of them to this day

>>10293797
Surprised vegans don't spread pics like this more often, this is more revolting than any slaughter I've seen.

>>10287827
My cat taught my dog to hide his poop so I only got to witness my dog's poop when he was a puppy. Cats and dogs are the best combo.

Question how it is that I forgot to check the carton for defects in the store.

>>10286957
Send it to a biologist.

>>10287018
Interesting, how does it feel?


Is it warm inside there?

>>10303549
Inhospitable to your dick if that's what you're asking.

put me in the screencap boi

>>10294551
Did they taste good?

Anybody have that one with the full McDonald's cup jutting sideways out of a cupholder? Been looking for it for a while.

>>10303687
here you go

b u m p

>>10303687
>cupholder
It's a bottleholder.

>>10304085
>I come from a world you may not understand

>>10298217
Hello, Everett.

>>10298217
From Rhode Island. That works for Irwin.

I found this image on 4chan.
anyone know what the fuck is that?

>>10304498
ebrietas, daughter of cosmos

>>10304498
I believe that's a cow stomach.

>>10293797
Massimo Bottura, chef of Osteria Francescana, named the best restaurant in the world a couple of years ago, prepared those in an old Heston Blumenthal tv show when he was still relatively unknown:
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xndufc
(minute 9:00)

>>10304521
Cow stomachs usually look like this

>>10296568
Watched a preying mantis nurse on a woman's erect nipple last night until it was bleeding significantly. Unlaid eggs is nothing.

>>10296425
not him, but in the youth of my grandma there was a lot of poverty and just like people counted the fruit in their trees while watching for thieves, they would also check if the chicken had an egg to lay in the morning by sticking a finger up her cloaca.

>>10287431
PUFFY

>>10303680
They were alright. My 2nd favorite part of chicken's innards, after gizzard.

>>10294636
these are zucchinis, a small round variety it seems, or another summer squash

>>10300475
I fixed my dog's cherry eye once. It just took a little massaging.

>>10292524
>>10293365
>>10294019
>>10299410
haha egg

>>10300541
My man.

Ever heard of "apple rust" before?

Apple trees are allergic to cedar trees. Keep them far away from eachother.

This is the probably the best thread I've seen on this site in a while.

>>10291443
homestuck general?

>>10288548
I suppose you prefer rats

>>10304451
>>10304454
"no"

>>10290458
>danish
>the niggs of Scandinavia
That explains it

>>10299410
>>10294019
these puns are really reddit

>>10307525
Your shitty post is Regget

>>10287710
>>10287018

>>10296441
i definitely thought the two larger pigs were human thighs and someone was enjoying a piglet suckling their penis

>>10307309

It's not any sort of allergic reaction. It's a fungus that can use the susceptibility of both trees to hop between the two with the different seasons for its reproductive cycle. The leaves of the cedar and the fruits of the (crab) apple tree grow these spore containing stalks.

>>10291443
We require more nutrients

>>10291379
reminded me of her.

>>10287710
top kek

>>10302861

Yeah and people are little babies about it. My 8 year old nephew saw a truck filled with pigs headed for slaughter, refused to eat meat anymore. Now his parents have banned talking about where the meat comes from since it is "upsetting".

It's pathetic, people should man up and just be fine where their meal comes from, or not eat it at all if it makes them uncomfortable.

In Britain 11% of all highschool kids questioned thought eggs were made from wheat and rice, and were disgusted when they knew it came from a chicken. Over 60% thought milk was just "made in a factory" and didn't believe it came from animals.

Here in the Netherlands, thousands of kids were also under the impression that either milk was not animal-based or that a cow could produce chocolate-milk.

I have no idea how this even happened.

>>10304570

Looks like a soft bath towel.

>>10304570
This is only the lining after it has been bleached.
(Note: I have no idea if the other thing was a cow stomach)

>>10296092
Oh my god.

>>10291372
cursed image