/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10253405
Flaccid cock

Mouthfeel.

taste

>>10253419
>WOW DA T... DA TE... DA MOUFEEL IS REALLY GOOD AND YUMMY

when describing coffee
>Fruity

just say its SOUR, because that's what it is

fucking SOUR

>>10253405
HEART-HEALTHY

>>10253440
Also any adjective a wine fag would use. Beer fuckers too for that matter.

>>10253439
>oooohh mommy

>goodness

>>10253405
>tfw you take hubby to the new gastropub in NoHo and he doesn't appreciate all the super yummy food
>tfw he won't eat the artisanal deconstructed natural sandwich he ordered because he found out the tomatoes weren't local and cage-free

*SIGHS LOUDLY* Its tough being a 33 year old white married woman in modern America I swear..

>>10253574
(You)

>>10253574
>gastropub
This is such an unappetizing word.

>>10253405
>aroma
>texture
>palette
>notes
>hints
anything to do with elitist tasting

Keto

>>10253440
The most heinous coffee one ive heard was "earthy"

So basically it tastes like fuckin dirt

>>10253621
3 of my close friends were on a keto diet like 2 years ago it was so fuckin annoying hearing about that shit

>>10253473
>Medium body with good legs, a strong asphalt nose with undertones of brick and shoe leather. Upfront taste of stonefruit with a finish of unwashed vagina.

>>10253641
If it works, it works. No sense getting mad about them being happy and telling each other about it.

I hate It when food manufacturers put country names in front of foods that have clearly nothing to do with the country concerned
Italian sausage etc.
But my biggest hate is anyone who refers to blue cheese as Bleu. Fucking blue cheese didn't even originate in France. It's a pure pleb filter.

Fast

Gourmet.

>>10253663
What a slut that chicken is. I'd eat her.

Muh organic
Muh natural

>French Champagne
every time.

Artistic Authentic Rustic food with local and organic ingredients halal cuisine. (50% gratuity included)

>>10253473
I'm guessing you don't enjoy the peppery, full bodied mouthfeel of a good quality Cab' Sauv' then ?

>>10253641
>it was so fuckin annoying hearing about that shit
I feel you.
>>10253659
>If it works, it works. No sense getting mad about them being happy and telling each other about it.
There is the same aspect of annoyance that you get from like vegans. I'm glad it is working for you, but for fucks sake, does every goddamn conversation need to start and end with your fucking diet?

>bone broth
>dry brine
>umami
>pho pronounced the """correct""" way

>>10253719
What is the """correct""" way of pronouncing pho? I always just say it like foe.

>>10253715
Just a quick follow up/clarification.
I'm happy as fuck that people care about their health and are trying to loose weight. I'm am 100% behind there being less fatfucks in our world. Just try not to become a broken record in the process.

>>10253726
"fedora"

>>10253726
Furr-er.
Add a rising inflection to the last r for authenticity.
t. Viet jungle bunny

>>10253748
Man how the hell does that get translated as "pho" then

>>10253755
It's called dialect.
My jungle monkey language isn't based on phonetics like English is.

Yummy
Tasty

>>10253615
>tfw French and all dem words listed are used on a daily basis here when cooking

>>10253419
>>10253439
I've posted this before and I'll post it again. I think that mouthfeel is a perfectly fine term depending on what you are talking about. 99% of things people use the word mouthfeel for are stupid as fuck but if you do something like home brewing and are trying to figure out the correct proportions of malto-dextrose to add to achieve the correct "Mouthfeel" yes it is appropriate. It's a rarely used industry term approriated by foodies then restaurants and retailers started using it to cater to their pretentious interests is some kind of fucked up feedback loop. Now I feel like a dipshit when I'm trying to talk about the astringency of a pilsner using the word mouthfeel.

All organic

>>10253405
I just wish the term superfood applied to things that are actually pretty super. Case in point: Honey. Calorie dense, never spoils, universal sweetener/ingredient, can be made into alcohol, also tastes great. I have my fucking morning coffee with honey. So when some one is trying to explain to me how a fucking chia seed is a super food they can go fuck themselves.

(((Artisanal)))

>>(((Artisanal)))

>taste
>flavor
>calories
>temperature

>>10253405
I hate this. The term usually just means food with lots of nutrients that aren’t really bioavailable

>(((Artisanal)))

>>10253439
What word would you use instead? Physical sensation plays a big part in the enjoyment of food, so we have to describe it somehow. I think mouthfeel is perfectly fine.

>>10253439
It's supposed to be used to describe non-textured or temperature related sensations "hot but not spicy hot" is a shitty way to describe something mouth feels designates between the two. Think of how ginger or mint have a cooling effect in the mouth even in heated dishes. It was appropriated to mean texture by hipsterish faggots which pretty much defeats the purpose of the word though. At one time though it served a purpose.

>>10253736
I has one friend who was vegetarian for a year before I found out because he just didn't talk about it and only ordered vegetarian options if they were available. When asked why he didn't let me know (I could have considered it when picking out places to eat when we hung out) he told me it's a diet not a religion. Think that was a super respectful way to phrase it. No need to preach about it or be judgey.

>>10253765
I always thought the 'correct' way was like "Fuh" and I never call it that because it sounds absolutely retarded.
>You wanna go out and check out that new Fuh place?

>>10253961
For physical sensations texture.

>>10253719
>dry brine

What fresh hell is this?

>>10254269
faggot for "salt"

>>10253405
Soy
Please shut up

Gourmet.

Artisan, easily the most annoying one, so many fucking companies put it on their shitty products.

>>10253439

>>10254147
>he told me it's a diet not a religion.
Your friend sounds like a chill dude.

>>10253602
this. always makes me think of gastropod. and then i want a giant african land snail but they are illegal in the US because it would destroy Florida...like it would fucking matter

>>10253678

>>10253574
>>10253602
>Yeah I went to see my GI doc Tuesday, says I have gastropub...

>>10254407
Im so sorry anon

clean eating
detox
purify

>>10253405
>foodie

and

>organic

"the flavors marry real nicely!" while doing some retarded hand gestures to convey taht the flavors do in fact marry real nicely

>>10253405
'earthy'

>>10254345
>tfw no GALS
>no apple snails either
>giant ramshorn also out of the question
fug
at least P. Diffusa is specifically exempt here, pic related

>>10253885
French are stereotyped as being elitist, maybe that's part of why.

>>10254964
>tfw watching baby GALS giveaways on /an/
the worst feel

TANGY

>>10253405
Bioavailable
>>10253955

Fusion cousine

>>10253897
I agree but will add that "mouthfeel" is also completely applicable when discussing cocktails.
A sour with egg white has a different viscosity and composition from a Lion's Tail, thus a different "mouthfeel", for example.

juicey

>infused
>paleo
>antioxidants
>probiotic
>energy boosting
>artisanal
>certified organic non-GMO gluten-free all-natural sugar-free

>>10253897
>mouthfeel applied to drinks

>>10253726
just pronounce the first few letters of FUCK.
t. worked in Gouger Street for too long and am basically a naturalised ngyuin at this point.

Halal

>>10253663
Is that a stiegel radler?

>free range
code for "I'm a dickhead who spends 2x on eggs"
>kale
it's a golf course landscaping plant and tastes bad
>artisinal
uh huh. the hispanic ladies who packt hat shit sure are artists
>home style
>foodie
>all natural
glad to know my peanut butter doesn't contained refined plutanium

Halal, because it doesn't even mean halal. It's supposed to mean animals that are slaughtered a certain way, but for whatever fucking reason middle eastern food trucks in NYC use it for what's basically just Greek food.

I like Greek food, but if that's what it is then just say so.

>>10253765
English is barely based on phonetics compared to like say, Japanese.

>>10256801
Yeah I can agree on that I walked by a middle eastern buffet place today and they had a sign in the window that said "Halal by request" so either they have some shitty halal meat in their freezer or they just bring out new shit and tell you it's Halal like I was wondering how the fuck they can even do halal on request
Also red velvet anything, I know the original red velvet cake was made at the Waldorf Astoria and it was based on some chemical reaction with baking soda or something like that but now it's just red food coloring and vanilla flavoring packaged as red velvet. Red velvet Oreos shouldn't be fucking possible.

>>10253405
>chill
>chiller
>chillers

>>10254157
"Fuh" is how Lao and Thai people say it at least, vietnamese are probably different
>mfw someone pronounces "larb"

>delicatessen

>foie gras
>hors douvres

>>10253951
very unsettling gif

>>10253440
Uh, no. "Bright" would be used to describe sour or acidic. Fruity flavors are often accompany a bright coffee but they can also be present in coffee that aren't bright at all, though thatd most likely a dark berry flavor.

Umami is the reaction of your tongue with L-Glutamates, it's Japanese for delicious because the japs found it, they can name it. It is NOT just a synonym for delicious.

>>10256928
The fuck else are you supposed to call "foie gras?" I guess you could call it "fat liver" (which is the literal translation), but that sounds dumb.

>>10256928
>he thinks Olive Garden is fine dining

Veggies
'za
Tendies

>>10254964
>>10254983
Fuuuuuck you guys for giving me snail feels on /ck/. Feels fucking bad man.

>>10253755
>>10253748
>>10253726
>>10255954
This is what it sounds like:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/be/Ph%E1%BB%9F.oga

>>10256928
>gib me muh un-furriner names or I ain't playing.
Sure thing, Cletus, now say hi to your sisterfuck while she's on her way out to meet Tyrone!

>>10253961
Texture. Consistency.

>>10255954
>>10259163
There's a place in Minneapolis called Pho King.

It's a childish joke but I wonder if they didn't do it intentionally and how many people get it.

There's also a Big Wang Buffet.

>>10256152
>tfw you only buy free range eggs

>freerange

>crafted
I hate it in all culinary usages, but just kek when it's on packaged foods.

>>10255556
that looks fucking disgusting

>>10255661
>paleo
I love how they conveniently ignore that primitive men all died of horrible diseases by age 35

>>10253621
>Keto

>>10259423
>I'll take things that never happened for $800, Alex.
Those that survived childhood (yes infant mortality was high, the weak were culled) were multitudes stronger than any modern medico-pharma addicted, supermarket aisle mincing faggot who thinks meat grows in grocery coolers and GMO grains will set him free.

>molecular gastronomy

>>10259835
> Those that survived childhood (yes infant mortality was high, the weak were culled) were multitudes stronger than any modern medico-pharma addicted, supermarket aisle mincing faggot
Because argot and parasites give you superpowers, and society was never ready to accept that.