/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Let's get it over with.

>>10248111
I don't understand..
How does he get out of there?

inb4 XDDDDD
>eggman in pile of eggs! XDD
>Sad Gook girl boicrush no rike her she drop food on ground! xP
>FAT GUY SHUCKS AT COOKIN XDDD
>BLACK man porn !!! XDDDDD
>GAY SEX WEBM!!! XDDD
>CHICKEN GYRO webm with filename "chicken Gyro"!!
>Big MAC CREPE/ICE CREAM!! X)))))
>MEXIcan DORITOS SALAD "Food" webbums :(((((((

>>10248031
give me the fucking source alright
google doesnt give me shit dude

>>10248122
He's cursed to live there until /ck/ stops posting him.

>>10248122
>leaving your egg fort
why would he leave?

>>10248205
Sure, when some foodstall worker puts in a little showmanship and juggling everybody loves it but when I do it at my job they get super pissy.
So sick of the double standards.

>>10248205
>no mortal kombat theme
This shouldn't have been made into a webm.

>>10248163
boku no pico de gallo

>>10248219
Yeah, being a surgeon is overrated. No fun ever.

>>10248236

>>10248345
That cat looks like an anime lol

>>10248236
My surgeon juggled the scalpels and anesthetics before putting me under. There's no double standard you just need to apply yourself.

>>10248198
disgusting.

who the fuck lets you retards out of your basement

>>10248182
kill yourself this is disguting.

>>10248236
Hah! you're not even that far off; ICU nurse.
I watched a surgeon pull out his mobile phone in the middle of removing half of a woman's colon to buy a new BMW once, actually.

>>10248224
You should be able to hear it in your head when watching the webm.
That pan looks like shit, by the way. I would have expected that under those conditions all their pans had a decent seasoning at least. Do they scrub it with a steel brush daily?

>>10248430
>I watched a surgeon pull out his mobile phone in the middle of removing half of a woman's colon to buy a new BMW once, actually

how is that sanitary?

>>10248236
kek in residency I used to shitpost on /ck/ and /tv/ until a guy died on the table and they took away all our ipads
t. anesthesia

>>10248462
you can take off your sterile garb aka descrub although some surgeons aren't too particular about how far they go with that

>>10248464
what the fuck

>>10248471
I should clarify it was at another hospital but it kinda made the rounds in the community about distractions being bad, which we knew already, but these days mobile phones and ipads make the problem much worse

>>10248550
was there a lawsuit?

>>10248031
i'm no weeaboo but i want to live in japan so bad i don't know what the heck it is but i'm not alone so i know there's something to it

>>10248425
I guess you can just stick with your tasteless easy fry tendies then you tubby cunt.

>>10248140
>>FAT GUY SHUCKS AT COOKIN XDDD
>>BLACK man porn !!! XDDDDD

wait which ones are these
i think you just have black gay porn on your brain

>>10248182
dumb shit like that makes me happy
they look like oranges XD

>>10248224
my friend had the soundtrack to that movie on cd when we were kids, all i can year is
Y'ALL READY FOR THIS
maybe some juke joint jezebel too

>>10248705
I'm guessing jack for the first one and the second is pretty common, newfig

>>10248662
I imagine so. I have no idea how malpractice works in certain cases, but in this one the surgeon had cut a major blood vessel and didn't realize it so the patient lost a lot of blood and by the time anesthesia realized it was too late. Technically you are supposed to record things like heart rate, blood pressure and such every 5 minutes in a special chart but in practice (since most of the time nothing happens) that only gets done every 15-20 minutes. The alarm on the anesthesia machine was off too probably because that shit is annoying. So basically the guy is bleeding to death and his caretaker wasn't doing his job and was playing candy crush he could have caught it in time, but he didn't and then the failsafe alarm didn't go off because it had been silenced at some point maybe for a previous case

Sometimes it's hard for people to tell when they should sue but the thing is this was a young guy (~35) without major health problems so the family probably was like "um yeah he probably shouldn't have died getting back surgery"

>>10248111
How does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>>10248182
As much as I hate everything about this webm I'm gonna have to say that this probably tastes pretty good. If you fried it right and the chicken is juicy. I mean buttermilk marinades for chicken aren't exactly uncommon. Also the hasselback cutting of the chicken is cool for taking it apart, never thought of that. As for the cheetos, there are a ton of different breadings people use, i've heard of worse. I'd use hot cheetos for the breading and make a sour cream/cream cheese fresh herb dip. Probably chives and dill.

>>10248425
stupid faggot

>>10248198
This is actually a pretty normal idea for a marinade. This is just middle eastern chicken tendies. I wonder what the dip was. It look like something tomato or pepper based but I have no idea.

>>10248781
Fuck me that's horrifying.

>>10248111
How does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>>10248122
>>10248791
You have to eat all the eggs. Only then is he free.

>>10248705
First one is about Jack webms and second is reference to the resident BLACKED poster that spams the entire board with black cocks once every 2 weeks.

Going to post random .webm in folder to see what it is

>>10248111
This is the only reason I come to webm threads. Bless you.

>>10248890
ah, a classic :)

>>10248890
Do you know the context?

>>10248908
They just got done fucking

>>10248908
No but it's probably a dad having enough of his loser NEET son doing nothing but playing video games all day long.

Quite relatable because my brother is a NEET motherfucker that just drains our family's money while getting deliveries and playing games all night long. I wish I could crush his computer with a sledgehammer like in the webm and force him to work at McDonalds or something (it's a start).

Posting another random webm

>>10248937
Fuck, that actually made me flinch. I imagined the camera breaking and it scared the shit out if me.

>>10248949

>>10248182
>it looks like fruit mom! its healthy!

>>10248696
Ah, I see you're a weeaboo as well.

>>10248848
That's the reason why he's so surly?

>>10248696
Traveling to Japan is fun, but living there is a whole different beast. Please reconsider.

>>10248696
i also want to live in Japan, however their extreme racism and hierarchical society is a major turn off for me.

>>10248140
i haven't been here in almost a month but it is good to see that the tradition is alive and well.

>>10249046
it's understandable that he would be, considering he can't leave until he cooks like a bajillion eggs

>>10248781
>>10248430

what kind of shithole do you live in where this kind of shit is allowed?

>>10248890
console fags btfo

>>10248781
I say again WHAT THE FUCK

>>10249021
nobody thinks this
you are very stupid for thinking people think this

>>10249103
shut the fuck up nobody asked you

>>10249094
haha mad

>>10249171
i was parodying the "no calorie=healthy" meme, dont actually think anyone things that but its a big world so who knows.

where's the 3-post long pasta of all the inb4's

I always lose it when those get posted

>>10249351

>>10248236
I just feel bad for these kids. Obviously hungry and not super thrilled about this, but gotta survive.

>>10248469
Yeah, definitely takes a special kind of person to become a surgeon, so doesn't really surprise me.

>>10248781
>The alarm on the anesthesia machine was off too probably because that shit is annoying

>>10248111
How does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

guys I made a new thread come post your egg webms here

>>10249231

>>10249497
>(dead)

good boy

>>10249497
whops forgot image

>>10249513
I thought calling a mod a "boy" was a bannable offense

>>10249520
I meant the anon who linked the dead thread, Besides, mods don't delete threads, janitors do

Mods are too important and act as countersigning officers / illegal content controllers.

>>10249530
>how to waste an emu egg

>>10249530
that's a big egg

>>10249530
I am very sad that the janitor deleted my egg webm thread

>>10249655
I already know how to make nut milk but thanks anyways

>>10248191
NO HURT CRAB!

>>10249655
Seems like a waste of nuts

>>10248122
He has to sell all the eggs

>>10248696
I want to live in Japan as well but I don't want to live with Japanese people. Japanese people are annoying and it's why I have to watch all JAVs on mute.
>Inserts octopus into asshole
>Girl keeps screaming
>Sounds like a car burnout

>>10248191
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRRM4FWtAVc

Posting stuff that I haven't seen for a while at least.

>>10249973
I hate asian desserts.

>>10249946
This is neat but why do it for 100 days and not some arbitrary amount of time like 82 days 12 hours?

>>10249850
>Congratulation, you are the 1 Millionth Poster to make that joke. You win nothing. Kill yourself.

>>10248031
Je ne comprend pas

>>10248031
Why does the boy have a weaker jaw than the girl?

>>10248937
Working fast food makes the world a worse place.

>>10250040
chill winston

>>10250138
and here i thought seaweed came from the sea

>>10249536
for you

>>10250062
honestly I've never really gotten the point of burrata

>>10250174
cheeseception

>>10250054
Is that the hairy bikers?

>>10250097
Because of all the soy he eats.

>>10250182
I mean like I saw a pizza place had it as an ingredient on a pizza once and I was like "oh so it's like having normal cheese on your pizza except now your crust is soggy got it"

I guess you are supposed to eat it with bread?

>>10250194
shut it

>>10249351
>>10249355
These look good. I liked that there was a bit of behind the scenes at the end.

>>10248781
>tfw vet tech and monitoring a dog is taken more seriously than monitoring a human

>>10249973
I dont know even a quarter of the ingredients. Are those regular asian food stuff or just fancy shit?

>>10250306

GF is a veterinarian, blows my mind how much money anesthesiologists make since they fuck up so often yet my gf can do anesthesiology on such a wide range of species... plus do every other kind of medical work for that wide range of species at the same time. She doesn't make nearly as much money as an MD but I guess that's free market since nobody would pay nearly as much for medical treatment on a dog as they would a human (especially when there's mandatory healthcare so the hospitals can charge the government and insurance companies however the fuck much they want.)

>>10248191
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJwyjWpP4XA

>>10250460
post gf's feet

>>10248781
>I have no idea how malpractice works in certain cases

Well if it helps for the future, this is textbook malpractice. I would have taken everyone to the fucking cleaners for such a massive fuck-up if I was one of the parents.

>>10248111

damn I always get the crave for an egg sandwich after this gets posted

>>10250174
gotta eat it freshly made, by itself. max 2 days after it's done, and even then it's not the same. A good burrata doesn't go on anything, especially pizza (as you said, it becomes a soggy mess), it's a waste.

>>10250016
that's carpaccio, not tartare.

i actually had a corned beet reuben that was pretty decent from this vege food truck. i absolutely refused to get it vegan, fuck that fake cheese and fake mayo bullshit.

>>10250010
looks like an absolutes£op of shit

>>10250016
>Carefully as distribute sauce dots
>Slap shit down on top of it

Anyone else really hate all these top down recipe webms?

>>10248937
God damnit... Got me.

>>10251036
What angle would you prefer?

>>10248960
Sorry I didn't realize, how do I edit my post?

>>10250004
That looks too easy. Gonna try anyway.

>>10248111
ive actually made one of these "bread omelettes" and its pretty good
>>10249963
persian food is pretty good
>>10250077
"thatll be 6$ plus tip!!!"
>>10251092
egg must be rubbery as fuck

How long can you survive eating only eggs?

anyone know a good source for videos about
weird food
food machines
hipster food
hot girls eating

i will make webms

>>10250138
What is that brown powder they always put on top?
It's not ginger, is it powdered fish?

>>10251150
Youtube

>>10248781
Whenever I read a story like that I wonder why people responsible worry about lawsuits. Shouldn't they worry more about being hunted down and put down like mongrels that they are?

>>10251150
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFdVdnqPnDA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rmmRx6-360
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwB76h1XZWg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUwaH5xAXS4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN6an4DZ6cs

>>10249655
Why repeat the entire thing 4 times in one clip if it's essentially same process, just slightly different seasonings?
Also, what's the fucking point of making a nut milk in the first place if you're going to strangle the delicate taste of nuts with vanilla and cocoa?!

>>10250016
>Drown it in handle of olive oil

I can only imagine the shits after that

>>10251242
Haute cuisine was a mistake.

>>10251244
The miracle is that anyone would pay for this morsel.

>>10248229
lold

>>10251283
lol

>>10249351
>>10249355
Best post we've had in these threads for a while now.

>>10251283
>>10251297
lawl

>>10250011
Why do it for 82 days 12 hours and why not some arbitrary time like 100 days?

>>10248890
Looks fake as fuck.
That kid was just wandering the console menus when the anime shirt guy came in - why the hell would they be recording? Plus the kid reacted too quickly

>>10251356
you look fake as fuck

>>10251407

>>10251423

ok nvm

someone post chocolatemilk.webm

>>10251515

something doesnt look right about that rice

>>10251555
goddammit i cant figure out how to get rid of the black bars and green line at the botton

>>10251560
haha fail

>>10251092
How did those eggs heat the pan for the rice?

>>10251263
It's just a parody, but I'm sure plenty of people would.

>>10248031
How do i get a cute deaf japanese gf?

>>10248111
i don't get it, it's literally just bread with fried egg on it
no wonder he looks incredibly depressed

>>10248236
oh hell naw

>>10251555
it's red rice

>>10248914
nice buffering faggot

>>10249530
What in the FUCK is in the pan before the egg goes in?

>>10248191
Within 50 years there will be a machine like that for humans

>>10251612
There already is. It's called globalization.

fat american bothers japanese patrons

>>10251610
Oil

>>10251118
>persian food is pretty good
when i see these food stands on the streets i always salivate like crazy but i have to remind myself that spending the next two days trapped on the toilet in horrible pain isn't worth it

>>10248191
God I wish that was me

>>10251638

>>10251113
Remember anon, you're reducing vinegar. Guests and neighbors will smell it for days unless you have an actual external-vent fume hood.

>>10249131
Canada

>>10251638
Honestly after everything the thing that fucks me up the most is cutting the onion with a plastic butter knife. This looks like it was done in a prison.

>>10249980
hot

>>10251159
that's racist - they don't just eat powdered fish you know

>>10251638
seriously looks like it could be prison food

>>10249094
t. Mutt

>>10248464
What country?

>>10251515
thiz?

>>10249351
>mayonnaise

>>10248111

What the fuck was he doing putting a whole pot of eggs dry on to the burner at the end?

https://youtu.be/B9ahyPmDb7c

>>10248908
Two dudes just happened to have a recording device focused on the door while they were getting super excited about the PS4 menu, but then a frail old man walked in with a sledgehammer and with a weak brush of his arm managed to knock a full grown man over before smashing the PS4 which was conveniently in range of the recording device.

Totally real, brah.

>>10251877
>ps4 has just been released
>dumb kids excited to try it out
>decide to make a video, maybe to upload it
I don't even know the story behind it, but it's not hard to think of any number of reasons they would be recording.

>>10249946
I love steaks, I'm a butcher for christ's sake, but seeing this and realizing all an aged steak is just a mummified beef subprimal kinda wigs me out

>>10251591
meme it hard enough and i'm sure the millennials would love it

>>10251885
The placement of the camera is far too convenient and the fact that they they would willfully upload the video afterward to showcase the event just screams "fake"

>>10251895
>"muh millennial boogeyman"
>meanwhile Gen Z retards are eating tide pods

>>10250313
if I had to guess, it's probably a south-east asian dessert, fro Thailand, the Philippines, or Malaysia

>>10251902
you just screams "fake"

>>10251908

>>10251244
>that'll be $299 plus tip sir

>>10251902
why wouldn't they upload it? it's way more interesting than the video they intended to make

>>10249423
The one on the left looks pretty happy eating that.

>>10248462
It's not
>>10249131
It's not

I don't think they fired him but he definitely got in trouble for it.

>>10252023
fucking snow niggers

>>10252023
did she die?

>>10251764
>>10251795
its a prison style burrito you mongs. inmates usually get the ingredients from commissary or from hookups they got in the kitchen. his shirt says "con body" and hes black so its obviously prison food.

>>10252040
you kidding? theyre russians, they dont just die from a punch

>>10251828
>nesquik instead of milo

>>10251795
>>10251764
That's because it is prison food

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sv4nb5VbAY

>>10251764
that's the point.

>>10252064
amazing theme song

>>10249980

damn

>>10250848
>A good burrata doesn't go on anything

it's fantastic in a caprese. i agree putting it on pizza is stupid tho.

>>10251828
what the fuck is this?

>>10252187
It's porn. Someone found the source and posted it in an earlier webm thread too.
xvideos:
/video31826903/redhead_chloe_morgane_camille_crimson_doggy_style_sex_and_creampie

>>10251992

lmao

>>10248191
>Mr. Krabbs Wild Ride

>>10249946
this is interesting. I thought it would have gone rotten and inedible

is the room special or something?

>>10250068
I can only see all the the meat that was missed and I can't help thinking to myself.. "You have Chowder on the menu?"

>>10248205

just make the fucking kebab dickhead

>>10248205
The dude in the red shirt wrapped it faster

>>10250101
why is it "chinese"? because hes cutting dogs meat?

>>10251159
I think it's usually dried scallop.

>>10252759
I sometimes watch the live lobsters in H mart jostle for breathing space. It's the saddest thing in the world

>>10252748
I keep waiting for an Uruk-hai to emerge.

>>10250011
100 days is unusually long, apparently it starts to get a bit like blue cheese by that point. Normally it's more like 4-6 weeks.

>>10252805
>henckels cleaver

huh never seen that before

>>10251992
Kek

>>10248198
That didn't look that bad until he put in on the baking sheet. Dem knife skills doe

>>10248236
>no breading
>not removing the legs and adding them to the thoraxes and abdomens later to avoid overcooking

>>10252889
Too slow.

>>10250040
i make nut milk all over your moms face and titties

>>10249552
they do it for free

>>10252966
is the dough reinforced with glass fibers or what?

>>10248191
RULES OF NATURE

>>10252974
Is that chicken ass?

>>10253043
Yeah.

>>10252300
It's cooled, and there is practically no moisture in there.

>>10252965
so that's how they mass produce those for how much they use them in whiskey bars or whatever

>>10251113
The fuck are you talking about? Bearnaise is easy to make. I can do it from scratch in one pot, and on direct heat.

>>10249946
i was expecting the salt douche to slice it up, throw it on a grill and do the faggot salt on the forearm thing

>>10253103
>salt douche
lmao

>>10253103

>>10252859
I love the taste of sebum in my whisky.

>>10253128
no gloves?

>>10253149
they washed their hands

>>10253149
gloves throw them off, you need to be able to feel the sandwiches

>>10248191
My local kinoplex has that

>>10252843
Are there people left in the western world who doesn't know how to use chopsticks?

>>10248464
I unironically believe you

>>10253242
Yes. We call them flyovers.

>>10253128
Made me depressed.

>>10253262
Angry coastie detected.

How much do you love waffles /ck/?

https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1520448628037.webm

>>10253184
But human oils and sweaty palms

>>10249924
holy shit.
That music.

>>10253367
It's premade sandwiches anon, not exactly fine dining

>>10252966
how does he get out wihtout breaking the eggs

>>10253562

>>10252842
kek, first thing I noticed too. That shit looks german. You just don't expect something like that.

>>10250197
It is great in a salad but as the main component like caprese not like garden salad with a huge thing of burrata on it. Or on a cheese course if the burrata are small enough. I would never put it on pizza that's just retarded really it's soft mozz and like the anon said if it isn't less than a few hours old maximum it is usually not a good product.
It's pretty easy to make though so restaurants will make it fresh before service then it can be really delicious and creamy.

>>10250850
Some shitty carpaccio, I always see it made with a pmos frozen and then put through the slicer, that looks like meat scraps in a tortilla maker. Not taretare though since it is just meat without capers or anything else like raw onions.

>>10251092
I mean the presentation is cute but nothing about that looks like it would actually taste good. Also they should have left a few things of rice white and made a Panda bear but that's just my opinion.

I can do it from scratch, on direct heat, while juggling 3 knives.

>>10250313
they're mostly just beans and seeds cooked in sugar with coloring
it tastes better than it sounds

>>10253096
I can do it from scratch, on direct heat, while juggling 3 knives.

>>10250010
why the fuck is this even a video
who they hell thinks putting action shots on an inanimate fucking object is a good idea

>>10251555
>Rubbery eggs
Are Asians this retarded at something that is cooking 101 for every other culture?

>>10253562
He has sex with your mother

>>10253808

>>10251640
>Motionsickness.webem>>10251646

>>10252859
>thanks but i said neat

>>10251828
Really good cinematography for crappy porn with a plain Jane actress

>>10248031
post gifs too, these shitty webbums don’t work in safari

>>10252023
>Flicks a lit match at his face
Fucking cunt got what she deserved

>>10253846
>safari
theres your problem fucktard

>>10248111
How does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>>10252300
Yeah the room is 0% moisture and cold but not refrigerator temps. Also the outer part of the meat forms a sorta dried crust that's cut off before it's cooked so the only enzymes and bacteria in the meat when it's aged are the ones already present in the meat to begin with. Similar to a cheese with a hard rind.

>>10253035
MOGGED

>>10253846
Install Gentoo

>>10252966
>That bamboo shoot probably reeks of sweaty taint
>Let's use it on the dumpling batter
Asians really don't have any sense of sanitation do they?

>>10252746
Whats happening here? I cant read korean.

>>10253344
You just know she is going to grow up to be a crazy bitch

>>10253962

>>10253970

>>10248198
>Not frying the curried chicken bits in Ghee

Confirmed for shit taste.

>>10253825
>Like chewing on a cheesy oily tire

>>10249916
>I have to watch all JAVs on mute.
>>Inserts octopus into asshole
>>Girl keeps screaming
>>Sounds like a car burnout
i'm dieing so true mang.

>>10250199
>shut it
Found the soyboy

>>10254090
found the memespouting redditor idiot

>>10252759
BLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB

>>10254056
>>10254090
Fuck off.

>>10253840
Geese and especially swans are NOT to be fucked with. I kayak and fish a lot and god damn they can be mean as fuck. Ain't scurred of nothin'!

>>10249351
I know mayonnaise acts as a binder, but for gods sake wtf

>>10252843
>for muh Asian cuisines

>>10249467
brick?

>>10253866
She's fuckin' dead