/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10246115
You want to choke someone out because they asked if it was bacon? Get help you fuckin loser.

>>10246115
>I want to wring her neck sometimes
Seems a bit extreme. Why so hostile?

Or you could fuck with her and give an obviously bullshit answer, maybe even string her along if she's stupid. "nope, it's this new bacon substitute. You know the people ICE rounds up? Yeah, they don't get deported"

>>10246119
Maybe he's just into that sort of thing.

>>10246115

I actually had to stop my roommate from trying to wash her hand with vinegar after spilling Clorox on it. Apparently Fight Club is still a thing and she was worried about chemical burns.

>>10246136
cringe

>>10246146
I'm not the one who wants to strangle his roommate for noticing bacon

>>10246115
I dont get it desu. You must have autism to think we know what you're implying.

>>10246115
This is how women indirectly ask for something (in this case, a piece of bacon) and results in sex you autist

>>10246154
both are virgin cringe tier

>>10246115
I don't get it.

Do you dislike that she takes an interest in you? Are you that gay? 'Yeah it's bacon, how do you like it?'

>>10246195
>and if anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen!

>living with a female roomate

At least tell me you are fucking her OP. At least pay her in bacon.

>>10246136
This is now a Snappy Answers For Stupid Questions Thread

"No, it's, uh... not... bacon... YOU DUMB BITCH"

>>10246168
Ain't nobody getting some of my bacon wtf

>>10246196
kek

>>10246115
Should have said "nope, it's fryin'."

A sense of humor like that gets penises sucked. You missed your chance.

I don't have a roommate, sometimes I want to kill myself though

>>10246115
could have been pork belly desu

also because youre autismal let me explain something. people ask questions like this not because they actually dont know but because they are interested and would like to share an experience or knowledge with you and the question is just a formality to initiate. but by all means, continue sperging out inside and then go to sleep with loneliness still somehow being a mystery to you

none of you understood the autism of OP's post

the roommate was asking about the bacon as a typical female way of expecting an offer for some

OP is a fatass that didn't want to spare any of his bacon

>>10246317
he paid for the bacon and it's his right to have it all, especially when the woman won't just directly ask to have some

>>10246317
That's ridiculous. It's 2018. In the interests of inclusiveness, white women have all embraced Islam and its dietary restrictions.

>>10246317
>>10246167
That's what I was trying to find out but OP is too autistic to respond.

>>10246115
>it's bacon
No, it's fryin.

>come home late
>smell food
>whatever
>turn on light
>cast iron pan is soaking in sink

I was able to save it but i had to strip it and reseason from the beginning. Kicked him out a few months later.

>>10246168
how can you tell if you're losing bacon for nothing or if you will get sex

>>10246356
Just fuck her while she's distracted with a mouthful of bacon and hope for the best.

>>10246364
The only bacon going in her mouth is this 7 inch piggy wiener.

>>10246339
fucking carlos

>>10246338
>OP about to respond to everyone
>roomate walks in and says "are you posting on /ck/?"
>he finally snaps

>>10246115
can I bring her neck, too? but in a kinky way?

god I miss my gf

>>10246339
kek

>>10246407
what u mean

>>10246339
I chuckled

>>10246466
I meant to say wring

I want to live inside Pupinia’s asshole

>>10246364
>>10246393
Her mouth may say no but if her eyes scream yes then youre good to go

>>10246364
>>10246393
>>10246553
It occurred to me how autistic OP is, so I thought I'd make it clear I was joking. Don't rape anyone, OP. It's only funny when it doesn't really happen.

>>10246115
>roommate walks into the kitchen and stares at me cooking bacon and says “is that bacon?”
What's wrong with this. That's a perfectly fine way to start a conversation.

>>10246115
>me bacon
>roommate asken if i bacon
>me angry
>someday i kill

It's like Irish Stew Guy copypasta, but short.

>want to fuck my roommate but I'm a shy girl and I don't know how to break the ice
>see him cooking, I'm always turned on by men cooking and he's hot as fuck, my vagina is already leaking
>begin spilling spaghetti from pockets, what if he doesn't like me?
>try anyway "h-hello anon, i-is that bacon?"
>"FUCK OFF YOU BITCH GO AWAY!"
I'm still crying, men are the worst.

>>10246594
the fact that you can tell it's bacon just by fucking looking at it.
a literal "here's your sign" moment

>>10246168

Cannot stand this technique.
It's in the same category of them saying they'll make x/y for dinner and you go "okay cool, well I'm making z" and they instantly decide they want your food instead.

I don't mind cooking for a partner or whatever, just be upfront with it and don't just jump to my ship because it's easier ya fucks.

>>10246629
It's literal child behavior.
Don't get me wrong, being an autist has its own demons, but it gets tiresome being considered rude because you expect an adult individual to not act like a kid when it comes to conversations.

>What's your name?
>Anon
>Is it short for Anonymous?
>It's short for "My name is Anon and I would like to be referred to as such even if Anon were short for Anonymous (which it is not in this case).

>That looks good.
>Yeah, 'x' place isn't half bad.
>Yeah, it looks really good. I wish I had some.
>You have a job and 'x' is 10 minutes away: this problem has a solution.

>I'll make the salad if you cook the-
>You're better off just asking me to cook for both of us than trying to pass off such a lopsided deal as you actually contributing to the meal in any meaningful way, particularly when store bought salad mixes are better executed than the unwashed lettuce bowl you're about to toss together.

But I'm the asshole

>>10246621
you just redpilled me big time.
all those times, if only I had known...
sincerely, fuck you.

>>10246642
don't worry anon at least you'll die alone

>>10246218
>Al Jafee
Holy shit who taught the nursing home about /ck?

>>10246143
I sit like this all the time so people don't get suspecious.

>>10246642
>store bought salad mixes are better executed than the unwashed lettuce bowl you're about to toss together
Why do you visit a food and cooking board when you're not interested in food or cooking?

>>10246642
>But I'm the asshole
yeah I got that impression about you

>>10246115
My mexican demon seed would taint her.

TFW your the normal one and all these office drones are coffee degenerates.

>roommates wonder how we produce so much garbage
>Only eats canned soups
>Only eats frozen processed food
>Everything they eat is packaged
>How do we make so much garbage?

>Roommates use dishes
>Proceed to put used dishes directly into the sink
>Dishes aren't scraped
>Come home to clogged sink full of rotten food and grease

>>10246836
I guess this is better than roommate hoarding all the forks and plates in his room

>>10246836
>Dishes in the sink
This is the worst. I would rather the dishes were just kept stacked on the side than in the sink. I can get by not using a bit of countertop, but I obviously have to use the sink so now I have to get moist crumbs and pools of oil on my hands.

>>10246853
It would be fine too, but they will sometimes fill the sink with cold water to "soak" the dishes.
>>10246850
Ive been missing a silver fork for months, can't find it anywhere, and I'm missing a gilded plate.

>>10246115
>nah it's frying you stupid bitch

>>10246853
>roommate fills sink with dishes
>complains because a single potato skin fell into a glass he had placed in the sink

She probably wanted some of your bacon OP. I'm glad you didn't budge, unless she's a qt. Women are covert, they'll see you cooking bacon and instead of saying "Could I have some?" They'll talk around the bacon until you give her some.

>"Is that bacon?"

>>10246976
I think compliments to the bacon would be better.

>That bacon looks good

>>10246976
>>10246980
that's when you say
>would you like some?
yes please
>fuck off it's mine

>>10246117
>obviously bacon
>ask if it's bacon
Fucking white people

>>10246992
>Implying you could tell the difference between bacon and facon
There is zero difference in taste, smell, texture, nothing.

My roommate makes me sit down to piss because apparently it 'splashes'. She listens at the door to make sure, and if she hears splashing she comes in and literally slaps my penis or my bum and starts shouting at me. Last time she did this I was still pissing and piss got all over the floor and neither of us cleaned it up for like a week until I caved. Now I just lay my penis in the sink because then I can stand up like a man and it's silent so she won't hear.

She's a good cook though lol.

>>10247014
Tell her she has to shit standing up. If you hear a splash, go in an punch her in the cunt.

>>10247014
that sounds kinda kinky. kinky makes up for looks to an extent. as long as she's at least a 4/10 your situation is enviable

>>10247014
This is a good pasta.

>>10247014
I piss in the sink too just wash my hands after and rinse the sink

>>10246115

former roomies insisted on using virgin olive oil for everythin, and I do mean everything.

cooking a steak? Olive oil. Stir fry? Olive oil. Mayo? Olive oil.

I remember asking them one time and got something like "I like the taste and it's healthier"

>>10246710
they know, everyone does

>>10246115
You will keep Pupinia away from the filth.

>>10247095
Everyone does this you pleb.
Except I'd have used sesame oil in the stir fry.

>>10247125

you use olive oil in mayo?

>>10247130
I like the taste and it's healthier

>>10246115
Post roommate’s feet

>>10246115
Post her feet.

>>10246119
He's a meat eater. They are always overly aggressive with their emotions. It comes from all the nitrates and being unable to manage their blood glucose levels.

>>10246693
Lots of kids used to read vintage mad magazines.

>have a gril roommate
>actually ex gf of years recently broke up
>after break up decide to self improve including cooking more
>get new and better gf in every way
>new gf loves that i cook
>majority of dates is stay in nights with me making dinner while ex is at work
>she loves it
>make meals for her that i personally don't like but not picky
>leftovers.png
>offer roommate dinner when she returns from work
>she likes it too
>notices its chicken alfredo
>knows I hate alfredo
>puts 2 and 2 together
>begins tirade of passive aggressive fits
>just got to wait out this lease.mov

It was a long couple of months anons. Could of hooked up again several times but was never interested in the old rag after getting the new girl and i swear it's all over cooking.

>>10246575
This post makes me feel good

>>10246960
I peel potatos directly into my roommates dishes they leave in the sink for literal weeks. He said "hey you know you should try not to do that". lmao

>>10246339
Too late, Carlos. See >>10246267
>>10246836
>>How do we make so much garbage?
At this point, many stores even pack tomatoes and carrots in a plastic tray with a plastic foil all around. I just want some vegetables, not several cubic meters of your plastic waste
>>10247014
High class literature
>>10247144
>>10247145
What kind of hivemind shit is this

>roommate is p cool guy
>gets sick
>sort of letting himself go
>dishes pile up everywhere
>sink is clogged right up to the faucet with dirty dishes
>sit there for two days
>clean my shit in the bathroom sink
>leave for one night
>"I swear if all that shit's still in the sink tomorrow I'm going ballistic"
>come back the next day
>he cleaned all the shit in the sink
>it's already filled to the brim with new dishes
>mfw

>>10247211
Shut the fuck up before I find you and wring your neck, you slut.

>>10246642
>But I'm the asshole
Atleast you're self aware anon.

>>10246196
based beta brian

>roommates with my brother and some dude I used to hang out with before he turned into a massive punk faggot
>im the only one who does the dishes and cleans the kitchen
>only time they do anything is when I tell them to , and even then none of the dishes are cleaned correctly
>decide I give up and stop doing the dishes
>come home from work to pic related

>>10246119
A sign of low intellect Anon. His mind just can't fathom even the most basic of questions. This sets off a chain reaction inside OPs brain. Serotonin is released and his blood pressure spikes, as his body thinks he's under attack and goes on the counter offensive, thus causing OP to act and behave aggressively.

If it wasn't for the fear of retribution, OP would have clubbed his roommate by now, and he probably wishes he could club you too.

>>10246117
I'll wring your neck too, motherfucker.

>>10247486
>used to live in a house with 4 other guys with no dishwasher
>stop doing the dishes for them and move out
>come back two months later to get something I forgot
>dishes from two months ago are still sitting in the sink

>>10247534
Jesus fuck how do these types of people live with themselves

>>10246115
Maybe your bacon just sucks, and you failed to understand the intonation, you god damn autist.

>>10246115
underaged, cute and wholesome
I like it

>>10247211
This.

>>10246642
1st question: Yeah, but I rather like Anon, what's yours?

2nd question: We could go right now.

3rd question: All right.

It's not that difficult to be a high-functioning autist, you know.

>>10247899
>whoring herself on the internet for attention
>wholesome

>>10246642
Just be assertive about what you want, bitchboy.

>>10246136
you should team up with the guy who had a whole food comedy standup routine for the grocery store

>>10248019
fuck you
she is wholesome faggot

>>10246115
You fucking autist

>>10246853
Basically every single one of my university dorm roommates did that to some extent. As long as it's just 1-2 plates and some cutlery, it's okay. But I hate it when the sink is so filled up that I can't wash my own dishes there.
Also none of them would clean any mess they did in the kitchenette right away, when it's easiest. Bit of sauce spilled on the stove? Too much hassle to wipe it with a sponge rag (which was never further than 2 feet away FFS!), so the stove got so much caked-in goop that they had to clean it with hydrochloric acid at the end of school year in order to check out of the room... I mean, I'm a lazy fuck, which is why I DO clean most of the stuff right away, cause doing it later makes it pile up and be more difficult and annoying.

>>10248268
Also had a roomie at the dorm who would borrow my dishes for cooking sessions with his stoner friends when they got the munchies and then just completely forget it...
>Hey, fuckface, are you gonna bring back my pot?
>Yeah, sure, I'll bring it back this evening.
...a week later:
>Hey, I kinda need that fucking pot you borrowed a fucking week ago!
>Yeah mate, sure, errr, I kinda don't know where it is but it's okay, peace!
He wasn't mean, just way too easy-going. Being stoned half of the time didn't help him, either.
This is a nice present he left in the fridge before going home for a month around Christmass.
Originally a half-eaten can of peas. When I found it I wasn't sure if I should burn it with fire, or make it a lair out of old blanket and adopt it.

>>10248383
what's in this can?

>>10248398
read the FUCKING post you retard adhd child

>>10248398
It's a mold that developed in an opened can of peas he left in the fridge and didn't bother to throw away before leaving for a month. Very hairy mold. The "fur" filled the can from about half all the way up to the lid.

>>10248398
R E T A R D
E
T
A
R
D

>>10246115
She's just being nice, you fucking autist

>>10248441
this,
breaking the ice after realizing youre too autistic to notice the interest or confusion in what youre doing

>>10248019
Kys, she is obviously wholesome, Jealous roastie get aids

>>10247014
This is a copy pasta

>>10247014
Fake and gay but I wish it were me.

>>10246115
she is a nice pretty lady(male). :3

>roommate walks into the kitchen and stares at me cooking a grilled cheese sandwich and says “is that a grilled cheese sandwich?”
oh man, I want to wring her neck sometimes

>>10246115
You know OPs roommate tells her girlfriends about how she tries to be nice to him but he is just an abrasive dick all the time, it never stops. I'll bet it makes her a little sad about how miserable and angry you are all the time.

>Pic related how I imagine OP looks to see if his roommate is in the kitchen so he can avoid more human contact

>roommate walks into the kitchen and stares at me eating a Cheesy Gordita Crunch, a Burrito Supreme, Nachos, a Crunchy Taco and a Baja Blast and says “is that a Cheesy Gordita Crunch, a Burrito Supreme, Nachos, a Crunchy Taco and a Baja Blast?”
oh man, I want to wring her neck sometimes

>>10246820
>>10247457
Found the women. Try having conversations like adults.

>>10249579
>Found the women
maybe after another solid 10 years of virginity you will locate their sex organs as well

>>10249588
sassy! Post feet?

>>10249604
This.

>>10249579
c-c-can we ask for tits?

>>10249588
>maybe after another solid 10 years of virginity you will locate their sex organs as well
ICE BURN

>>10246642
The smelliest assholes are the self-righteous ones

>>10246575
>>10247398

holy cringe you faggot niggers

>>10246575
Upboated

>roommate walks into the kitchen and stares at me cooking a batch of crystal meth and says “is that a batch of crystal meth?”
oh man, I want to wring her neck sometimes

>>10246115
>girl roomate
I hope you guys sex

>roommate walks into the kitchen and stares at me making a pressure cooker bomb and says "is that a pressure cooker bomb?"
oh man, I want to stone her sometimes

>>10249588
feet please you whore

>>10246827

VERY sarcastic, VERY whimsical. A+ mug. Primetime.

>>10247144
>>10247145
feetmind

>>10246575
Now I know why holocaust jokes are so funny

>>10250544
Heh

>>10250544
holocaust jokes are not funny it was a very bad event where over 6 million jews were brutally murdered

>>10250592
You're allowed to laugh at fictional tragedy.

>>10250592
they were turned into lamp shades and candles.

>>10250592
Actually it was 6 trillion Jews you antisemite

>>10247095
was your roommate gordon ramsay?

>>10250680
Jamie Oliver

>>10247419
Good guy feels

>tfw iam ultra lazy peace of shit and trash literally amiunts to a little mountain in my room ( i atleast put all trash onto the mountain so the rest is ok)

Welp atleast i do a full cleanout every month.

>>10247332
your ex gets passive aggressive because you made a meal with your gf that you don't particularly like?

>>10247095
>Stir fry? Olive oil
This is the only bad one. Olive oil is fine for most recipes.

>>10247534
that people like this exist dims my hope in the possibility of a working republic

>>10250592
I wish Hitler had actually killed as many jews as you kikes claim he did

>>10250785
Plz no bully anon. Patricians prefer Stalin.

>>10247014
>when penis inspection day follows you home

>>10247332
Tell her to stop acting like a 2 year old.

>>10247543
The same types that see "if you're messy it means you're a genius!" Videos on Facebook and believe them

>>10250889
But then she'll lose her sex appeal.

>>10248383
That's the thing, a small percentage of cunts gives stoners and hippies a bad name but when they do they just seem to go the extra mile.
>Working on a hostel while traveling, smoking, skiing etc
>Coworkers are good mix of people, hippies straight laced types, the lot.
>New hire is a giga-hippie vegan lesbian masseuse #vanlife type that gives normal hippies a bad name
>Like non stop taking about vibes and chakras and free love and just like do whatever
>Is a really hard worker so whatever
>Start getting complaints about stuff going missing
>One day cleaning a room with her she "finds" several small baggies of coke that "fell" out of a guests bag
>"Lol what are they going to do, go to front desk and say their cocaine is missing?"
>We always "find" the most free stuff for lost and found box when she's on the clock
>She puts her name on 80% of the shit too, so she gets out after the one month wait
>One day notice she's making lunch using food from the guests fridges and food boxes
>"Lol nobody 'owns' food, it's a natural cycle of nature and we need to encourage society to share everything
>Gets fired
>Turns out she never went to the store and bought her own groceries once in 4 months
Apparently she used to be a school teacher but never said why she quit.

>>10249777
based heaven trips speak the truth

>>10247543
It's easy. And there's more time to do it in, too.

>>10250746
Probably it's because he never cooked for her (or at least not so often/not so tasty), so the logic goes "You didn't care for me as much as you do for her, REEE".
Truth be told post-breakup changes CAN be used offensively. My old ex once dyed her hair a particular shade of red that I found to look amazing and sexy on her. Refused to do it again afterwards, said she didn't like it so much herself. Apparently changed her mind a couple of days after we broke up.

>>10246196
If you say it in a Chad tone you'll get to stuff your bacon in her.

>>10246992
racist pos

>>10246992

>being this subhuman
Fucking negroid people

>>10246115
She's making excuses to interact with you, she wants to sleep with you

>>10246115
>year ago
>be me
>24 living on my own finally working wageslave retail job
>living in one apartment with friend
>know each other for like 15 years
>hes a fag
>we were both vidya addicted NEETs so dirty sloths too
>one day I see cup half filled in a sink
>"fck it its not mine"
>let it sit there for 4-5 days
>my gf fianlly comes over
>"oh shit need to clean up and wash the dishes"
>wash all the dishes
>its time for the cup
>sniff it
>its piss
>its piss that has been fermenting in our sink for days

Fuck him.
He also took showers like once a week and used dry shampoos.

>>10249579
Found the socially inept retard. Try controlling your autism.

>>10249588
This.

>>10246827
Now that's a (s)mug if I've ever seen one.

>>10246115
>makes thread complaining about tiniest little thing

I think I'd take your roommate over your easily perturbed ass, OP. Living with you must be like a nightmare.

>>10246115
I understand that this whole thread is meant to be some wierd lite-bait, but who is girl in pic? She is cute with bleach and awkward group on phone

>>10247899
Never trust any girl won who takes a selfie to be wholesome

>>10255160
pupinia stewart.

>>10246342
Its a shame you didnt murder him

>>10246144
I do this why is this bad?

>>10246836
Moved into my own place as soon as I could. I go vist poor friends living 3 to a 1 bed appartnent and laugh at how trasy their place is. I have a 2 bed room appartment. One room is empty. Friends ask to sublese my empty room and I turn em down. You don't get to leech of me living cheap and eating my food. My cat deserves her own room. Dirty people deserve to suffer.

>>10246642
All of these are correct responses to this kind of attitude and you're perfectly right for not being a little pushover bitch anon

>>10246575

>>10257066
Post kitty pics

>>10256748
It produces chlorine gas.

>>10246992
this, fuck drumpf and fuck white people
wh*tes need to go back to their /pol/ safespace

>>10246168
this
you're supposed to go "do you want some?"

>>10250592
dont forget the holocauster goyim

>>10246642

>>10246621
why would you want to fuck a shy girl

also, pretending like things are ever this easy

>>10246168
you're 8 years old if you're playing, let alone entertaining those games

Grug roast hog leg in cave
Cavemate come back from hunt
Cavemate say "is hog leg?"
Grug angry now

>>10246143
My fucking sides went into orbit

Humans absolutely fucking suck and aren't worth knowing or interacting with. Half of them are straight morons who do the dumbest fucking shit ever and the other half are so far up their own ass they can't help but spew the vilest shit.
It won't happen in my lifetime but I can't wait for computers to take over the world so people like me can go to the store and not have to interact with a single organic being. Humans were a mistake.

>roommate’s fabric grocery bag sitting on floor for weeks
>go to look inside it
>as soon as I rustle the bag, thousands of fruit flies emerge from the bag at my face
>roommate forgot a bunch of tomatoes in the bag for weeks
>fruit flies in my eyes, nose and throat
>coughed up fruit flies and picked them out of my snot for the rest of the day

>>10247095
Olive oil tastes better than all the rest. I have flashbacks of my parents cooking using vegetable oil for everything. Can't eat anything cooked in it without puking anymore. Also my dad would use peanut oil for spaghetti.
Different oils for different types of food, but generally olive oil goes OK with most dishes. Wouldn't use it for asian dishes or for cooking fries, though. However, I do use olive oil for any recipe that calls for vegetable oil.

>>10247419
>cleaned all the shit in the sink just so he could have more room to pile in the new dishes

>>10249300
>try to be nice by being a retard
Let me tell you from experience that it only annoys people.

>lived with 3 dudes
>one of them constantly had his friends stay over
>the other would share his room with his gf for long periods of time
>none of them ever washed their dishes or utensils or take out the trash
>it's summer time in a really hot area and there are heaps of trash bags in the kitchen
>so many unwashed dishes they had to start piling them up around the sink because the pile in the sink was too big
>they wouldn't scrape the food off their dishes, including the ones that were at the bottom of the pile
>one day I come back from an exam and there's a note in the kitchen write on a ripped out cover of a notebook
>"Please make sure you clean your dishes to avoid bad smells"
>I've been using my own dishes and utensils which I stored away in my bedroom after using them and cleaning them ever since moving in
I had never been in such a dirty environment in my life, I moved out after the summer to an apartment with 3 dudes who already had a cleaning schedule and program with proper rotations and such, it felt great being back in a kitchen where you could smell what you were cooking.

My roommate never cooks cause he dislikes it.
So I always cook, he always does the dishes.
Feels good man.

>>10250913
Underappreciated.

>>10246621

pretty much how the world works

nice post

>>10248019
>dressed like your bro
>not making a stupid face
are you really even able to live without a brain?

>hate my roommate
>randomly throw out his groceries, an apple here, a couple slices of deli meat there
fuck that guy

>>10246992
Juat trying to initiate a convo, fucking sperg

>roommate doesnt seem to eat much, have never seen him have an actual meal
>he has coffee and a protein bar for breakfast then disappears all day
>no arguments about dishes ever

im ok with this.

>>10249588
oof

>>10260551
>thinking with your dick
>getting deceived that easily
You don't even use the one you have

>>10258630
That’s not going to change though, you should calm down, save some money and kill yourself

>>10258332
>Implying most adults in the US don't have the social and personal development of an 8 year old in most other countries.
So it fits.

>>10246575

>>10260921

wow, heard of Canadian nice, but Canadian, not-nice?

ouch, only sad tears, will my poutine be seasoned with until this hurt goes away

>>10246143
>I sit like this all the time
>I'm sitting like this even right now

>>10260953
It's true man.
It is what happens when sexuality is the highest taboo.
We are more OK with our kids watching straight up murder than we are with them viewing human beings naked.

Leads to an unhealthy obsession later in life or altogether abandonment of social and personal development.

>>10249588
POST FEET NOW WHORE

>>10246115
>Roommate is a healthfag
>We go halves and buy pic related
>One morning i come out to the kitchen to make some orange and apple juice
>Roommate is using the juicer
>"Hey bro, I made us some potato juice"
>Hands me a glass of raw potato juice
>"Try it bro, try it bro"
>Tell him it looks disgusting and he has to clean the juicer because I want real juice.
>"Bro, I am heading out to work in 5 minutes, I won't have time bro"
>He leaves me with the juicer that is covered in semi dried potato juice
Got to say we only lasted 3 months before we got into a fight and ended it, never have a /fit/fag for a roommate.

>>10261098
>>We go halves and buy pic related
Dammit, forgot pic

>>10261098
>Got to say we only lasted 3 months before we got into a fight and ended it
You were in a relationship?

>>10261110
No, not a relationship but we lasted 3 months as roommates. He was a cunt so I moved out.

>>10261124
Were you also a cunt? Did you at least actually communicate your issues or get annoyed?

>>10261128
or just get annoyed*

>>10261128
No, he didn't clean, he ate my food, he bought friends around that would get drunk and stay up until 3 in the morning. A few of my things went missing too but I didn't think it was my roommate but his friends. He didn't have a lot of respect for my boundaries

>>10261156
Sounds fair enough then. But I do hope you at least told him of our concerns.

>>10261172
He was apologetic about the missing xbox games and controller however at the time I bought it up we were both drunk and there was miscommunication, hence the fight that made me decide to call it quits and move out.
We did talk it through eventually before I actually did move out and yea we are still friends.

>>10246992

>Girl tries to initiate a conversation with you, probably doesn't give a shit about what you're cooking; just trying to be polite and not awkward and quiet.
>OP decided to go crazy instead

>>10261202
If she used her nose she could have started the conversation with "hey anon, can I suck your dick for a piece of bacon?"

>>10261098
Isn't raw potato dangerous for consumption?

>>10260889
Already on it, boss.

>>10246115
How much orbiting do I have to do to make pupinia my gf?

>>10261202
Being retarded isn't how you talk to someone. Say something at least a little intellectually competent and maybe they could peak someone's interest for a conversation.

>>10261647
How he could even get a raw potato through the juicer without destroying it is an act of God

>>10246168
I'd rather have bacon than sex.

>>10261697
"Everyone needs to conform to my hyper-critical thinking, or else I condemn them to death."

Christ, she's at home trying to forget about the world. Who cares if some conversation you're going to forget about doesn't entertain you. Quit being self-centered and entertain the dialog. It's not like you're particularly occupied staring at a hot pan.

>>10261732
The problem is she is asking a dumb fucking questions instead of asking something that at least constitutes a fraction of something interesting. Ask stupid questions, get dumb answers. They teach this shit in elementary.

>>10261098
YOU HAVE TO DRINK ALL THE POTATO JUICE

>>10246487
wut

>>10261727
LOL, dude! 2009 was such a great year!

>>10246487
>>10262223

>>10262236
I feel like this isn't comedy which serves no purpose, but actually fetish material

>>10248383
Uh yeah that black mold causes lung problems and cancer, you know

>>10246115
Obviously with her bottle of XOROLC she's from the mirror universe and isn't used to this universe's ways and customs.

>>10260955
That reaction image has already been posted ITT

>>10246196

>>10246339
CARLOS

>>10246642
Wow, what a badass! I bet everyone you know is intimidated by your aggressive and up-front demeanor!

>>10246115
shes very wholesome

>>10262802
I'd like her to use a funnel and pour some bleach down my pee hole.

>>10262814
you've got issues

>>10262814
wholesome

>>10246168
>Being this much of a virgin

>>10246115
We don’t have to have roommates in first world countries. The literal state of mutts.

>>10247144
>>10247145
>>10249604
>>10249606
>>10249876
>>10261039
footfags leave

>>10246115
>give her bacon
>receive sex

If you aren't retarded you'll figure out how this works.

>>10246992
*inhales deeply*
WHYPIPO

>>10263038
Show feet first

>>10246642
10/10

>>10246339

>>10261202
>Girl tries to initiate a conversation with you, probably doesn't give a shit about what you're cooking; just trying to be polite and not awkward and quiet.
You're either a women or a soyboy, men don't think silences are inherently awkward or uncomfortable and feel the need to break the silence with vapid nonsense
>"Is that bacon?"
Is not a conversation starter it's just rhetorical drivel

>>10246642
>that last one

>But I'm the asshole
you're not wrong

>>10265390
to be fair, you need a pretty high IQ to understand numale bojack horseman cartoons

>>10246115
wholesome

>>10261775
No they don't. They teach that there's no such thing as a dumb question.

>>10247023

>>10249521
>roommate walks into the kitchen and stares at me cooking two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda and says is that two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

>>10246642
I agree with you anon

>>10246115
You're literally autistic

>>10246115
yeah bitch suck my dick and you can have some why are you such a sperg op you could have gotten your dick sucked

>>10246115
She's a female id strangle her for the nut bust.

>>10267923
>CRANK
don't do this to yourself, and to us

>>10249300
>if you aren't making retard normie talk you're mean and sad.
Fuck off this thread is annoying like most women.

>>10261697
>intellectually competent
>peak

Pick one, retard.

>>10246115
She looks wholesome

>>10246115
if she didn't look autistic
she would be very wholesome

>>10268014
Doing a fine shift with the wholesome comments anon.

>>10258323
How did that get so degraded?

>>10246864
>>10246864
>silver fork
>gilded plate

Whoa, make way for the King of Norway over here.

>>10247332
>goes out with a guy who lives with his fucking ex

Your gf is dumb and so are you for that matter.

>>10267981
what and you think most men aren't? get real.

>>10246115
wow, very wholesome

>>10246621
>implying you can trigger me with that post
this has literally never happened to me and is biologically, physically and philosophically impossible.

so wholesome

>>10246143
>sustain a high-torque grip on your trouser fabric

People who cook it and suddenly think they are a 5 star cook for throwing common shit ingredients into a pan without any regard for anything, and then juts stirring it until it, it, it. .. it fucking pisses me off