/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10245564
I work for McDonalds and spit into burgers if it's just me and my manager. I also intentionally give people less fries by spilling some in the bag to make people think that the fries spilled but will not add up to the full amount of which you paid for because fuck you guys who order all that shit at night, I'm tired and am not your fucking slave.

Where is the fat papist Wojak?

>>10245592
It's your own damn fault for ending up at mcdonalds in the first place.

>>10245592
Holy shit I thought it was just me who did this, at Taco Bell though

>>10245619

>>10245630
Right on brother

>>10245592
May Ronald McDonald have mercy on your soul.

>>10245564
>be working at Papa John's as a delivery driver
>always have fresh semen available in a bottle I keep it in
>when delivering to any place further than 5 mins, I take my time to spread the semen on the pizza
If anyone delivers pizza and want to do the same, make sure not to just drop it in as you can tell. You must smear it in and do not use old semen since it will stink to the accustomed whores and men.

>>10245564
I killed a man in Oxford...

>>10245564
I took a pill in Ibiza

I don't soak my beans

>>10245753
You fucking bastard. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

>>10245748
gay

>>10245753

I don't wash my rice and I regularly eat sandwiches that just consist of mayo, ketchup and several kraft singles

>>10245794
Georgia, but I did live in Ohio for a little bit

I really hate niggers. Every time they come in, they always try to make an excuse as to why they deserve free shit. The other day, one of them asked me for 3 apple pies and I told them it would take about 2 minutes for the next batch. She asked for the entire meal free "fo da inconvenyess" which I denied. She made a scene and demanded to see the manager, which she then proceeded to lie to about how I called her a nigger (which I didn't). Nobody else was in line at the time and heard the conversation to defend me. The manager (who is also a nigger) hates me and is pretty much looking for a reason to fire me now.

I go to bars dressed as a girl and fool neckbeards into buying me peach bellinis

>>10245857
Ha you deserved it for working for a nigger.

>>10245870
Do they ever take you home and destroy your boipussy?

>>10245884
Yes, I enjoy it.

>>10245678
>>10245592
>getting mad you actually have to do your job
do us all a favor and smash your testicles with a hammer and then eat a bullet to ensure you never breed.

>>10245917
why are you on /ck/? Go away.

>>10245983
Plz no bully, /ck/ is a board for all

>>10245996
Post boy pucci then

>>10245592
>not your fucking slave.
Yes you are, retard.

>>10246044
Wow why are you so mad. It's not like you'll get STD from my saliva wtf. I thought /ck/ was bully free zone?
>>10245996

>>10245564
I've had four and a half jobs for like three years trying to make scratch and finish school. I'm not destitute, but I am lean.

I rarely wash my hands at work and I do part time at a coffee shop and pick up shifts waiting tables once or twice a week and bar tend on Sundays at my skeeball place for some extra cash. I pick my nose and from time to time, I scratch my balls and enjoy the smell, especially when I biked to work on that day.

If we're talking about cooking, I love salt too much and over salt things commonly. For appearance only I'll act as if I like sweet and savory, for the sake of being "cultured", but honestly I hate sweetly cooked meat; it's dogshit.

I'm a legitimate homosexual.

>>10245592
I don't get this. I worked for McDonald's for two years and never acted that way. I work in a high end restaurant now and make good money. A job is a job. Don't be a piss baby because it's the only job you can get at the time. Work yourself up and go somewhere else. People in this industry will always be ass holes to you no matter the restaurant/bar.

>>10245996
Weak little faggot needs a cage for his microtestes?

I only eat instant rice at home. I just don't see the point of going through the trouble of cooking rice, or buying shit like basmati. It's only there so that I can pour stew over it.

>>10246535
Somebody’s on the rag

>>10246498
t. edgy underage

The employees at dominos pizza I work at have zero regard for food safety

Stay away from Dominos

>>10245564
I use bouillon cubes for soups instead of broth.

>>10245625
>>10245657
>>10245960
Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do NOT... fuck with us.

The only reason I've learned to cook is to impress people. I don't actually care about what I personally eat.

>>10249387
COMMUNIST!!!! I hope you get your legs broken by Pinkerton agents and go to debtor's prison.

>>10245592
can tell by your attitude and where you are now that you'll never climb higher. and that makes me happy and grateful for the decisions i've made thus far

stay low for me

>>10245564
I use truffle oil instead of truffles regularly in my cooking

>>10249413
>not getting the reference
You just be 18 to post here.

>>10249581
>Can't even form cogent sentences
You need to speak English to post here.

I would give away free food because I hated my boss
I liked to think of every little ding I made into his kids college fund...
damaged

>>10245847
>>10249435
My nigga

>>10249387
We are legion, expect us...in your food.

I'm illiterate. Never learned to read or write. It's my greatest shame.

>>10245856
Makes sense. Go back to fucking your cousin and collecting unemployment. Let real workers take your job

>>10247155
That's the opposite of "edgy underage" mentality dumbass.

>>10247198
Just as good as buying broth in a container and much less fucking idiotic.

Now, fresh broth...

>>10247155
Go back to >>>/r/eddit you meme spewing cretin

I intentionally do things people say never to do when it comes to combinations. Sometimes they come out amazingly. Rarely has it been inedible.

my burgers almost always have pink in the middle because I make them too thick so they can be big enough while fitting 4 in my pan

>>10249387
>hes too much of a pussy to take it out on the corporate structure
>just vents his frustration through petty shit at consumers

No one buying food from mcdonalds really has an easy life dog

>>10249801
Why do fat people always wear their watch practically on their hand, and bunch their horrid fat paws like that when taking wrist shots

>>10245564
I never buy fresh herbs always jarred. There is a minor taste difference but not enough to justify the extra cost and storage anxiety.

I use less water than directed for a more intense flavor.
crunchy vanilla pudding is a trip

I still don't know how to use a knife, and all I own is a paring knife, which I use for everything.

I always grab the biggest knife available.
I've cut myself more than once directly because of this.

>>10249387
>

Ass

>>10247198
Fucking animal

>>10249991
dude, youtube

>>10245592
this is the best post on /ck/ right now

I have schiziphrenia lol

When I worked at a deli, I made a variety of prepackaged sandwiches. In particular, we had regular chicken salad and vegan "chicken" salad. Well, one day I was in a rush to get them all made before my shift ended, and I accidentally knocked over the two pans with the salads, and wound up "contaminating" the vegan one with some of the chicken. I didn't pick it out either. All of the sandwiches sold, too, so someone out there got a meaty surprise :^)

>>10245564
I just ate some months-expired cereal with ants crawling through it.

>>10249387
dont worry I got the reference.

>>10249677
how did you make this post then silly?

>>10250579
I press buttons on my keyboard at random and keep getting really lucky because nobody`s caught on yet. I don`t even know what your post says, I`m just guessing.

>>10245917
I don't really see the problem, everybody seems to be having a good time.

Little Caesars is GOOD. I like the taste and the price

>>10250605
I'm laff

I unironically never cook anymore

Once boiled oats with yogurt and water because I didnt have milk
It was tolerable

>>10245564
I started working two years ago.
I've gotten to sous chef and people tend to like me and my ideas when it comes to cooking and the other senior chefs tell me that I've got a bright career in store.

But I have no passion. In cooking. In anything.

Mayo > Ketchup as a fry condiment, especially seasoned fries

>>10245564
I hate cutting/peeling garlic, so most of the time don't use them, unless they are integral for the recipe.

>>10245847
>I regularly eat sandwiches that just consist of mayo, ketchup and several kraft singles

>>10251112
anything > ketchup. It tastes like shit.

>>10251112
nothing wrong with this whatsoever
t. non-euro

>>10251112
pig

>>10245592
Dude I'm coming off an 11-hour shift and sometimes I just don't feel like cooking myself something. I just want to eat something and go to bed.

Not everyone is a silver spoon Boomer who wants to order late at night to antagonize you. I hope you die of AIDS.

>>10245592
You can't spit on my mcnuggies without me noticing bitch

I'll take my stupid order and get stale nuggets and soggy fries and be happy with it because that's the best I deserve ordering this shit at 2am

Theres this one employee who is a real bro and I just sat in drive through chatting with him for like 5 minutes Utes because it was just me and he was bored as fuck. He's a cool guy and he likes that I'm not an asshole to the employees

>>10245564
I use to love to cook/bake a lot,learn new recipes and techniques, and experiment/try new things.
I've stagnated and repeat a lot of the easy stuff.

I should try again.

>>10251450
I'm with you bro but that's why I don't go to the poorly reviews mcdonalds because it all comes down to management. Never go to any fast food in the ghettos and never go to any that are isolated from main areas; exception being highways that are used frequently day and night. Some of those are pretty good as there are no other jobs around so it's probably competitive.

I used to think that well done steak was the business when I was like 15/16. I'm now 26 and believe me, I've seen the errors of my ways.

I used to order all of my steak well done with a side of tomato sauce.

At one point to try and impress my gf at the time, I bought fillet steaks, realised that I got them too early, froze them for a week, defrosted them in the microwave and proceeded to cook them well done.

No wonder she cheated on me

>>10246572
>Put rice in a pot and let soak while you go shower/poo/brush your teeth/whatever
>Drain rice
>Refill water so that the water reaches the first digit on your index finger (the part of your finger with your nail on it)
>Cook on high before turning to low
>Forget about it while watching TV for 15 minutes
>Go back to it, afraid that it might be burned
>Perfectly cooked rice

That TV watching part is pretty important 2bh. Every time I cook rice, I always forget about it while watching TV or eating something else I cooked, and everytime I rush back to check on it 15 minutes later, it's always perfectly cooked.

my nama jeff

>>10245564
I eat friend chicken and doner kebabs sober.
t. Brit-fag.

>>10245857
wow that's actually really fucking racist and not funny at all, I don't know if you think you're being edgy or what but that is not cool.

>>10245678
Neck yourself

>>10249387
Are you putting yourself on the same level as garbage collectors or ambulance drivers? Because you're not.
How can you even be so self absorbed thinking what you are doing would benefit society the same way your other examples do?

>>10245592
Burn in hell. I'm not sure if you realize this but most of the people you're serving spit-ridden food with work wageslave jobs that are just as bad if not worse than you.

A lot of people think rich people keep poor people down, but the truth is they only hurt themselves.

>>10246572
What the fuck is instant rice?

>>10245564
I legit enjoy spy fight me /pol/

>>10245857
>Is in fact a racist
>Gets accused of racism
>Thinks his black manager does not realize he is a racist
Hide your power level better faggot

I think I have some sort of food addiction and I don't wanna admit it. I'm on a diet again and it's really fucking with my head right now. I know that all I need is sheer willpower, and I already did it in the past. I just wish I could stay healthy instead of jumping back and forth every few years.

>>10245592
>nigger detected

>>10254063
I'm the same way anon. I've accepted that my weight is going to be a lifelong battle. The important thing is to never give up.

>>10245748
Lol.

>>10249387
>all these people not getting the reference

>>10245564

boxed stocks and broths are fine

I drink original monster energy instead of the white ones and I forgot about the sticky rice i was steaming the other day and my bamboo steamer caught fire

>>10254950
Also I regularly watch binging with babish and enjoy his content

I like to get drunk, make egg salad using pickled eggs then eat it with cheese and onion crisps
Judge me

>>10245564
i like to mix ketchup with yogurt and use that as a condiment

>>10249387
this entire post

I would eat pasta for every meal of every day if I could.

>>10245564
I've been browsing /ck/ for over 10 years.

>>10255107

I piss on the lambs i roast when a buyer is muslim

>>10253028
>loving niggers this much

When I was a head chef I would drop black peoples' orders on the ground before cooking them

>>10250563

>>10253267
Dunning Kruger is strong with that one

>>10251099
No passion though obvious interest considering you're here.

>>10251129
You can get minced in a jar, or roast the whole bulbs ahead of time to a meltable consistency. Cut off top, splash oil to covers cloves, wrap bulbs in aluminum foil, roast at 400 degrees for about 25-30 mins til golden brown and squishy.

>>10251112
This is correct. Only plebs prefer ketchup

>>10254973
are you okay anon

I'm a second year culinary student who secretly has no fucking idea what he's doing.

>>10245870
Every Bellini is a peach Bellini unless it's otherwise stated. That's like saying I had a whiskey Manhattan, redundant and sad.

>>10245564
Today I'm going to 42nd st for work training and Im planning on treating myself to Burgerking

>>10258080
Yeah, but do you dress up as a cute girl? :3

I like Chipotle's queso

I purposely smear pizza over my Vagina every time I order Dominoes, as theres a rumor that the delivery boy cums on slices, and I want nothing more than to be preggo

>>10253028
>remember the 600 trillion

After my recent trip to Turkey, I am now ashamed to have been put off not only by Turkish food, but by Turkish people. I've always been on the right side of the politically correct but who I met, what I saw, and what I ate, I truly feel have turned me into a worse person for my bother.

>>10250537
We know.

I don't cook for my man. I was vegan when we met and he has been unsuccessful in his attempts to seduce me with meat. He is the best boyfriend I've ever had and yet all I can do is say I'm sorry every time he wakes up hungry in the middle of the night and eats sliced bread. Feels horrible man.

>>10249699
Nah that's alabama m8. There are tons of mexicans here since it's an easy state to illegally immigrate to and people like to say they take our jobs. Should have just called him a Varsityfag.

i like overcooked pasta and rice

I no longer really cook my own food anymore. After my girlfriend left, I found I no longer enjoyed it. I guess what I liked most about cooking was cooking for other people, and hearing their input on the food. How it tastes, if they would want it again, and if I made it to their satisfaction. Working in a kitchen always felt hollow too. So now I've started just ordering takeout or getting microwaveable meals. It's just depressing to put effort into a meal and just have it be me cooking it.

I have to say, the microwaveable meals have improved a lot.

>>10261233
>just have it be me cooking it.
me eating it*

>>10245719
Which Oxford

>>10245592
I'm glad scum like you can only manage to land a job at fucking McDonald's, kek.

>>10259813
>unsuccessful in his attempts to seduce me with meat.

>>10245564
I hate the fact the fact that we have to eat to live.

>>10245564
Could live for weeks on cheese and crackers.