/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10217725
What are some suggested foods that go great with Secret Aardvark?

>>10217728
Literally anything you want to eat while another man fucks your wife.

>>10217728

Some 'go 'za

>>10217725
AHHHHHHHHH

>>10217732
It’s really that good? How do I get into this whole cuckolding thing?

After the owner of of vark made that comment about the lgbtq community i stopped buying it

>>10217743
First step is to get in a committed relationship, preferably with an overweight woman who has several self-diagnosed mental disorders. Then all you have to do is get her to watch blacked porn with you, and then ask if she wants to get blacked. Easy peasy.

>>10217728
summer sausage with cheese and crackers

>>10217769
Great advice anon. I’m ordering some Secret Aardvark Sauce right now. Gonna have to talk the gf into watching interracial porn though...

>>10217725
My wife's bull Daquarius threw away all of my 'vark sauce because I accidentally looked at our waitress at Applebee's for too long. :(

>>10217769
Not true, I didn't get any 'vark.

>>10217728
'cado toast, tofu, the list goes on..

Where the fuck is the Patti thread? Didn't see one in a while.

>>10220258
She’s permabanned

>>10220352
What? Really? What the fuck

Why is this sauce the sauce of choice for cuckolds?

This is a big get. Hopefully this trends and get the show some new viewers.

Edit: Also sidenote I bought Secret Aardvark and its amazing. Was expecting hotter though.

>>10220703
Because a whole bunch of faggots on reddit love it and it's not hot. Like sriracha all over again.

>szechuan
>sriracha
>vark
Why do soygoys love these so much?

>>10220903
>advertised as being hot
>not actually hot
>soymen think it somehow makes them men

shill thread filtered and saged

>>10217725
God fuck /ck/, they blow this meme sauce straight to the heavens about how good this sauce is, but it's literally just a a slightly better taco bell sauce

>>10217725
'va 'za 'd 'go 'pa 'le 'oy

>Extremely sweet
No thanks.

>>10217728
Tofu bacon, Soylent, edamame, rice cakes, mixed nuts, tofurkey, gluten free crackers.

It's so sweet it makes a good substitute for hershey's syrup on non-dairy ice cream frozen subsitute and non-dairy frozen yogurt. Yummy!

>>10221297
This. I can tolerate sour, savory, or even bitter with my spice, but sweet is just toddler tier.

>>10221706
How exactly is sweet "toddler-tier"? I have a sweet tooth myself and I love 'vark because it's so sweet. If you want a vingar-y garlic-y taste just get 'cha.

>>10220352
Good. We don't need more stupid disgusting toxofags on this board.

>>10221732
Sriracha is sweet.

Pouring sweet sauce on your food is obviously toddler-tier, I'm not sure why you don't understand this.

>>10221706
>>10221740

This, I can't stand sugary foods. Why do people want sweet versions of everything. It's like they want candy but don't want the social ridicule so they make their sauces so sweet instead.

>>10221740
It's spicy in a sweet way.

>>10221782
>It's spicy in a sweet way.
Sriracha is like ketchup.

>>10221901
>>10221901
In the case of the rooster Sriracha, it's like rancid ketchup.

This is actually working, even though i am fully aware its a forced meme trolling by masquerading as shilling - seeing it every day makes me want to order a bottle online

>>10221910
I get paid today and I need to order a shipment from Amazon. It's in my cart. Although, $10 for 8 oz of sauce is steep.

>>10221910
Good goy, buy Secret Aardvark. The Best Hot Sauce.

I've concluded that anyone who enjoys Sriracha or Aardvark sauce has no sense of taste whatsoever, or licks enough tranny assholes for the taste to seem spectacular by comparison.

>>10217725
Wifey won't let me eat 'vark at home so I have to get my fix at work or on the go.
>>10221706
>>10221740
Not everyone can eat 1,000,000,000 scovilles like other Habanero sauces.
Secret 'vark is the mildest and sweetest sauce on the market and that's what makes it so great. If I wanted to cry, sweat and yell in agony I would eat habanero Crystal, Tabasco, or other hot sauces that are for people with no taste buds. The sauce is supposed to be sweet so that it pairs with more foods. If you don't like sweet treats you are sorely missing out.

>>10217768
Scott Moritz, creator of 'vark, was a staunch white supremacist before he succumbed to pancreatic cancer.

>>10222196
This.
Not many people outside of Portland know this but the original design for the label was a Nazi-esque eagle with 2 lightning bolts over a realistic depiction of an aardvark wearing a facsimile of a SS uniform and a spy mask. It was only after his death in late 2009 that the light hearted, cartoonish label we still see today replaced the old design.

>>10222229
Does /pol/ know?

>>10222242
I don't go on there so I don't know but it's an open secret in the Portland hot sauce community. I don't want to blame the current owners for Scott's worldview no matter how evil it was.

>>10222196

WTF? I love Aardvark sauce now.

>>10222229
I remember those old label designs but I never made the Nazi connection... damn. I always thought the uniform was a grey Sith uniform like in Star Wars.

>>10222196

lol. Scott Moritz was a fucking ultra leftist hippie faggot who donated tons of money to NAACP and is a major supporter before he died.

Why the fuck do you tink Aardvark sauce is carried in all these vegan, hippie, health food stores? Because he was a nazi? lol

The misinformation on this board is pretty hilarious.

>>10222334
That was his cover. Portland was changing and he grew to hate what it was becoming. A progressive beacon in a sea of hatred and ignorance. Ask the current owners about his half million dollar Nazi paraphemlia collection. He was an ultra national socialist.

>>10222334
Not him but, Scott was getting flak for the comments her made about the lgbtqindvlzqwyec+ community

>>10222343

lol. I don't really give a fuck when you liberal faggots turn on each other and try to slander them. It's pretty entertaining actually.

>>10222362
I'm cishet and your baseless attacks on my character have hurt me deeply. I'm not 'turning on' Scott. He was a great chef and a good friend, but I didn't agree with him politically. He had a room dedicated to Nazi memorabilia and paraphemlia. They tried to auction it off but the local synogogues, the JADL, and JIDF petitioned the auction so it was all melted down and mostly incinerated.

>>10222334

This guy was a feminist before the 3rd wave feminist movement. Pretty sure he would be a huge BLM racist and supporter too. I just love it when jealous liberals eat their own.

>>10222384
He was a feminist ultra left national socialist

What is this sauce comparable to? I've been memed too many times by /ck/ and now have a few bottles of shit sauces I'm never going to use

>>10222409
'cha

>>10222409
It's basically a knock off of Melindas Habernero Ketchup.
It's just as sweet but not very hot.
It's the soy boy of hot sauce basically.

>>10222382
>>10222382
I went to a Halloween party at Scott's place and he had that room cordoned off with DO NOT CROSS police tape. He got really drunk and someone pulled out a glass bowl and he smoked methamphetamines in front of everyone. He started clenching his jaw really hard and talking a lot. Someone complimented a painting in his living room and he started talking about how he bought it from a SS officer's great grandson. Then one weird quiet guy started taking to him about Hitler and stuff and Scott got up and ran to the room and unblocked it then he ran back to the living room and I'm talking about sprinting back and forth. He ushered me and several other people into that room and started picking things up and pointing things out and explaining the history beyond them. Needless to say I was extremely uncomfortable. Scott had like 20 bayonet knives with nazi markings on them. He had several old, tattered flags. The propeller of a Nazi biplane was hanging on the wall. He showed us a rack of real uniforms and he boasted about meeting one of the Nazis that wore it. Most people left the room, and some even left the party at this point. I tried to walk out, but Scott blocked the door and made me help him and that weird pull a war chest into the living room. It had to have weighed at least 300lb. I tried to get Scott to calm down and mellow out but he accused me of being a communist which I denied. I tried to excuse myself because I was understandably uncomfortable being there. He opened the chest and pulled out a collection of Luger pistols. He made me sit down and at some point he smoked another bowl of meth. I was frozen as he pulled out pistol after pistol each with several Nazi markings on the barrels and frames. He said they were all matching serial #s and the whole chest was worth $450,000.

>>10222469

So you're telling us lots of pretend Liberals are actually racist as shit on the inside?

Tell us something we don't know.

>>10222437
>>10222431
Vark is better than all of those combined

>>10217728
'cado toast

>>10222469
He was the Ben Garrison of Food.

>>10222603
An apt comparison.

>>10222469
Wtf I love 'vark sauce now

For me, it's Frank's. The Sriracha was fucking disgusting as other posters have aptly observed. Like rancid peppers meet the curdled cum of a sweatyboi with gonorrhea. Mother's Mountain is pretty good.

>>10222795
>I put that $#!' on er'rythang! LOL!!

>>10220258
OP said he would be gone for awhile, he's helping a sick family member

>>10223612
That's good. Not only is 'Vark the best hot sauce it's also a great cure me all.

>>10223042
Where is that meme even from?

>>10223930
franksredhot.com
Still not as good as Secret Aardvark btw

>>10223955
You're right. It isn't as good as 'vark. It's better.

>>10223962
Death to all those who insult 'vark!!!!!

>>10223962
Kill yourself, unironically.

>>10217725
For me, it's these bastids, blended up with some vinegar or lime, maybe a garlic clove, some salt, and maybe a bit of allspice.

>>10225047

>>10225158

>>10225674
Not him but only a soygoy redditor would have this pic saved on their computer.

>>10221732
hot sauce is a flavor enhancer, sugar has a defacto amalyze reaction, when you combine the two you get an overload because the tastebuds will target the sugar before any other flavor. Causing this radical sensation of sweetness ontop of a sudden kick of hotsuace. Its off putting and it ruins flavors of anything you put it on.
By itself it tastes fine, but when you put it on things it causes a conflict with the food. Only people that don't really like hot sauce but pretend to like it would ever use it.

>>10225788
Only a "soygoy redditor" would say "soygoy redditor" unironically.

>>10225830
Not him but only a soygoy redditor would post this reply.

>>10227136
Not him but only a soygoy redditor would say not him

>>10227154
Not the poster you are responding to, but only a soygoy redditor would reply within a minute.

>>10222229
>>10222321
Either of you got a picture of that?

Pic related, from their website.

>tfw you buy a superhot sauce and it has absolutely no smell whatsoever

>>10217728
what a suspiciously worded post......

>>10228025
>ipod
>knife
>gun

I'm getting some hardcore /g/ flashbacks here

>>10217728
Anything with soy desu

>tfw wifes live-in boyfriend threatens to shut down your BLACKED.gov account if you spend another thousand on The Best Hot Sauce

what the fuck i've been getting this hot sauce every now and then since about a year ago why the fuck is this a meme now what am i supposed to do now

>>10230090
commit sudoku

>>10221289
can someone translate this one

>>10230090
haha you soy now

>>10230090
You ever think you could've saved up those good husband points to replace Trayshaun in the master bedroom for 1 night instead of buying shitty hot sauce?

>>10230175
I don't know anybody named Trayshaun but my wife lets me buy all of the "shitty sauce" that I want as long as I take it out of my allowance.

What do I eat with hotsauce? Help me /ck/

>>10230197
Fresh semen. Mix with the hot sauce and apply directly to your eyeballs.

>>10230197
Is it hot sauce or is it 'vark? Because there is a huge difference. 'vark is the sweetest and mildest 'hot' sauce on the market.

Any food that you eat regularly will go with 'vark.
I eat 'vark with tofu fakon, edamame, Soylent, rice cakes, nori sheets, raw silken tofu cubes, yogurt, coffee, ramen, white rice, sliced apples, baby carrots, mashed peas, quinoa, couscous and even tofu hot dog slices.

marie sharps

That packaging is, ooo, hideous.

>>10222294
>the Portland hot sauce community
>hot sauce community
>Portland

Oh my god I'm dying

>>10230238
Fuck off, if you don't like it don't buy it but it doesn't give you the right to say shit like this. I love the Secret Aardvark mascot, he brings me comfort and solace that I dearly need in my life. Ever since I saw him in 2010 he has been a beacon of happiness for me in a sea of depression.

>>10217725
i've tried a whole bunch of different hot sauces including all the popular ones

for me it's crystal extra hot sauce

>>10228025
Seriously, anybody? Is this really nazisauce or are you all just a bunch of larping candyasses?

>>10217733
>>10220182
Why do people shorten the name of food like this. I know its probably autism, but this manner of speaking gets so tiresome.

>>10228025
>backwoods
>auto knife
>hornady
Extremely on the level, 14/10

>>10230185
>my allowance
subtle

>>10230274

>>10230274
WAY too spicy

>>10222026
what a pussy. how can you even fucking live with yourself?

>>10233159
he's memeing, dumdum

>>10231703
t. srirachatard

>>10228025
This is absolute proof they are shilling on 4chan.

I saw this image in an edc thread on /k/ with no accompanying text

>>10233821

>>10233891
So many varieties. What would be best to try first? I mean for someone who is a bit of a rebel and decides not to leap straight for the famous hot sauce.

>>10222196

Haha I'm going to look up if this is true, and then I'm going to buy a case.

>>10233903
Try the Secret Aardvark Drunken Garlic Black Bean Sauce - it's delicious!

Can we all just agree that sriracha tards are the worst?

>>10233984
Literally a memesauce, lol ;)

>>10233821
They may very well be, but that wasn't them. I found that on their website while looking for the alleged nazi logo and thought it was funny

t. /k/

>>10220258
:)

>>10220352
What for?

>>10234823
why would th emods ban this?

it hurts knowing that the goat hot sauce exist but few have tried it.
Calypso is
>hot, but not too hot
>fruity
>tangy
>and savory

and for the guys who want a hotter sauce Matouks also does a Scotch Bonnet hot pepper sauce which is also pretty good but lacks the greatness of the Calypso imo.

>>10234838
Violating the NAP

>>10235363
>>10220352
>>10220358
>>10221738
>>10234838
mods have never shown me any hostilities, ive taken leave to help a injured family member, honestly I feel honored to be strong enough to replace this persons legs until they are back on their feet, i miss the threads but they would be half assed at the moment, ill be back towards the end of the month and post casually until then

secret 'vark is pretty good btw but i just got it still need to mess with it, its like a pretty spicy marinara

>>10233891

>>10235681
Glad to hear you're doing well. Hope they get better soon too

>>10235681
Post more of kitty

>>10222795
Frank's is good lube for choking down plain chicken breast

it's good but it's not spicy enough. I bought one a week ago and went through almost the entire bottle since then. what's a good hot sauce that is prohibitively spicy?

>>10237449
Frank’s Red Hot

>>10238762
come on we don't need yet another decent hot sauce being shitposted all the time

>>10237449
my gf loves Frank's Red Hot, but to be honest it's too spicy for me, I prefer the sweetness of either 'cha or 'vark.

>>10217725
You Varkin' out, bra?

>>10217725
I like it on tacos.

>>10239329
how is franks chile lime

>>10239391
it's delightful it's delicious it's de-lovely

>>10217725
Pic related is my favorite by far. Has amazing flavor and nice spice.

>>10239402
I drink some ipa's that have labels like that lol

>>10239402
St. Augustine is full of gays tho.

>>10239410
Lagunitas? I also enjoy watching other men fuck my wife.

>>10239417
Is it? I've been there several times and I've never seen any faggots. There's one spot that makes an amazing bloody mary, as well.

>>10240953
>soylentina on top
>'lula on top

this is my favorite. VERY hot and so fucking tasty. i LOVE CHERRIES. 2nd fav sauce is chipotle yuca teca

>>10241053
does it have dog cum

>>10241072
yuh

>>10230402
It's based on when people shorten pizza to 'za.
A good 90% of memes on 4chan are just pretending to be retarded in the hopes someone gets buttmad.

>>10241494
No, it's because they're cursed foods and if you say them in full you risk food poisoning.