/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I've never cut or burnt myself in the kitchen.

>>10229370
How retarded do you have to be to impale yourself while opening an avocado?

>>10229370
Gore belongs on /b/, not everyone is a desensitized husk of a human being that gets off on seeing human misery. Your pic is literally making me and my gf's stomachs churn

>>10229394
I was trying to get a nut out but I slipped and missed

>>10229370
i mean considering that when i reverse searched the image there was a whole article about tons of other retards like yourself injuring themselves in similar fashion, i'd say no you aren't the only one. you're still a fucking dingus though.

>>10229421
the nurse told me it happens all the time, she even had a scar from doing it herself.

that's not how you peel an avocado anyway

you're meant to crush it with your hand

>>10229406
I put the 'cado on a cutting board, then slam the knife down on the pit so it bites in, gently rock the back of the knife until the pit comes loose.

Avacados are slippery mayne

>eating avocados when you are not paleolithic megafauna
You get what you deserve

>>10229370
You use the blade, not the point, to pit an avocado, dipshit.

>>10229406
That's my fetish.

I lost some skin while grating a carrot once.

>>10229453
Can you imagine a dinosaur shitting out whole avocado pits?

>>10229370
lol, why would you eat something as disgusting as avocado?

>>10229741
To a brontosaurus an avocado pit would not be more noticeable than an apple seed is to us.

>>10229434
seems like your avocado is not ripe enough. I let them get just a little soft on the outside. cut them in half and you should be able to squeeze the pit right out.

>>10229400
You need to piss off back to rëddit la.

>>10229400

>>10229370
You wasted a perfect avocado

>>10229370

Nah, it's just you and the dum dum in your OP pic.

>>10229370
I think I’m more retarded...I never learn

>>10229370
fucking milennials

>>10229370
It's extremely common. Someone at my climbing gym sliced open their hand trying to de-stone an avocado.

I managed to slice off the tip of my finger with a new ceramic knife. After that I was a bit more cautious

>>10229453
Hey, fuck you. Avocados are awesome. Just because a bunch of commiefornia faggots love them doesn’t mean the rest of us have to hate them.

>>10229400
But what about your gf's son?

Sorry friend. Burning your hands on the stove, cutting into your fingers when preparing something on the cutting board, etc, that just happens to anyone.

But avocado hand is just retarded. If you had spent a minute on googling on how to cut an avocado the proper way, you'd not have had this.

>>10229400

Don't be such a faggot, faggot.

>>10229406
Weak fucker. I use a butter knife and it does the trick.

>>10229370
damn that's fucking dumb. it almost looks fake to me.

There was a time that I was grating zucchini in the wide grater, for making zucchini pasta
Then accidentaly I grated a big chunk of finger, lots of blood spilled in the zucchini and a piece of skinned meat mixee with it

>>10229370
ER nurse here, whenever you retards show up we always give you the menu of some local pizza place with your bill.

I've sliced my fingertip badly while peeling potatoes working at New York Fries years ago; more recently I was cleaning a french press when that shit decided to shatter and I needed 3 stitches. I bake/cook all the time so thankfully that's all I've had (so far).

Are you guys retarded? Just bite the seed out.

>>10229370
Please be safer in the future OP, it's annoying working in the kitchen one handed. Hope you heal up soon. Also, I've never experienced anything nearly that bad. Mostly element or rack burns every now and then.
>pic related from a few days ago

>>10229370
I cut my finger with a cleaver a few days ago, the cut is closed up now but there are some gray marks around it, kind of looks like under the skin. It that something to worry about?

>>10231400
Probably just bruising. If it starts to feel warm to the touch or swelling, you may have an infection. Clean and bandage it daily to avoid that.

Every now and again, people have momentary retardation...
I once was separating frozen chicken breasts, with my knife pointed towards me (like an idiot), point going towards my hand, and all while thinking "I'm going to stab myself if I don't stop this..." and slip
Nice ~2 inch gash in my hand.

As long as you don't continually do retarded fuck-ups, it's not a huge deal and nothing to be ashamed of. If you do, go to a mental hospital and stay away from knives and forks...spoons too.

>>10229741
What would that smell like?
Haha
Asking for a friend

I took off half my fingernail with a razor sharp peeler recently.

>>10229370
Nice tits

>>10229400
You belong on reddit. You are a redditor and that is where you belong. Anyone reading this, if you browse reddit, you are not welcome here.

>>10229406
Thats not how you seed avocados you dumb sack of fuck

>>10229370
What possesses you idiots into thinking you need to stab the knife through the pit with the tip? It makes no sense at all.

Did this cutting a corn bread with a really sharp knife.

>>10229400
>Gore

>>10231425
The only reason I asked is because it seemed like the blade made a gray mark in the cut right when I cut my finger. Didn't know if it was actually material off of the blade. I do clean and rebandage it daily though and can't feel any other problems.

>>10229370
I've been there. Only went about half way through my hand though, still have a scar after about 2 years.

>>10231653
This. Hit the pit like that then twist

Was opening a bottle of wine with one of these and forgot to put that knife thing on the end down, when I pulled the cork up it stabbed me under the mouth

>>10232020
what were you doing with your face so close to the bottle? weirdo

>>10232020

I was pushing grated cheese from a tray onto a pan of food that was in the already hot oven. As I was doing it, I thought:
>I'm gonna burn myself doing this.
And then I burn myself doing it.

Once when I was eating steak I dropped the steak knife. My hand instinctively went to catch it, but the handle of the knife had landed on my thigh and the blade was upright at the moment my hand went down. Hand was impaled on the steak knife.

>>10229406
I rip them out with my teeth. Works every single time.

>>10229406
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNJdJIwCF_Y

I was cooking really drunk once and stuck the knife into the cutting board way too hard. The handle and blade were flush so all my fingers glided down the blade with a tight grip. I didn't go to the hospital but bled for hours. At least I have a cool scar that runs straight across all my fingers.

Worst I've had was back when I worked as a biscuit maker in a local chain restaurant where I would get burned by the ovens on a regular occurrence.

What would happen if you were the OP image person and tried to pull the knife out by yourself

I've never had an avocado, am I missing out?

>>10234129
you would go 'ouch' and 'owie'

>>10231243
Tits or gtfo

>>10229370
Kinda afraid of knives now.

>>10229384
Then you haven't been cooking enough or long enough. Cuts and burns are inevitable, no matter how careful you are

>>10229406
Try a reverse grip with your other hand. Also, dount use so much lube.

>>10229425
Probably a fake story to make you feel better

>>10234129
If you were by yourself, you’d probably bleed a lot. There’s no major arteries in the hand, right? Never pull out a knife that’s stuck to you, by the way.

Once when I was 6, I was at my aunt’s house. She was cutting up carrots with a knife and it dropped straight on one of her toes. Took it clean off. The toe went a couple feet.

>>10231696
Did you just fucking staple it or something?

I put a pot of leftover soup on a gas ring to heat it, went back to my room and completely forgot about it. When I realized my mistake the kitchen was already kinda hazy, the soup has boiled out and there was nothing but charred vegetables and dark brown hot oil in the pot with smoke coming out of it.
My best idea was to take the pot, put it in the sink and pour water in it to prevent it from catching fire.
I know. "Best" idea.
Scalding hot oil immediately exploded out of the pot when the water touched it and vaporized instantly, covering both of my forearms with superheated oil droplets.
Got hundreds of bubbly liquid-filled blisters on my hands and forearms, looking like a mustard gas victim.
Lesson learned.

One time when i was like 6 or 7, i was having a hard time getting the shell of a pistachio. I grabbed a streak knife and tried to hold the shell down while sawing at it along the seam. The blade slipped and i gashed my thumb open pretty bad, or at least as bad as 6 year old me had ever known. I called my mom and she just calmly helped me wash it and put a band aid over it. She didn't yell or freak out at all, just said "now you know not to fuck around with knives" or something like that.

>>10234365
What about if it's in like your abdomen or something.
Somewhere that will get really jostled as you move if you try to walk or whatever
Do you still leave it in?

>>10234428
More likely someone at the ER "just fucking stapled it".

>>10229425
>she even had a scar from doing it herself

Haha wtf, is this a thing in America, BAN ASSAULT AVOS NOW

Any of you guys from Alberta??

>>10235269
Calgary, guy

>>10232037
yeeeeeeee best movie

>>10231653
>OP chops his entire hand in half

>>10235300
What, it's not like you're using a katana, be greatest sword ever made, with glorious folded nipon steel.

>>10235090
Y E S