/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Well that's 61 seconds of my life I'll never get back.

>>10184808
Stop with these threads, they aren't good and you keep posting the same shit.

>>10184808
go post your shitty autism stimulation material somewhere else

>>10184829

/thread

>inb4 300 tasty webums

>>10185064
man

>>10185269
I feel like a woman

So what DO all the complainers want out of a webm thread?

>>10186478
Not a complainer but since you asked I'd rather one anon didn't spam 50 webms in a row. Just post one every now and then, and let others post. It's ck, no need to be in a hurry.

>inb4 that guy with the list of >inb4 green text about reposted webms

>>10186487
Ok that's fine but content wise what do people want?

>>10186489
I dunno what the complainers want, but I'm pretty happy with anything food related. It's nice to see a combination of some new and some classics. That's just me.

>>10186478
Not the same mini food video every thread.

>>10186489
At least 50% OC per thread.

Yes, they will become slow as shit. That's fine; it still saves time sifting through old webms.

>>10186506
>>10186496
That's fair, I ask because I've made like 50 webms in the last month of a variety of things and it's hard to see what sticks. And to be honest with the file size and time restrictions it's easier to make webms of silly and goofy stuff.

>>10186527
Avoid the gay autism ones like in the OP, nobody likes those. Ones with genuinely good cooking are always welcome, and I don't mean that "tasty" channel and salt bae faggotry, I mean actual good cooking. Street food videos are generally entertaining most of the time. Silly ones can be okay sometimes, but they run the risk of being stupid and not funny, so be careful when posting them.

>>10187212

> tastes like butter

doubt

>>10187212
>yeast
>vegan
wut

>>10187230
educate yourself

>>10187237
I think I'm going to be sick.

>>10187252
last one, I promise

>>10186487
>It's ck, no need to be in a hurry.
but Anon,it's /ck/ FAST Food and Cooking

>>10187264
I guess it must be similar to this shit.

>>10186489
Don't care much for OC, but I wanna see food, interesting food.
Food gore has it's own thread so I would like to see food that would make me want to cook it in here

>>10187264
>vegetable oil

Why even pretend to be eating healthy.

>>10187305
Nobody said healthy, they said reminiscent of real mayo

>>10187310
Kay. Good to know you value the comfort of a chicken more than your own life.

>>10187260
I really don't trust Jack with a loaded firearm.

>>10184808
You should rename this to circumcision.webm

>>10187346
What did he even do wrong here?

>>10187346
>not the dark souls edit
You had one job anon.

>>10187348
fake and gay

>>10187420
>when the salmonella hits

>>10187430
is this the time he got pissed and started choking his son

>>10184821

you and me broheim

>>10187260
This webm convinced me we need to go full Australia and ban guns

>>10187456
Statistically he's quite likely to kill either himself or a close relative.

>>10187472
Why the fuck did she just try to grasp that flour with her clumsy retarded fingers? Why did she blow it everywhere?

>>10186596
shut the fuck up you won't gonna tell me what to post here nigga

>>10187472
Jesus christ, that whole presentation was like was designed for maximum annoyance. Who keeps flour in a fucking antique accountant's filing desk? Who just grabs it with their hands? Who the fuck cleans up all that flour she just blew everywhere? STOP SMUSHING YOUR HANDS INTO THE SUGAR WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MELTING CHOCOLATE ON A PLATE WITH A BLOWDRYER STOP USING EVERY FUCKING SPOON IN THE KITCHEN STOP WASTING VANILLA--
Argh.

>>10187522

>>10187346

Maybe he should leave out the TNT from the recipe next time

>>10187472
More proof that women shouldn't be allowed to vote.

>>10187472
Is this ironic or is she trying to be artsy? I can't tell.

>>10187472
Possibly the worst cooking video I've ever seen.

Who the hell is this fatfuck, why is he so disgusting, and who thought it would be a good idea for him to have a "cooking" show?

>>10187577
Is his son a bit... special?

>>10187715

>>10186489
Wtf I'm a weeb now?

>>10187715
Jack. That's just how he is. He did.

>>10187715
Welcome to /ck/.

>>10187353
someone post it please

>>10187523
relax anon just turn your brain off :↑)

>>10187305
You DO realize that regular mayo is mostly oil as well, right?

The only difference between vegan mayo and regular mayo is that the emulsifier comes from something that isn't an egg yolk.

You could make a vegan mayo with soy lecithin, or mustard seeds.

There's no problem with having some fats in your diet. Mayo is a dressing, so used properly, it's perfectly fine in a meal.

>>10186527
Anecdotally it seems like the ones showing interesting skills are consistently appreciated. Weird shit occasionally gets a big response, but maybe one out of five weird shit webms actually hits.

>>10187701
Can someone post the youtube link?

>>10187865
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Era4tENWn4Q

>>10187237
Yeast is a living organism, and VEGANS EAT IT ? ? ? ? ?

>>10187522
god damn it I'm in tears

>>10188013
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS STICK OUT ITS TONGUE WTF IS ITS PROBLEM

>>10187718
he just hates his faggot father. cant blame him

>>10187294
This cracks me up so fucking much every time I see it.

>>10188063

Jack is not really a human, he is a symbiotic colony of pathogens forming a pseudohuman for the purpose of encouraging other hosts to eat undercooked food so they their bacterial brethren can grow and spread

>>10187891
>watching ja/ck/ essentially pepper spray himself

Thanks a lot anon

the jack squad is back I see kek

>>10187212
>plant-based milk
??? I mean. Cows make plants into milk. Is that what they mean?

>>10188093
Mixed vegetable slop and ruined fish.
Wa La

>>10188000
>toppings first
>sauce after
THE ABSOLUTE OUTRAGE

>>10187237
I've never tasted nutritional yeast but it smells like old socks

>>10187701

>>10187264
>olive oil
>immersion blender
OH GOD MAKE IT STOP

>>10187918

plant is a living organism and VEGANS EAT IT ? ? ? ? ?

>>10188000
there's not that many ways to fuck up a pizza but he certainly found one

>>10188294
I FUKKEN KNOWWW

>>10187264
>15ml of olive oil
>A FUCKING QUARTER OF A LITRE OF OLIVE OIL

FUCKING WHY THO

>>10188339
(you)

>>10187472
this is stupidly hipster. Simply awful.

>>10188339
you mean vegetable oil

>>10187351
didn't close the latch on the handle

>>10186489
they could probably shave a couple hundred off the price if they didn't serve it in such an autistic container.

>>10187212
>tastes like butter
>definitely not like turmeric

maybe it's not such a good idea for lifelong vegans to try and remember what animal products taste like.

>>10188358
Prove it fuccboi

>>10187237
video in no way explains how it's vegan

>nooch
KYS

>>10187323
mayo is disgustingly unhealthy regardless of where it comes from

>>10188238
>tfw that fat fuck came to central Texas
>tfw I was within shooting distance of Jack

>>10188497
would you have done everyone a favor if you KNEW he was there?

>>10187522
What the fuck is going on with his goatee, it's like it's trying to annex his neck.

>>10188085
I think it's more that people severely overstate the dangers of eating raw or undercooked meat these days.

>>10188168
Yeah, if you discount the fact that all cows have been RAPED in order to give milk.

>>10188085

>>10188093
Didn't look bad up until the fish. It would have been better just friend in a little oil and salted.

common guys

>>10187351
>>10188372
That, and it's upside down.

>>10188704
>making a sandwich in a wok
Is this advanced cuisine?

>>10187348
The rough edge of that cheese ruins this desu

>>10188704
How does he get out without breaking any of the eggs?

>>10188762
>Getting out

He's a spirit bound there by an ancient wizard to make sandwiches. The wizard is long dead, but the curse that binds him there remains.

>>10188793
That's terrible.

>>10187428
be original you faggots keep saying the same thing

>>10187523
it's ok buddy you don't ever have to see this again. You're safe now

>>10188749
Yes. There are two schools of tough.
You can do European cuisine with a 100s of pans and single-tasking tools or Asian style with one tool.
Also not posting best ja/ck/

>>10188817
Why do you think he's so surly?

>>10188817
The world is not a Will Ferrell movie men.

>>10185064
My dad has two of those same alien figures. Pretty cool. Will probably get him a third one.

>>10188862
>also not posting best ja/ck/
its already been posted, the one where he peppers his eyes

>>10188704
how does he get out without breaking the egss

>>10188641
because milk comes from the vagina... kys

>>10188704
how does he get out of there without breaking all of the eggs?

>>10188704
How on earth does he get out of there without breaking those eggs??

>>10188938
You know that cows only give milk for a short while after they've given birth, right? These cows hard to be raped and forcibly impregnated without consent in order to give you your delicious milk.

>>10188704
but how does he get out without breaking the eggs?

>>10188704
how is he going to get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>>10188952
stop you stupid fucking samefag

>>10188704
What does he do to eacape from there without breaking the eggs? Is there a trapdoor?

>>10188958
How does he get out without breaking the eggs?

>>10188970
floodposting is banable, faggot

>>10188704
How does he get out from there without breaking all of the eggs?

>>10188749
>>10188762
>>10188931
>>10188940
>>10188947
>>10188952
>>10188958
>>10188976
>>10188970
>>10188983
He has to make all of the eggs xD

>>10188749
>>10188762
>>10188931
>>10188940
>>10188947
>>10188952
>>10188958
>>10188976
>>10188970
>>10188983
he has to make all of the eggs

>>10188704
How does he get out without breaking the eggs?

>>10188704
how does he get out without breaking all of the eggs?

>>10188999
>>10189008
he has to make all of the eggs

>>10186596
>so be careful when posting them.
lmao or else what, faggot?

>>10189014
You'll have to deal with me.

>>10188704
For real how does he get out?

>>10188704
Does he have to make all of the eggs before he can leave?

>>10188704
How does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>>10189056
>>10189041
>>10189026
>>10189013
>>10189008
>>10188999
>>10188996
>>10188991
>>10188983
>>10188976
>>10188970
>>10188958
>>10188952
>>10188947
>>10188940
>>10188931
>>10188762
I swear I've seen this reply before

>>10187448

no, that's this one>>10187260

>>10187348
I don't own a cooking tweezers

>>10189017
o snap my bad famalam

>>10187260
lol. he's gonna off himself.

>>10185695
doo doo de doo duh doo doo

>>10188704
Tight! Tight, tight YEAH!

>>10186478
Less re-posting. Most threads have 2 or 3 new videos, and then the rest is just videos that (in some cases literally) get posted in every thread.

That said, it's actually been getting better.

>>10188401
i don't think it went autistic enough. each section should have been a cut of meat from the corresponding part of the animal, not just the luxury cuts.

>>10188641
Who cares?

>>10188830
You keep posting the same webm

>>10188704
How does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>>10187472
this is incredibly pretentious artsy hipster bullshit, like a student movie from a city college. i bet she wished she could use an old wood oven, but had absolutely no idea how it would work.

>>10188950
Animals cannot give consent. Therefore, all animal sex is rape. Therefore, rape is natural in the animal kingdom. You argue against nature. You would have no more cows. You are a monster.

>>10187260
I can only imagine how badly this ends...

>loads with wrong ammo
>puts bullet in backwards
>somehow fires and hits a gas pump, killing 8 people and causing a 17 car pile up at the intersection

>>10187472
This is giving me a 'Closer' vibe.

>>10187346
Are those the footpads of the whatever the heck is that? What a dumbass.

>>10187577
>Hello darkness, my old friend...

>>10187701
why would you do that to yourself

>>10188930
>literally dripping with oil
very healthy

>>10187472
source?

>>10187348
and this is why $40 plates of $10 in food at fancy restaurants piss me off

>>10188032
praciting for all the pussy licking

>>10189626
meanwhile the noodles on the bottom of the pile are getting burnt to shit... wala

>>10189647
>people eating
hipster faggots eating

>>10188736
There's clearly a light on top. Those footpads you're seeing are for when you open it 180 degrees.

>>10189638
god forbid we don't have 100% noodle efficiency

>>10189681
or you know, just don't keep a huge ass pile of noodles drying out and burning on the fucking wok

>>10189584
well that was random

>>10187832
Skill is hard to capture sometimes in a short amount of time, but I agree.

>>10189265
Except for this thread which is a perfect example of how not to do it. Jack dumping and tasty galore.

>>10189695
what are those white tube thingies called again

>>10189731
Last time I made cookies they tasted really good and were soft but they didn't flatten as much as I expected so they were kind dome shaped. What did I do wrong?

>>10189726
He has to make all of the eggs

>>10189725
Implying al/ck/s don't drink from a utilitarian glass.
>i.e. whichever glass is cleanest

>>10189769
I always use my Rainbow Dash pint glass because it's also good for measuring liquor.

If you had to choose obe which would it be: eat Jack's food for a month or only eat crackers and water for a month.

>>10187260
>when choking your son isn't enough

>>10189785
I choose Rapture.

>>10189647
Greek(turkish) dishes?

>>10189772
I heard you need a thousand years of training to be able to slice kebab meat that thin.

>>10189553
>>10189534
>>10189524
>>10189514
>>10189570
>>10189584
>>10189673
>>10189695
>>10189772
>>10189817
WTF stop posting all these unrelated webms this is a jack and eggman thread

>>10189818
My friend Pauli had this wonderful system for doing the kebab, he used a razor and he used to slice it so thin it would just liquefy in the pan.

>>10189824
that's all OC I made, thought that's what you fuckheads want....

>>10189834
Don't reply to the Jack posters, they are upset that mods have declared Jack to be off topic.

>>10185064
ayy lmao

>>10188339
How do you think mayo is made?

>>10189772
*scrapes meat onto your burrito and drags purple onions over it*

>>10189657
>hipster
If you think what they are eating is 'hipster' it says a lot more about you than you realise.

In the last month, how many times did you eat fastfood or takeaways? When was the last time you cooked and what was it?

>>10189725
>finish glass
>get a new one

Check mate pythagoras.

>>10189971
>that'll be $800 + tip

>>10189725
for what purpose

>>10189638
The wok is unusually shaped so it's essentially on its side facing the chef. The noodles are on a lip up and off to the side of the heating element so they're likely just warm while the stir fry is hot.

>>10189971
That is some bullshit right there. I mean, deconstructing staples can be fun, but at the very least make your own goddamn chili from scratch instead of scraping it out of a can like a savage.

>>10189638

>>10188168
Soymilk

>>10189618

>>10190139
Looks like shit, AND a pain in the ass to use.
I should buy one for someone I hate.

>>10187472
>>10189446
I put beet cake into google and that's the first one that came up that could be made into a webm of less than 2 minutes (seriously, fuck the 2m time limit 4chan).

>>10187472
the second she pulled the flour out of that drawer I fucking raged

>>10190113
I wonder how profitable that is. I'm pretty sure this guy can get away with up charging the fuck out of his product. Pretty good idea tho.

>>10190164

>>10190173
There are a couple of hipsters in New York (I think) with a "breakfast cereal restaurant". You get a bowl of off the shelf cereal and a half a cup of milk and they charge like $10 a bowl. So these fucks probably make a ton.

>>10189720
fucking disgusting

>>10190139
lol someone gave me one of the for christmas a few years ago and I've never touched it.

>>10190194
Could you at least grind it up to use like normal salt? That thing would be like 6 months worth of salt.

>>10187260
wtf im a radical liberal now

>>10187237
mac n cheese is gross, why do vegans seem so obsessed with making their own version?

>>10190229
Shut up, mac and cheese is great. When done right.

>>10187260
>don't go to /ck/ tomorrow

>>10187260
>say that shit to my face not on the internet

>>10189737
Add more fat/oil

>>10189971
If I was served this I would scoop it all up with one hand, mush it into a ball and slam it on the table

>>10190231
I'd legitimately like to try this, along with the other weird ass vegan recipes in this thread

>>10190181
>semen resembling dipping sauce

>>10190231

>HURR AVACADOS REPLACE EVERYTHING AND DO EVERYTHING, WANT MORE PROTEIN, EAT AVACADOS, DON'T WANT SUGAR, USE AVACADOS, DON'T FEEL LIKE EATING EGGS, USE AVACADOS, NOT ENOUGH FIBER IN YOUR DIET, AVACADOES HURRRRRR

>>10190288

Food?

>>10188704
How does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>>10190309
Five people have already made this exact post in the thread already. If you are going to shit up these threads at least read them first you fuck face.

>>10190139
How do you wash it afterwards?

>>10190139
What is the point of cooking on a salt block as opposed to just cooking in a pan and adding salt?

>>10190297
I want to FUCK that bunny!

>>10190328
To impress your normie friends who don't know shit about cooking.

>>10190231
What is the point of this recipe?
It's not vegan, they top it with mozzarella at the end.
Is it just supposed to be "healthy" macaroni and cheese?

>>10190291
Shit like this seems like such a bother when I could just have a fried egg with sliced avocado and bacon strips.

>>10190349
Because that won't look very foodie when you post it on your instagram.

>>10190323
The webm tells you.
You just scrub it with a sponge and water.

>>10190378
My bad, I tend to just skip through meme videos.

>>10188093
>all the fucking butter
why do americans do this

>>10188950
You've never been on a ranch before have you? If you leave a heifer in a field with a bull for a while they will sort it out themselves.

>>10187346
cool cooker Jack

>>10190183
so they basically copied Michael Scott's idea of opening a restaurant called Mikes Cereal Shack

>>10190366
>90% avocado
>10% flavour that actually matters

>>10187237
>umami taste
>it contains no MSG

>>10190335
Same desu

>>10190328
you can sell the steack 10 time their value. Anglos are obsessed with those "show food". they don't have palate to begin with so it's not like they understand restaurant food for anything else than the fancy plating to begin with.

>>10186489

Oh yeah, because people really want to eat cold steak.

>>10190173
Honestly want to try the cheesecake dip.

>>10190181
>second person they show eating it is a hipster guy looking longingly into the camera
>followed by "And are shaped to resemble a flaccid penis"

God damnit

>>10190139
That is some impressively grey steak.

>>10190139
Looks like shit

>>10190231
>avacado is a healthier substitute for cheese
Avacado is neither healthier than cheese nor a substitute for cheese.

Thank you based newposter

>>10190366
Im fucking done.
Avocado is a blight upon the culinary world.

>>10190705
It's delivered, so I imagine it's at least hot when it arrives.
Theoretically, if you had enough people, it could all be eaten before it went cold.

>>10184821
thanks for the save
>>10187230
They also all wear makeup, drive cars, etc. All stuff with made with animal products. vegans are just virtue signaling hypocrites.

>>10187237
Vegan recipes make me laugh. Vegans might be some of the lowest IQ humans on the planet.

>>10188372
>>10188736
wrong. both of you are idiots. he DID close the latch and thats what caused it. you guys must have missed the science class on steam and pressure. were you whacking off to your hentai you stored on your psp in the bathroom?

>>10187260
Please tell me this video ends with him blowing his fat fucking brains due to stupidity.

>>10190231
This webm legitimately pisses me off every time I watch it.

>>10189720
What Ive always wanted. raw whipped eggs.

>>10190800
I apologize for not fully analyzing a jack webm before posting. Will he forgive me upon judgement?

>>10189561
Because of your autism?

>>10190164
>Transfood

>>10189720
>the recipe is a secret
>literally just a souffle in a pan
Fuck instagram.

>>10187346
>notorious terrorist Jaq Sal-Monella

gotta get this thread back on track

>>10190309
We just don't know.

>>10190897
>TFW the cheese is sharper than your knife

>>10189737
Butter might have been too cold. You use really cold butter when you want cookies to maintain their shape.

>>10184821
R click > play speed > x2
;-)

>>10188566
I probably would have atleast slipped some diarrhetic in his food

>>10189836
Yet this thread is full of Jack's glory

>>10190231
>avacado is a healthier substitute for cheese
>use cheese anyway

>>10190733
Its actually a lot healthier

Is posting Jack not bannable?
I could pitch in, but I don't want to get banned.

>>10187701
And here I thought it was just a cowboy bebop thing...

>>10187472
I think what kills me the most is that this is actually really poorly done for an artsy video. These are all stock filters, the camera work is absolutely awful, and she has no idea how or what to focus on, or where to place subject matter or how to angle it. But at least she knows to constantly have something wooden in the background and use shitty knick-knacks from yard sales.

another example of why pintrest is the worst

>>10191061
Starting a Ja/ck/ thread is. I think posting Jack is discouraged but the mods don't give a fuck.

>>10190789
dude epic

>>10191019
>He thinks Jack could tell the difference between Exlax shits and his regular Salmonella shits

Buddy, you have far too much faith in Jack, the man probably has to poop 5-12 times a day.

>>10187260
Jack on the Hunt

>>10191149
>comparing an iphone to an experimental transportation device or being alive

>>10191202
hows life in latvia

>>10187264
>WOW!

>>10189726
squid

>>10188930

Obnoxious fat fuck

>>10189647

What is he pouring at the end?

>>10187264
> man hands
> plaid lumberjack shirt
> painted nails

Am I the only one triggerrd

>>10191028
Those poor san marzano tomatoes, they had no idea it was coming :(

>>10189771
You should measure out a length of rope to hang yourself from.

>>10191149
soyboys think this is a good comeback

>>10189827
jesus these look so good
you can't even get that kind of sushi at a normal restaurant here, never mind at a conveyor belt place

>>10191019
>we're all gonna make it, brah

>>10187212
Why do vegans constantly feel the need to make vegan versions of animal derived products? Shouldn't a diet that touts itself as being so natural for humans be able to have cuisine that stands on its own without having to mimic the foods it claims are so evil?

>>10189971
This makes me wanna kill myself.

>>10191041
How can anyone suck this bad at cooking? I find it hard to believe people can make things so disgusting and unappetizing by accident.

>>10189443
His recipe calls for browning 4lbs of ground beef in half a cup of olive oil and not draining it before adding the few other ingredients the sauce contains. I tried this recipe out of curiosity, and was hands down the worst lasagna I have ever had. Bland and greasy.

>>10191067

He ha to be doing this on purpose, you can easily edit that out and make a new shot

>>10188416
It says it in the webm mong

>>10189795
This looks pretty tasty.

>>10190231
>use avocados instead of cheese
>cheese literally 5 seconds later
>cheese literally 10 seconds later
>cheese literally 15 seconds later
why the fuck did you even put the fucking avocado then

>>10190883
Did he cut himself on the fucking backend of the blade? What a retarded fuck.

>>10191149
>caring about the Chinese factory workers
how about you bitch to make them come back to US instead

>>10190883
>people are posting and discussing original content
>Can't have that! Here's the same fucking webm that I've posted a thousand times over the last 4 years!
Go kill yourself

>>10188930
I al as though bam's mom cheated on him until I saw bam has turned into Phil

>>10188620
Hi Jack, how are ya?!

>>10190309
He can't. Apparently he has to keep selling and cooking them until there's none left, only then can he leave.

>>10189971
>new item at Trump Grille

>>10190270

>>10187523
i feel your pain bro

>>10191567
they removed 5/6ths of the cheese by replacing with avocado

like how reduced sodium soup is healthier than regular but still has a little sodium. Just much less than regular.

>>10190297
what was her problem?

>>10189816
>Greek(turkish)
Kill yourself Ahmad