/ck/ - Food & Cooking

First I'm going to take her to a nice French restaurant. When we arrive the waiter will get her coat, I will seat her at a table for us 2, with candlelight illuminating this magical evening. Then when the food arrives and the waiter takes off the lid, it will be revealed to be a horses cock, still fully erect, decorated with red onions and green apples. I will look at her in the eye while she cries and eats this massive horse song, and she will eat it, for earlier in the evening I kidnapped her mother and she knows if she doesn't eat it her mother dies. Afterwards we'll have some Ben & Jerry's.

>>10146029
thats what happens when you dont reply to the "reply to this post or your mother will die in her sleep" posts

btw your mother will die in her sleep unless you reply to this post

Taco Bell takeaway, spending the night in on her couch, watching whatever on TV and playing some video games.

went out for dinner (dolsot bibimbap) and a movie last night, Taco Bell on Valentine's was her idea from like a week ago.

no larp. I don't know if I'm lucky or not. I can smash some tacos, but it feels trashy

>>10146016
I will eat whatever my wife has cooked when I get home from work, then I will shower, play with our kids, put them to bed, fuck my wife, and go to bed.

>>10146016
At my place. Easy meal, fettuccine with a ricotta and pistachio sauce. Gonna drink wine and have sex afterwards. Then I'm on my computer for work for a couple of hours, I have a very big deadline.
We're gonna sleep together and don't care about valentine's day.

>tfw no gf

My spouse and I never go out for Valentine's, Mother's Day, or Father's Day. As someone who used to be a chef before I injured my back, I know how fucking hideous it is and refuse to participate in it.
So, we're staying home. I had a pastry chef friend of mine make a cake for us, and I'm making some simple braised shortribs, root vegetable mash, and a nice sharp endive and arugula salad to balance the richness.

>>10146016
>4chan
>significant other

Staying at home.
A neco is fine too.

>>10146618
lurk more, edgy newfag

>>10146016

I'll be cooking valentine's dinner for a full restaurant...

>>10146016
that place with like 500 beers

>go to a restaurant stuffed to the gills with humanity during the height of flu season when it's guaranteed utensils are not being cleaned properly where at least 30% of the cooks and patrons will be spreading the virus
How retarded would you have to be to needlessly expose yourself to the flu because corporate marketers created a fake holiday for you to waste money?

>>10146016
>significant other

I won't be taking her anywhere, we'll stay home and I'll cook for her.

>>10146632
>I'll be cooking valentine's dinner for a full restaurant...

Mate I know how you feel, I have school from 0730 to 1830... and I have to catch bus at 0500

>>10146016
Fuck valentines day. I have to make food for all you suckers that buy into corporate holidays.

I had a really nice meal planned and a bunch of different heart shaped baked goods but the flu hit me like a truck yesterday. Im still gonna do my best to put it together but im gonna look like shit which makes me mad, and I wont be able to eat much.

>>10146016
>celebrating (((Valentine's Day)))

>>10146457
>My spouse and I never go out for Valentine's, Mother's Day, or Father's Day.
absolutely based, fuck these fake holidays.

Nice fresh fish restaurant. Shit is expensive here in Kansas but they have the freshest stuff available and shes from the northwest, so it'll be a treat for her

>>10146043
Nah y'all are smart to do the real date the day before. Everywhere will be packed today. Plus how comfy and homey is it to eat some garbage (delicious) food with your loved one. I too am doing this though so maybe I've just got some cognitive dissonance going on.

Nowhere. Because neither of us give a shit about Valentine's day unlike the rest of you consumerist scumbags.

Like the dumbass I am a few weeks ago I picked up an evening shift for tonight not really thinking about what today is, so tomorrow night I'm going to take her to some of our favorite spots in little italy, visit the old stomping grounds, etc. Saturday night I'm surprising her with dinner at a really upscale place

>>10146457
Shortrib recipie? I've never had the panache and courage to do it

I am single.... and will be getting made up all cute and then working a ~6 hour food running shift, bringing nice meals to all these happy couples who have a better life than me. Maybe some cute boy will be there alone and ask me out. A girl can dream...

>>10146708
>Gets job cooking food
>Complains about cooking food

Why don't you just quit then you dumb faggot.

>>10146767
Maybe if you work the bar and chat up some guys that are drinking. But i doubt anything will happen if you're just waiting tables.

>>10146767
M U N I C H
U
N
I
C
H

>>10146788
What a dumb post. Life requires people to do things they don't want to do. Are you a neet or something?

>>10146767
ay bb u wan sum fuk. mi ruv u rong time

>>10146792
I know.... You're right. It's just nice to think that there's a possibility though, no matter how slim. The last thing I want on this night is to feel undesirable, so I'm gonna entertain this small fantasy for a bit

>>10146793
What?

>>10146714
This it's another way to jew you into spending cash.

>>10146736
This is a paterican taste right here.

>>10146016
sirloin, brussel sprouts and roasted potatoes

>>10146788
I work in a small tourist town where winter time is usually dead. When it only gets busy on fake scam holidays in the middle of slow season, it sucks because my body isn't used to 10+ hour days of working hard. If it was summertime, I wouldn't give a shit.

>>10146816
>What?
your first day on 4chink?

>>10146016
arugla salad, gnocchi al safrantino, chocolate dipped madeleines. Cote du Rhone and maybe an old-fashioned before bed.

>>10146816
waiting tables aint gonna make you enough money for some plastic surgery, hun. those fat tips are reserved for attractive servers.

>>10146885
Is it a reference to the shooting in Munich last year? I've been on this site for like 10 fucking years, but I'm just not quite that fluent in shitpost.

>>10146922
He's hoping you're in Munich

>>10146917
Needlessly rude, t b honest. But actually tips are pretty good even though I'm just a food runner now. I live in a nice area and work at a high-volume place, so server tips will be quite nice income once I'm promoted.

>>10146929
Is this really /soc/posting? I thought this kind of post is meant to be derisive of the place being mentioned. Like you see it a lot with London. That's why Munich just didn't make much sense to me. I know nothing about Munich.

>>10146962
Forgot to mention, I enjoy my job anyway. Once I'm there I won't be thinking about how I don't have a date for the night. I'll just be thinking about how there are a lot of guests to serve, and it should be a good night. We have like 5 food runners tonight, honestly I'll be amazed if we actually need so many, but I hope it is that busy.

>>10146739
Oh, braised short ribs are easy peasy. There's a number of recipes, using different ingredients, but the technique is the same.
>oven proof pan, on stove top, nice and hot. Very hot. I use a saucier pan, but a dutch oven works beautifully too.
>sear short ribs on all sides (if you live in an apartment or house with a not so great kitchen, be aware that it could get a little smoky)
>once you remove the short ribs, add a bit of oil or bacon fat to the pan (if the short ribs didn't leave enough)
>add chopped onion, and saute (I like to keep the onion in slivers instead of pieces, but that's up to you)
>once onion is soft and starting to brown, add a cup of red wine and bring to a boil
>let wine reduce down a bit, and add 2 tablespoons tomato paste, some smashed garlic, a bay leaf, 2 allspice berries, and several peppercorns.
>allow that mixture to cook for a few minutes
>add short ribs back to the pan and turn to coat with the sauce base
>add either rich beef broth, or beef broth and wine, to come about 3/4 way up the sides of the short ribs
>cover pan with a lid with a vent on the top, or leave the lid cracked, and place in the oven at 325F for 2 hours. (You can also go lower and longer, at 300F for 2 1/2 hours)
>>>>continued

>>10147034
>>>>>continued
>remove from oven. Transfer short ribs to a serving dish. Skim off the peppercorns, as much fat as you can, and remove the bay leaf. If the sauce is sufficiently thick to your taste, you can sauce the short ribs right away. If you think the sauce needs to thicken up, you can keep the short ribs warm in the turned-off oven (covered), and reduce the sauce on top of the stove until it's thick as you like. Then just season the sauce with salt and pepper to taste, and plate over or alongside some kind of good mash, and you're done.
>If you don't like having to skim off the liquid fats, you can make these a day before, refrigerate overnight, and pull of the solidified fat the next day, then reheat in the oven at 250F until hot.
>you can also use a full mirepoix (carrots, celery, onion) as the base, but then you will want to strain the sauce before serving to remove it.

Me and my hands (polygamy) are probably just going to have a protein shake

>>10147034
>>10147040
Not that guy, but thanks, saved.

>>10146962
Fuck off, you outed yourself as a newfag.

>>10146962
>Is this really /soc/posting?
Jesus Christ, I seriously doubt you've been here for then years.

>>10146962
is it summer already?

I haven't had a single date since 2012

I broke up with my gf a month ago

>>10147185
any particular reason why?

A grilled cheese and a bottle of very cheap scotch. I'm at my mother's house, visiting.
It's a treat.

>>10147191
You mean aside from being a boring loser with crippling self-worth issues?

>>10147202
damn that is dark

>>10146040
Replon

>>10147188
That's how you're supposed to do it so you don't have to buy shit

Getting some lasagna from an Italian deli down the road and drinking a couple special release sours with her since she likes the style and I can suffer through a glass or two for anal

>tfw no cute trap gf

>>10147229
Fuck you buddy sours are delicious

>>10147185
I haven't gotten laid or had a gf in over a decade. When I started doing heroin, I stopped caring about that shit cause it kills your sex drive. Then, when I got on methadone, my sex drive was even lower. Now I'm sober in a new place and don't know how to meet people. It feels like sobriety alienates me socially when all my coworkers go out drinking after work and I go home and jack off and play video games.

Gonna drive by my ex girlfriend’s house tonight and watch her fuck her new boyfriend through the window while eating Taco Bell

>>10147262
Is he of the colored variety?

>>10146016
lmao fuck that shit
After I finish my last class tonight I'm treating myself to a bacon king and large fry. Just got my tax refund, no more eating like a pleb for this guy

>>10147262
Can I be your bull please?

>>10147259
sorry to hear that anon

>>10147262

>>10147259
>heroine kills your sex drive
i want to kill my sex drive so badly. It is very distracting, any other ways to do it besides cutting off my balls?

>>10147289
Weed

>>10147267
No he’s a skinny guy with a deformed cranium and he owns an rpg store. Even larps apparently. My ex is really hot too so it’s revolting

>>10147290
not an option, that shit will make me stupid. i want to work like a maschine without thoughts of sex popping up in my head every five seconds.

>>10147298
Weed doesn't make you stupid. Being stupid makes you stupid

>>10147262

>>10146734
That's putting another light on it. I guess I'm lucky

>>10147292
Oh fuck yeah
Find out if he smells.

>>10147289
Spironolactone. All the benefits of cutting off balls without having to cut off balls. And if you don't take estradiol you won't grow tits.

>>10147182
>>10147163
>>10147170
You don't have to believe it, but I've been pretty regular on 4chan since 2009. Is this seriously all about the Munich post, or just my general tone? Y'all taking this shit too serious, my guys

Nothing today. Watch a movie maybe. My boyfriend has the flu and has been in bed for the past week, so he hasn’t even been able to leave the house to get me chocolates or anything. But we plan on going out (when he can actually eat something solid) next week.

>>10147292
>No he’s a skinny guy with a deformed cranium and he owns an rpg store. Even larps apparently. My ex is really hot too so it’s revolting

Lol I am in a similar situation. My ex is at least a 8/10 and she cheated on me with an ugly 5'6 Chinese guy with Ectrodactyly in both hands. Its fucking disgusting, he looks like a fucking lobster.

I have broken into her laptop dozens of times and she stores thousands of pics of them fucking, the number shoots up everytime I check. They ALL, EVERY SINGLE ONE, involve his freak lobster hands in some way, him putting them in her mouth and vagina, etc.

There are also folders called 'Chen Humiliation' which seem to be roleplaying photos where she is bullying him, for example, pictures of her dressed as santa with him opening gifts that are hand based such as gloves and handsaws. I think the most disturbing image involves him in a bathtub filled with dead lobsters (hundreds of dollars worth) with her pouring steaming water into the tub, and he is screaming.

>>10147259
How long did it take for you to get your sex drive back? My boyfriend’s a recovering addict and is using kratom as opposed to suboxone etc. and has zero interest in sex. Has for many months (including when he was using).

>>10147390
Reddit, Facebook, Tumblr, wherever you came from, you have to go back.

>>10147403
Holy shit, I want to believe this is true

>>10147410
Cute. /ck/ is my only social media.

>>10146626

I'm making steak au poive, pasta and spinach for her. And my third wheel roommate lmao.

pizza

>>10147290
Not him but weed makes me hornier than shit. Opiates generally make people lose interest in sex.

>>10147262
Sounds like fun, but won't you be too busy wanking to eat?

>>10147403
fake and ghee

>>10147467
Really? The sexual thoughts are fleeting when I'm high. I can fuck if I want but it always seems less important to me

>>10147408
When I started dropping below 10mg doses of methadone was when I started noticing tits out in public again. That's when I realized my sex drive was back.

>>10147526
Depends on the setting, but if I'm around even 5/10 grils I want to fuck them and generally am in a semi erect state. It's served me well, because if they're horny too and they notice the slight bulge I generally get it wet. Of course I'm not bad with the bants with grils when I'm horny, so theirs that.

>>10146795
No. Im working a job i like.

i mean she was looking right at me

>>10146040
no

>>10146043
>le we don't have to do anything on this holiday but we'll do something the day before and something trashy on it as well meme
congrats bro, get your kid's DNA checked

>>10147461
>baby lets celebrate our love, with obesity

we're texting each other from 800 miles away while we eat pathetic forever alone meals. She's away on a nursing contract for another month. Feels bad.

I'm 90% sure we're both snapchatting each other to prove we're not cheating. But I know deep down, that we're both likely to cheat if she does another 3 month contract.

Same thing I do every night. Drink cheap rotgut and beer, do some drunken cooking, gaming, and masturbate to anime girls. I actually had a gf last year but before that it had been maybe a decade since I had celebrated Valentine's Day.

>>10146041
Too soon...

>>10149307
why would she snap chat with you while cheating though
if you had a doorman to stop break ins and he only worked half an hour a day you're not any better off

>>10149330
The point is that back when we first moved in together 14 years ago, I cheated on her, and she suspects but has never had proof. It's created an awkwardness when we are apart. Where she's somewhat convinced I'm fucking around on her. But with what they're paying travel nurses on the east coast, we're making a killing on our combined income, and setting up for an early retirement. So hopefully we get past these feels.

Made her dinner. "Asian" she said but she has no fucking clue what that means. She came to me earlier in the week saying she got me noodles for the "asian" dinner and it was fucking rainbow farfalle pasta. I asked her "what the fuck am I gonna do with this?" christ almighty. The French have no fucking clue what cultural cuisine means cause half the planets been copying them for all of recorded history.

Anyways, did a spin on general tao

Shallow fried deboned thighs
sauce:
>shallots, minced
>ginger
>tomato paste
>blood orange juice + pulp
>salt and sugar
simmered that an hour

served it on a bed of corn sprouts with candied cashews and blood orange supremes

also fried some dumplings and made a soup. Box of (((((NOT FROM A DEPARTMENT/GROCERY STORE))))) chocolates and she was wet

ate dominos and fucked

>>10149485
>let me imply that the entire nation of france is a culinary retard like my gf

hmm, story checks out

>>10149559
Try working with these jackoffs, then living with one.

I love her so much, and my work
they are very antagonistic people

>>10146040

Bastard

>>10146040
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>10146016
>You do have on, right /ck/ ?
FUCK YOU CUNT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>10149782

i mean it's just brain damage at this point

>>10149787
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see, mods. i told you those railfan foamers were bad news.

Looks like someone's been eating their GMOs.

>>10146016
Would usually do a romantic dinner at home for the wife but we're in ICU waiting room because my kid got shot at school today and we haven't eaten since breakfast and I don't even feel hungry anymore and I'll probably eat a bullet if this doesn't turn out ok:(

>>10149820
That sux. I'd probably rather eat a bullet than eat hospital food too. I hope everything works out for you.

>>10146016
Nah. I had two beers though and worked tonight if that counts.

>>10146040
Joke's on you, immunity rotwieler's been covering my ass for years now.

>>10146016

My wife and I went over to her boyfriend's house for Valentines. He cooked up a great dinner of french onion soup, fillet of beef steak medium rare, mashed potatoes, roasted asparagus, wild mushrooms and homemade hazelnut ice cream for dessert. Afterwards I went to the living room to watch TV and get some work on my computer done while they went upstairs. I feel very lucky to have such a beautiful wife open to experimenting and pushing me to discover new things which turn me on.

>>10149565
>all of x country is a certain way
I’m guessing you’re fat, shart your pants and shoot fellow pupils

>>10146040
no u

>>10147403
at least you're putting that creative writing degree to good use

>>10146040
grrr

>>10146016
me and my hot date Pamela Handerson enjoyed a Large HOT AND READY pizza from Little Caesars, then she gave me a handy. Best 5 bucks I ever spent!

>>10147040
Holy fuck thank you this sounds so good. gonna buy me a fat pan today and try this

>>10146040
How does she die if I reply?

>>10146040
fuck you nigger

>>10146029
>>10146040
Kek