/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10131734
>made me go out and buy a 24 pack
your wife got a 24 pack.

>>10131750
Her and her friends drank it. I got too drunk because I had to drink all the bloody marys myself so I fell asleep before it was over but I don't think my wife drank the whole 24 pack by herself.

>>10131734
the only place i've seen this shit advertised is /ck/. this isn't even a reddit meme

>>10131764
>don't think my wife drank the whole 24 pack
24 pack of loads, kid.

>>10131776
Thats what I'm saying I don't think she could drink the whole 24 pack by herself. At the very least I would help her do it

Did you ask your wife's son his opinion on it?

>>10131791
They were at their father's house to watch the Super Bowl and only one of them is old enough to drink.

>>10131783
You idiot, your wife got spit roasted by her guy friends when you passed out of your faggy bloody mary’s.

>>10131734
It is too sweet for bloody Mary's

>>10131734
I think that 'vark being extremely sweet is a good thing, IMO. I love the cartoon aardvark on the bottle too

>>10131804
I made all of the refreshments and snacks for the game, we didn't have any BBQ. (I'm a vegan and my

>>10131813
My iphone cut the rest off ughhhh, I was saying I'm a vegan and my wife is a vegetarian. The guys brought wings and pizza to the party even though I made plenty of tofu bacon and edamame. I felt sick to my stomach waching them eat real meat.

OP's wife's asshole grew three sizes that day.

>>10131806
I drank 12 of them and they weren't too sweet at all. If anything they were perfectly sweet.

>>10131734
>extremely sweet
No thanks

>>10131841
It's a sauce for sweet-tooths (coincidentally that's my wife's pet name for me c: )

>>10131833
all the dick your wife sucked that day was probably perfectly sweet too

>>10131881
Project much?

>>10131734
I suspect when you woke up there wasn't any vark sauce left because they drenched their dongs in it and had your wife get her fill, but you do you.

>>10131952
There wasn't any vark sauce left because I used it all to make the bloody marys. I don't understand the other part of your post....

>>10131881
>>10131952
>>10131952
Why tf are you guys saying my wife cheated on me? They were just friends, she says she only hangs out with guys because she feels more comfortable around them and its less drama.

>>10131825
did you feel sick watching your wife swallow their meat

>>10132024
My wife is a vegetarian you idiot.

>>10131804

>it took this many replies for the bait to be taken

>>10132077
If you're a vegan why are you eating vark? it has eggs and mayo in it

>>10132077
I am suggesting that your wife performed oral sex on these men.

>>10131734
hahaha!!! I too love to spam forced /pol/ memes

This is a fun and comfy bait thread. Mods pls no delete

>>10132285
>'vark is a /pol/ meme
I have never once seen it on /pol/, not once. Why are you so obsessed?

Awful thread, pls delet this

>>10132281
She would never do that, they all go out bar-hopping together at least once a week and they are all very respectful towards her and make sure she gets home safe. They would never take advantage of her like that, they are just friends.

>>10131828
Beer is urinated out of the body though. Why would it be her butthole?

>>10132271
Does secret vark really have eggs and mayo in it???? wtf I'm a vegetarian and I've been eating it for 4 years and it doesn't say that on the ingredients list

>>10132452
because beer is full of sugar

>>10132861
>Does secret vark really have eggs and mayo in it????
Only about 2 tbsp but yes it does.
>it doesn't say that on the ingredients list
Obama made it legal to leave off the ingredients on a label if they are part of the secret recipe.

>>10132299
this aardvark meme is being spammed by one guy who is having an autistic fit because the sauce is made in portland and that portland is largely liberal. Basically he will scream and cry until people only talk about sauces made in conservative cities

>extremely sweet
No thanks

>>10132878
How did you come to this conclusion? I've seen this all over /v/, /fit/, /r9k/, /wg/, r/hotsauce, r/cooking, r/HotSauces and of course /ck/. Seems like a lot of work for it to be 1 dude lol

>>10132887
To be fair, the FDA forced them to make it milder because there were safety concerns about the cartoon aardvark on the label attracting children. Since they had to reduce the heat they compensated by adding more sugar. It's not my favorite hot sauce but it still has a little kick to it.

>>10132916
Don't reply to me ever again

>>10132904
you've seen someone making the same numale jokes over and over like this guy >>10132916

The embarrassing thing is that he thinks he's funny

>>10132934
Not him, but it does seem like something a numale would buy and eat.
What's up with everyone comparing it to spicy mayo? And why does it look like the front of a children's cereal box?

I've never tried it.

>>10132952
Yes you are him, and you are trying too hard

>>10132934
This, I mean it still makes me angry but it's not funny in the slightest and it reflects poorly on Secret Aardvark. The worst thing is I had to stop calling it vark, which I have been doing since 2013.

>>10132964
I'm not OP, but I kinda agree. I mean look at the label dude lol
I was talking about the habanero sauce btw not the spicy mayo.

>>10132928
>Extremely butthurt

>>10131734
I'm a "numale" from Portland and threads like this piss me off. No it's NOT 'sweet', it's more similar to a mustard than mayonnaise and no it does NOT have mayonnaise in it or any eggs. I don't even know who made that up, you can look at the ingredients if you don't believe me.

What's with all of the autistic cuckold threads being made about this sauce? I've literally never heard of it anywhere but /ck/

>>10133054
It's one of the top three chosen by Hot Ones, it was posted several times on the H3H3 productions forum and r/hotsauce and r/HotSauces have been raving about it for years. I haven't seen any of those cuckold threads though.

>>10133054
angry numales.

>>10133093
Being progressive and tolerant doesn't automatically make you a numale JFYI

>>10132887
It's the sweetest and mildest hot sauce on the market, and that's a good thing.

>>10131804
I dont think you know what spit roasted means.

>>10133234
If you don't know what spitroasted means you're probably a virgin.

>>10133128
being "progressive" and certainly "tolerant" makes you a joke though

>>10133252
You have to go back to your containment board. I may be a "numale" but at least I'm not as stupid as you.

>>10131813
Nobody asked if you were a vegan, but you had to tell us anyway. All them jokes are true.

>>10132878
>Old El Paso
Neeewww yaaaurrrk city?

>>10131734
>my wife and her guy friends

>>10133332
Am I supposed to be ashamed of it? Well, I'm not. No matter how much you carnists berate, bully, humiliate, intimidate and belittle me I will never back down from doing what's right.

>tfw you make a bloody mary with blood

>>10133392
Sounds like your Bloody Marys would come out extra virgin.

This is some serious bait or what?

>>10133343
Vark is made in Portland, not NYC

>>10133350
Girls can have guy friends too. My gf hangs out with like 20 different guys and some of them are her coworkers. I don't even think about it because I trust her. I'm not really allowed to have any female friends because she gets jealous but that makes sense considering I can't be trusted alone with them.

shit thread. if you want to troll retards go to /pol/

>>10133637
I don't go to /pol/ but feel free to stay there.

>>10133183
>sweetest
>mildest
>hot sauce
Pick 1

>>10131734
I can't eat 'vark for 2 months because my fiancee caught me looking at her sister. I promise I wasn't checking her out or anything, it was an honest mistake.

>>10133788
just stop dude you are really unfunny

>>10133613

>>10133810
It's not funny to me either. I love 'vark and now the only joy in my life is taken from me for something I didn't mean to do.

>>10133788
My condolences, anon. From now on just stare at your shoes if your in the presence of another girl around your fiancee. I wish you both the very best, congratulations of your engagement.

>>10133788
It is kinda scummy to look at your gf's sister desu.

>>10131841
If anything it's not sweet enough. My 3 year old step son loves 'vark' almost as much as I do but he says he wishes it tasted more like candy.

This fucking thread..
Why the fuck do I keep coming back to /ck/

>>10131750
>>10131776
>>10131791
>>10131804
>>10131828
>>10131881
>>10132024

>>10134061
Secret Vark is pretty good desu.

>>10134061
Why do you?

>>10134006
ever try Tiger's Sauce from Krogers? i tried it & thought it was too sweet, but it had a nice kick 2 it that may make it good 4 me 2 use as a marinade. i havent had vark sauce so i dont have a perspective 2 compare

>>10134142
Tiger Sauce was just too spicy for me, and it wasn't sweet enough for my liking. (I have a bit of a sweet tooth haha)
Definitely not as sweet as vark sauce but it's up there in terms of spiciness and complex flavor profiles. You should try vark if you get a chance, it's not spicy at all and it's incredibly sweet but I swear it can make a shoe edible.

>>10131825
Right I'll fucking bite
>iPhone
Faggot.

>>10134289
Not him but whats wrong with using a iPhone? They don't get viruses like androids do

>>10134142
>t. patrician

>>10131768
>the only place i've seen this shit advertised is /ck/. this isn't even a reddit meme
https://www.reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/6rhc9u/asked_my_wife_to_order_me_some_secret_aardvark_on/
https://www.reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/5oj9h3/got_my_first_bottle_of_secret_aardvark_and_it/
https://www.reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/gfpy2/i_see_your_sriracha_and_raise_you_secret_aardvark/
https://www.reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/5ywe7c/my_secret_aardvark_bottle_just_came_in_and_makes/
https://www.reddit.com/r/hotsauce/comments/7n2hhn/secret_aardvark_holy_crap/
https://www.reddit.com/r/hotsauce/comments/1s7rio/secret_aardvark_im_ploppin_it_everywhere/

>>10134438
>ploppin
disgusting

>>10134438
Anon BTFO

>Secret 'Vark Spicy Mayo is currently unavailable