/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Must be a new kind of ferrofluid.

>inb4 anon inb4's like 50 different things

>>10078292
How in the fuck?

>tfw you can now make roe made of "things"

>>10078373

fascinating, and i want one.

BaCoN

>>10078801
Its a scam, man. Buy some sodium alginate and a fifty cent pipet online. Chefs have been doing this for seventy years before this copper bracelet gizmo came out.

>>10078803
I feel disgusting just looking at that.

>>10078839
is this you my dramatic dude

huh

Someone post the egg man

>>10078803
Disgusting, I guess you are an american

>>10078903
surley egg king

>>10078913
what the fuck was he gonna do with the pot of eggs at the end?

i need to KNOW

>>10078921
Make them an egg sandwich too.

>>10078913
Those are big eggs

>>10078292
>arise, chicken

>>10078801
Listen to what >>10078823 said.

>>10078913
how the fuck does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

>inb4 brainloaf
>inb4 pumpkin spice hot dog
>inb4 mac & cheese with a mile of stretchy cheese
>inb4 banana full of spiders
>inb4 bitch gets incinerated at hibachi restaurant
>inb4 meat_sandwich.webm
>inb4 that claymation shit where a baseball turns into dice when he chops it
>inb4 ‘go’za with a mile of stretchy cheese
>inb4 waitress slams tray of food on businessman’s head
>inb4 shooting a laser at a fucking piece of bacon
>inb4 mexicans pouring clamato on ramen and doritos in a Styrofoam container
>inb4 hotdog w/mayo balloon explosion
>inb4 LADbible presents a full English fry-up in a partitioned cast iron pan; automatic 12 replies
>inb4 Aunt Myrna's party cheese casserole
>inb4 the culling of the dirt rockets
>inb4 frankenegg.webm
>inb4 the food porn webm with jack edited in at random intervals
>inb4 curry chicken skewers and 8 replies about how gay that guy's face looks when he eats it
>inb4 twisty pasta machine
>inb4 a thousand facebook tasty videos
>inb4 deconstructed/reconstructed big mac
>inb4 gyroscopic chicken grill
>inb4 the virgin in the egg booth next to king of the egg fortress
>inb4 pineapple on a fucking pizza
>inb4 the giant platter with 10 different variations of bbq pork
>inb4 that one guy asks if the turkish coffee has pipes underneath the sand
>inb4 the pizza crust is literally a pineapple
>inb4 fried cheesey bread corn cob fuckery
>inb4 taco town
>inb4 somebody's entire culinary squid murder folder
>inb4 anime pancakes
>inb4 turkish salt man
>inb4 waitress inserting hotdog in vagina
>inb4 bulimic chick eating 20 burgers in one setting
>inb4 bee dough
>inb4 black tofu made in trash
>inb4 Gordon Ramsay coocaine
>inb4 bartender cutting a huge icecube into a diamond
>inb4 chinese man cutting onions on ballon which is top of nails
>inb4 barrel cooked chicken turns into literal ashes
>inb4 girl gazing into your soul as she cuts onions

>>10079232
might as well just delete the thread

>>10079232
read the thread faggot, doesn't count cause you already got inb4ed so you just wasted your time typing all that lmao

>>10078292

>>10079240
or make new webms?

>>10078803
>yurocucks will defend this

>>10078292
>pikmin

>>10079548
thats were all the flavor is located

>>10079251
I hate buffets

>>10079220
>implying he has leftover eggs at the end of the day

>>10079548
>grease trap is full of grease
wow who'd have thought

>>10079251
that looks nice

most buffets in my area just give me food poisoning :(

>>10079515
wtf how does he look like the rock at the end

>>10078883
Is this guy eating pizza retarded?

>>10079578
because he drank a gallon of milk

>>10079251
$30??? There are some nice breakfast/brunch buffets near me for $20 or less. That doesn't look like anything special.

>>10079220
he has to cook them all before he can get out

>>10079630
rats are so sweet

>>10079834
>that file name
fucking kek

squirrel is tasty m8s

>>10079251
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st21dIMaGMs

>>10079873
>drops the nut
he knew

>>10079630

>>10079924
Why would someone do that to a snake?

>>10079928
Janitors are moving fast lately

>>10079930
Good; /ck/ fucking needs it.

>>10078883

>Using the fork and knife as a clamp

I actually said "Excuse me ?" out loud

>>10078292
>tfw cant control ducks
why even live?

>>10078803
That would be so much better with ground chicken or turkey

>>10078937
those are ducks

>>10078921
>>10079220
he has to make all le eggs xD

>>10078913
What country is this?

>>10079232
faggot

>>10079251
pretty good buffet but generally by the time you get there its all messy and theres stuff missing

>>10079548
Is this Malcom in the Middle?

>>10079987
yeah

>>10078921
>>10078921
He gas to maje all the eghs XD

>>10078921
>>10079220
He has to make all of thise eggs

>>10079965
>arise, duck

>>10079232
I've posted them crab webm's in several threads. Please include me in the pasta next time. Exclusion is a form of bullying.

>>10080047
I'm about to bully the fuck out of you for all eternity by never posting those webms ever again.

just meh

>>10080066
I mean, at least they're bald. Easy cleanup

>>10078913
How does he leave how does he get out

>>10080161
read the thread faggot, someone has already asked that

>>10080161
He doesn't. He was born of those eggs. When he reaches the last of them, it hatches and birth's the next days surly egg vato.

>>10079987
>>10079992
Dewey in the Rear*

>>10079251
>$30 buffet
>people tend to eat stuff that adds up nowhere near $30

i bet theres a ton of faggots out there that pay that price and they only eat like 1 bran muffin and maybe a few slices of fruit.

>>10079251
>filming
>pointing at shit that's already in frame
Fucking shitskin

>>10079928
>>10079930
what was it?
was deleted so fast the archive didn't catch it

>>10080239
It was a snake going backwards into someones asshole. It was obviously reversed; someone shoved a snake into their ass and it slowly slithered out. Not a small snake either, like a boa or something.

>>10080558
this is some satanic shit

>>10080582
>torching tenderloin
wtf

Where's that webm of the asshole spending 8 years making a ball of ice for a drink?

>>10079975
Eggland.

>>10080619
And to think... I hesitated.

>>10080066

What the fuck is wrong with amerifats? Not one person laughed.

>>10080582
Is eating that beef even safe?

>>10080631
Raw beef is almost always safe to eat, the exception being ground beef from the store which is merely dodgy.

>>10080624
We have such sights to show you... Jesus wept.

>>10080624
Looks a lot like a jaccard. They fix shitty steaks and I take no shame in saying I used to own one.

Turns out a ton of tiny blades cutting connective tissue makes things tender, go figure.

>>10080636
Oh ok

>this kills the al/ck/oholic

>>10080650
Devil glass. That's pure evil right there.

>>10080656
In that video he knew he messed up and remade it, he didn't think that was okay

>>10080604

>>10080670
do you think someone gave him the recipe as sabotage?

>>10080686
Literally no one gives a fuck.

>>10080619
Salmon acupuncture.
The Japanese are so far ahead of us barbarians.

>>10080688
maybe you're right but what if you're wrong?

>>10080066
They look like mafia. Bet that waitress isn't around anymore.

>>10080698
you think you're funny? dumbfuck normie faggot.

>>10080715
Are we Pete Posting?

>>10078937
>>>/mlp/

>>10080718
That's an ATHF reference.

please do not bully me while I post these rare finds

>>10078779
I used to think Bjork was lame but this makes me horny.

>>10080724
Billy Witchdoctor I believe. Yup

>>10080739
One convenient location. In Africa.

>>10080683
How is this better or different than cutting its face of with scissors?

>>10080749
Presumably they feel less because they are frozen and the puncture to the nerve center is faster. I don't know, I'm just a whale biologist.

>>10080724
How new are you

>>10080779
>American (((((cheese))))) product slices

>>10080779
>plastic """cheese"""
I didn't really feel strongly for this faggot before but now I'm mad as fuck

>>10080779

I've never bothered to look up who this guy even is, but now I'm not sure that he is a real chef and ever intended to be taken seriously.

>>10079622
>>10079941
This guy is pointing out annoying ways of eating idiots, its a "joke" sometimes we do "jokes"

>>10080823
his Nick name is salt bae and he's from turkey and owns restaurant's

>>10080840
Doesn't excuse him for being an obvious faggot.

>>10078779
Where can I find this with sound?

>>10080713
Here in my place anyone that looks Sicilian(turk) disappears

>>10078803
The bell peppers make it healthy

>>10080872
Fuck yeah cocaine

>>10080887
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

>>10078803
soy sauce and honey? why would you pour that on top of bacon and cheese. disgusting

>>10080889
not sure if handicapped or just clowning for the customers

>>10078913
some say he never made it out

>>10080683
>>10080749
>>10080756
you attack its weak point for massive damage

the thing that I dont get about these webm threads is that almost every webm posted are just videos showcasing the worst conceivable foods or terrible culinary skills. isnt this supposed to be a cooking board? why arent we posting more webms that promote the art of cooking instead of giving idiots like Jack a platform

>>10080872
I have a feeling this is the guy they will pick to represent humans when the inevitable "man-vs-robots pizza making challenge to see who is faster" comes.

>>10080779
Great way to ruin a perfectly good piece of meat.

>>10080907
You can always make some.

>>10079688
well shit, no wonder he's so surly

>>10080907
pretty new to /ck/ webm threads? it's been like this forever m8

>>10080913
How?

>>10080918
To be fair cooking is often a lengthy process. We are limited to 2 minutes and 3mb for files and it is much easier to capture something silly or gross in that time than something masterful.

>>10080919
YouTube downloader and webm converter. it's a start anyway.

>>10080918
not new just really getting tired that people would rather post intentionally shitty webms than quality ones because "lol memes"
>inb4 make your own

>>10080943
Be the change that you want to be.

>>10080928
Cool. Gonna make some hot Nigella webms. Keep an eye out for them, /ck/

>>10080949
Protip: If the filesize is too big increase the speed. In most webms a 10-15% increase in speed is not very noticeable and saves a lot of file size

>>10080764
It is an ATHF reference, retard. I think the fact that you associate it with mlp means you're the one who has to go back to your containment board.

>>10080943

>>10080924 put it well. anons that makes webms would rather do edgy one rather than a creative one because of the limits.

>>10078292
well that's obviously Carl

>>10079515
WTF, I love milk now

>>10079630
>kissing pets

>>10080872
Look at that mother fucker go. If only I could have been born with that kind of focus.

>>10078883
I eat pizza with a fork if the entire layer of cheese feels like it'll be torn out with the first bite

>>10081043
Get sharper teeth.

>>10080764
It's still an ATHF reference, you blithering idiot.

>>10078779
Who is she? I want to see more.

>>10081022
>not being huwite

>>10078779
I didn't know I could feel this way. It's not love, but it's something similar.

>>10081176

>>10080795
>>10080823
I'm pretty sure it's cheddar

>>10081188
please no

>>10079251
That's a weak ass buffet for 30. Also those bagels look horrible.

>>10079232
You are missing a lot m8

>>10081301
Video cameras in phones must have made life so much worse for the natives of these tourist areas. Before they only had to suffer making stuff and serving entitled pricks, now they have to be posted on Facebook as well.

>>10080066
>entitled to 20% tip

>>10080734
Bjork?

>>10080764
Not nearly as new as you

fresh webm

>>10078803
the cheese is too much

>>10081438
the man loves his chanko

>>10081438
chunkynabe :)

>>10080604
that's some Quake 4 shit right there.

>>10081438
Why does this fatnip rub a spoon on his inner arm at 1:30

>>10080683
>caring about the fact that it takes a crab 3 seconds to die in boiling water

>>10079251
Fire and ice is pretty dope. You grab the raw food you want and they cook it in front of you

>>10080872
*funniculli funniculla plays with accelerating tempo*

>>10080606
>that machinery
>ice
Is frozen water really that profitable?

>>10079251
>average hotel buffet
>points in disbelief at the toaster
He must be an actual third worlder

>>10080582
>here's how it's (de)constructed
I want to hurt myself

>>10080558
FUCKING LMAO

>>10080779
>American cheese on a good bit of beef like that
are you sure, "salt bae?"
guy's a fucking meme, cunt. hate him

>>10079630
those are big eyes

>>10079630
:3

>>10079548
This is so satisfying

>>10081063
Showry. She's cute and hilarious.

>>10081438
made me hungry

>>10081588
extremely RUDE. split is a great city

>>10081560
Someone has to do it

>>10078818
People complain about wasting food but shit all over "mechanically extracted meat". Really made me think.

>>10081651
Nah

>>10079251
You can get this for free at plenty of hotels in the US... $29 seems a lot to pay for soggy food.

>>10080556
God, I love tiny webms. They make me so happy.

>>10081438
>americans like chicken soup right? well this is not chicken soup

>>10080558
Ah. Guarantee they're already dead. They're burning off the hairs.

>>10080913
Why would you eat off of a cutting board that regularly has raw meat on it? I highly doubt this person completely washes it each time.

>>10081704
If you say so, Kenshiro.

>>10081438
Whats the large round and white vegetable?

>>10080066
Amerifat seatings.....

>>10079232
Who is this cutie?

>>10078913
Does he break all the eggs?

>>10078913
I have watched this ten times and i still dont understand how he doesnt break all the eggs to get out

>>10081531
might've had food on his arm from mixing or something
>>10081770
daikon

>>10079220
>>10078921
>>10079973
>>10080161
>>10080903
>>10081791
>>10081797
>>10080006
>>10079688
>>10080915
congratulations you faggots: you killed it.

>>10078902
That beer bottle, is that a Puntigammer?

>>10080650
That's sort of how toilets work, isn't it?

>>10079251
>$30 for some lukewarm pancakes, cold bacon, fresh fruit, and oatmeal.

Buffets are garbage.

>>10080943
>>10080960
This. I try to edit together actual recipes and techniques sometimes, but it's really rare to find a video that shows every step clearly without voiceover.

>>10080872
oh my god, a minimum wage worker who actually deserves $15 an hour.

>>10082049
how do you eat it

>>10080889
>too much sugar
>2nd one is spread unevenly
>parkinson tier movement
is he /ourguy/?

>>10078818
too bad id software is gone and we won't see this in the new quake games

>>10080558
mmm chicharones

>>10080924
Those eggs are $6.99 a dozen.

>>10080908
He's the John Henry of pizza

>>10082008
>buffets are garbage because of this buffet
t never been to a good buffet before

>>10082049
>Why the fuck did you bring me a balloon? I wanted the food I paid $400 for.
>Ah. You see, sir. It's gastronomy. ;) ;) ;)
Perfect example of: Just cuz you can doesn't mean you should.

>>10080171
>France
>Most arrogant: France
>Least arrogant: France

>>10080604
>stroggification.webm

>>10082059
Pipes under the tablecloth.

>>10082257
wat

>>10080907
You kinda learn more from watching fuck-ups than watching some celebrity meme chef cooking.

>>10080656
>>10080686
>>10080698
>>10080728
Can someone post the YOU DIED webm with Jack slowly disappearing in the background?

>>10080715
I'm getting a lot of gay vibes from this. In fact, I don't think it would be out of place in a gay porno movie.

>>10082148
don't forget the sneaky nose pick

>>10081438
>throw a bunch of random asian shit in a pot and boil it
Wow, brilliant.

>>10080683
GIANT ENEMY CRAB

>>10080779
He looks like a Sacha Baron Cohen character.

>>10080683

>get it drunk
>turn it over
>lift it's tail flap

For a second there I thought this might have been going in a different direction.

>>10082700
tfw crabby thought sexytime
tfw crabby got stabby stab stab

>>10081680

>>10080639
>wear gloves to avoid burning
>jalapenos
as a white person i find this pathetic.

>>10080779
Imagine your career being defined by a shitty meme.

>>10082797
? jalapenos still contain capsaicin, you can still burn yourself if you dont wash your hands after touching (which is stupid all in itself).

my coworker was saying he was cutting jalapenos at work, then went to the bathroom (without washing his hands) and burnt his dick

>>10079232
Why is one boob bigger than the other

>>10080683
ATTACK ITS WEAK POINT
FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE

>>10080145
Those shows are all fake, dude.

>>10080558
Lost harder here than I have in any YLYL thread in years.

>>10081651
>t. delusional slav

>>10082049
i hate modernist cooking

>>10079232
>bitch gets incinerated at a hibachi restaurant
pls post this

>>10082054
>steel wool it while its still alive
ouch

>>10082977

Wow, it adds literally nothing of value, but I still want one.

>>10082867
That mint shower gel stuff does more donger damage than jalapenos.

>>10080628
>>10081352
>>10081776
Their british you fucking tards

>>10080713
>They look like mafia
but they don't though you fucking retard

>>10081809
Veeeeeee!~

>>10082934
What shows?

>>10080907
Good food doesn't get any (You)s

>>10080715
literally everyone can do this without training

>>10083450
Post a video of you doing it then.

>>10083450
I definitely couldn't do that

>>10083456
>chaddeepthroatsmassivebbc.webm

>>10083450
Speed eating is harder than it looks.

>>10081438
this guy is a mongolian sumo wrestler btw

>>10083404
>how to waste an emu egg

>>10083007
it literally has no brain

>>10082054
Well that is one thing I can safely say I have absolutely no desire to eat.

>>10083456
>>10083477
>>10083482
>HURR U CANT EAT BURRITO
i literally eat that exact same burrito in 2 bites every other day because i work out and need alot of calories

>>10083511
So post a video of you doing it.

>>10083512
alright give me 10 minutes

>>10083511
>i literally eat that exact same burrito in 2 bites every other day

>>10083515
It takes you ten minutes to take 2 bites? Pathetic.

>>10080558
>* "You spin me round" plays in the back *

>>10083094
>cutting an alvacado like that
rip ringers and palms

>>10083335
just use clean wrap

>>10083545
>alvacado

>>10083404
does it taste like a normal egg but really big or completely different? Never had any eggs outside chicken and fish eggs.

>>10083515
>10 minutes
He did it in 22 seconds.

>>10083512
>>10083520
>>10083521
https://hooktube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
i told you fuckers it was easy

>>10083559
Supposedly tastes the same but the texture is different

>>10083555
avocado

>>10083562

>>10083562
I can't believe I got tricked by that gay dead meme
thanks for the throwback I guess

>>10083571
the smug from my comedic genius is blinding

>>10080047

>>10081667
most continental breakfasts are not nearly this nice (not to say it's unbelievably nice itself). if you're getting this quality, it's not free - you've already paid for it in the cost of the room.

>>10081151
I would pay thousands to watch LA Beast and Furious Pete fuck.

>>10080171
>Greece

>>10083718

>>10083094
who comes up with this shit?

>lets take an avocado, the fruit with the highest fat content
>and add an egg with all its cholesterol
>and wrap that in bacon, the fattest and saltiest cut of meat
>and then add even more salt for good measure

its just pure lipids and salt you need some other flavor in there

>>10083789

>>10083791
>perfectly sized gap for the yolk
>pop it anyway

why nigga

>>10083862
i don't know why but the rapid dumping of the olive oil with the spoon pisses me off more than anything else in the video

there's no way this tastes anything like eggs

>>10080558

kaioken x10

>>10079251
I keep thinking my town misses a place to get a good breakfast outside of hotels.
Actually I should check if I can pay hotels only for breakfast.

>>10083920
They're vegan, how would they know

>>10083920
To be fair, when explaining to someone what tofu is like in miso soup I've compared it to egg whites. And the salt they use is supposed to smell like boiled eggs. There's no way the yolk tastes anything like a real yolk with corn, turmeric, yeast, garlic, and olive oil in it though. At best it'll kind of smell and taste like an overcooked boiled egg, but the texture is probably not too far off.

>>10078745
>get home from working all night in Chinese egg food factory
>kids just waking up as you head for your 4 hours of sleep
>"Mom, can we have omelettes!???"
>mfw

>>10080872
>making a dominos pizza but every time it's shit it gets faster

>>10081438
I still don't understand
what the fuck is chanko

>>10084026
>welcome to a modern world
as everything gets made faster and cheaper quality hits the fan

>>10084049
mixed stuff soup
its made on fish broth if i remember the vid correctly

>>10083010
The best value is the smile on someones face when you pack it in their lunch.

>>10084049
>>10084069
Also a common weight gain food for sumo wrestlers

>>10080872
i feel ashamed of being italian compared to this guy

>>10083783
I want to marry LA Beast, my god

>>10080872
>that'll be $45.92, plus tip

>>10083477
>it contains no sodium, soy, or MSG
THESE THINGS ARE NOT BAD FOR YOU FUCK OFF ALREADY YOU PSEUDS

>>10083450
i've seen bulimic girls eat even faster if they get drunk.

>>10084249
>soy is not bad for you
I wonder who wrote this post

>>10083562

>>10084091

B-but I don't have anyone to pack a lunch for.

>>10083477
>contains no sodium
Somehow I doubt that.

>>10083477
This message brought to you by the nooch growers association of america.

>Hey bby I'm a nooch farmer

>>10083562
I knew what this was after looking at the replies and I still clicked to listen to some Rick.

>>10083408
God I hate that cheese has been making me gag lately and I have no fucking idea why.

>>10083554
I think you mean cling wrap.

Anyway, looks like a neat gimmic, I guess, but a massive pain in the ass to do every time you just want to cover a jar. I agree with the cling wrap.

>>10084277
Get a wife and kids then.

>>10084554
If I couldn't eat cheese I think I would end my life.

>>10084587
Yeah, it's weird. I fucking love cheese but I can hardly even look at pictures of pizza right now without feeling sickly in my throat. Shit came out of no where.

>>10082859
What the fuck is that? Chop suey?

>>10080872
>Wow I'm being video taped? Gotta work fast only this once.

>>10085246
The girl was timing him on how fast he could make the pizzas, you retard.

>>10080872
>working that hard for fucking dominoes

>>10078913
I wonder what they taste like and do they produce an eggy kind of fart smell?

>>10085602
haha

>>10080928
>>10080949
or take video of your own cooks and convert it to webm. oc would be better than some flashy asshole i can see on another website.

>>10078779
>tfw a dead fish gets more action than me