/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10076851
Order your own you fuck

>>10076851
Unless you are after an assisted suicide, you can fuck right off.

I do this all the time.

>>10076851
>thanks bro, just gonna grab a tendie real quick too

*cough*
*cough*
i have a cold.

>>10076851

I do this shit to my family when they order a pepperoni pizza. Kiss your topping goodbye.

>>10076851
"No."
Or just agressively lick your fingers in-between each grab and excessivly rifle around in the box from the start.

>>10077063
Neither of those will stop my quest for free fries

Sure man, nothing wrong with sharing with friends. After all, I'm not a possessive fatass who gets aggressive over food.

>>10077154
Thanks, I was wondering if the whole board was cancerous.

>>10077154
Fuck you. At least ask first before you stick your fingers in my food.

>>10076851
I don't mind as long as their hands are clean and they ordered food too, sharing food is part of the dinning experience

>>10077043
NIIIIIIIIIIGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER,YOU WANT TO DIIIIIIIIIIIE?

If you ask, have as many as you like. But just ask first.

>>10077030
>>10077033
>>10077063
t. 250lb+

>>10076851
And I'm just gonna grab my open carry sidearm real quick.

>>10076851
No prob dude, I'm just gonna get a bite of your burger real quick thanks m8.

>>10076851
“Yeah man, sure thing. Also cut me off a piece of that steak and let me try some.” Or something like that, it’s called compromise.

Over my dead body or if you hold my dick in your mouth for 15 seconds

>Just gonna grab some soup bro

>>10076851
no problem dude, if you ask for it i dont mind

>>10077610
Stop making fun of my Indian heritage.

>>10077588
anon putting small things in peoples mouths is a choking hazard

>>10076851
yeah man, have a few, no worries

>>10076851
“Who are you ?”

*licks all the fries like a nigger*

>>10076851
I know, I already offered you some.

>>10077543
230 lbs, but I am 6' 6" and I would not have to hold you down to have my way with you. I can just stare you down.

If you want fries, order fries like I did.

>>10077063
just piss in the box right from the start like dogs mark their territory

>>10077639
i bet you're the funniest kid in all the school

>>10077700
Look @ this big babbi crying over some fried potatoes. We really need to redefine the autism spectrum to include dipshits like you.

>>10077950
I don't want you touching my food. You fuck yourself and wipe your ass with those hands. If you want food, get your own.

>>10077700
>getting this butthurt about sharing a fries
damn fatty calm down no one is gonna be intimidated by michelin man you tryhard faggot

>>10078053
I don't try anything. I do. If you did too your life would be better and so would your posts.

>>10077979
>fine with half a dozen random strangers handling your food
>not fine with a friend touching it
Yeah I don't think that's your actual concern.

>>10078069
You are right... my problem is it is fucking intrusive. I get what I intend to eat. If you want my leftovers, you are welcome to them when I am done. If you grab for my food I am going to hurt your feelings. Know your place. I'd buy someone I considered a friend a meal. Don't touch my shit.

>>10078069
those strangers are supposed to be washing their hands
i know for a fact my friends don't

>don't get anything because not about to eat a meal
>they eat and don't finish it
>they straight up offer me
>accept because why not have a tasty fry
>HAHAHA OH I KNEW YA GON DO DAT HAHAHAHAHA

niggers

>>10076851
No problemo...help yourself, bro

>>10077688
Erm, do black people lick potato fries then?

>>10078086
Man, you must eat with people you hate.

>>10078137
I am not exactly friendly. I grew up with a lot of siblings... it gives you a warped sense of property maybe.

>>10076851
Have all of them bro.
Don't know what possessed me to order those poisonous carbs in the first place.

>>10078155
>grew up with a lot of siblings
Yeah, I grew up with 4 brothers and although we had enough food, when you're an active growing boy (before kids spent their lives on the internet) you're always hungry and meal time was like a wolfpack in the tundra. When we started bringing gf's to the house they were always shocked at how we grabbed food and guarded our plates. Real survival of the fittest, "Call of the Wild" shit, man. Old habits die hard, I still bristle when my wife reaches for something on my plate but I suppress it.

>>10078064
>I don't try anything. I do. If you did too your life would be better and so would your posts.

>>10077548
>gun owners confirmed for easily triggered cucks
>>10077700
you're just a tall fatass
>>10078053
>no one is gonna be intimidated by michelin man
truly underrated

>>10077688
Lol, do americans REALLY do this?

>>10078155
>>10078560
Stop right here, you're just feral baboons. Even coming from Africa I've never heard of such savagery, and reading you bragging about it as some """real survival of the fittest""" is really embarassing.

I don't understand how anyone can care, it's just one fucking fry. The next big depression is not gonna start because of it, it doesn't fucking matter.

>>10078691
It is not one fry... it is a pattern of behavior and a way of seeing the world. Get your own shit if you are hungry. I did.

>>10076851

>I want a broken hand: the action

>>10078739
How about you are having dinner with someone, almost always a woman, and they want to try what you got before even you do? Bitch, I got what I wanted. I want all of it, and none of yours. Fuck off with that, and do not dare ask me to hold that bag of useless chaos and tampons you lug around.

>not just getting a thing of fries for the table the moment you sit down
Do you even lunch bro?

>>10077030
>Not knowing about chip tax
If you prefer chips you have to let everyone at your table grab one. It's just the way the world works, millennial.

>>10078598
It's not just survival skills & such.

I remember back in my teens there was one kid who was ALWAYS mooching off EVERYBODY. If that's a pattern, it needs to be stopped.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eU01aFoBT4

>>10076851
>"Ah, sweet! Anon is making dinner. Just going to get a quick taste, bro."

>>10077154
This, glad not everyone is a retard

>>10080060
what needy "me too" sort of shit is this. If you want fries, get some of your own. If you are not hungry enough for a small order of fries, you don't need to taste someone elses meal. What sort of misplaced attempt at inclusion or dominance display are you up to? You are not even the same species as me. Can't be.

>>10080096
over thinking and getting overly defensive about sharing a couple fries like this shows how much of a fucking autist you are, fucking fatties have shit for brains holy shit

>>10076851
>>10080052
>having friends

lmfao jokes on you

/ck/ really does have some of the best copy pasta on this board. I would say /g/ is the only one close enough to rival.

>>10077136
enjoy your super aids

>>10080136
On this site*

>>10080121
Fuck you and your need for free food. Nothing wrong with me at all. How about I just finger your wife. Come man. Just two fingers.

>>10076851
>proceeds to grab several instead of one

>>10076851
Can a nigga borrow a French fry?

>>10077700
>230 lbs, but I am 6' 6" and I would not have to hold you down to have my way with you. I can just stare you down.
is this before or after you unsheath your katana?

>>10080348
it is right at the time you shut the fuck up and stop making eye contact.

>>10077610
KEEP YOUR FINGERS OUT OF MY SOUP!

>>10080365
what else would you do to me big boy?

>>10076851
Not before you grab this dick!

*Unzips dick*

>lemme just grab a nacho bro

>>10080385
watch you try to make yourself even smaller as you continue to avoid eye contact like a beaten dog.

>>10080449
arent you going to spank me?

>>10077548
>he open carries
I bet you carry a 1911 in fuddy five too, you fucking retard.

>>10080484
no. guns are for cunts.

>>10080491
t. someone who doesn't want to take responsibility for themselves

>>10078762
>"what would you like ma'am?"
>"nothing, I'm not hungry"
>she dares reach for my food
>stabs her hand
>"Sorry honey, you aren't hungry. I am."

Had a bitch say she was helping me save money. No, you're just an immature person who doesn't want to have to eat all their veggies and only wants the "oh that looks good" bits.

>>10076851
Why does the speed of the fry snatching matter?

>>10080501
t. prize fighter

>>10080515
>muh inefficient self defense
maximum brainlet

>>10080505
I think it is an attempt at dominance thing... like asking you to hold their fucking purse. I am not having it.

>>10080524
I break eyesockets faggot. in the real world you would do my laundry while I ate your lunch.

If you can't do it in less than a fifth of a second I'll have to write you up for it.

>>10080532
t. triggered incel

>>10080583
t. at a safe distance for now

>>10080599
how do you intend to close the gap on someone with a gun?

>>10078155
I had three brothers and two sisters, and it taught us to share. It probably depends on your genetics. Animals are always animals.

>>10080603
if you don't want to shoot, you are eating your gun. If you do, you are a murder and a coward. Point is you would never even attempt to start shit. I earned my attitude. I didn't buy it.

>>10080532
>break eyesockets faggot. in the real world you would do my laundry while I ate your lunch.

>>10080614
killing isn't murder, if you're fighting a fair fight you've already lost ;)

>>10080532
You sound like a little bitch lol

>>10080622
shooting an unarmed actual man at a distance is murder.

>>10080647
>have a ranged weapon to defend self
>better let them get close
Left mentality is always great.

>>10080647
that's not what murder is

>>10080646
and you sound 12 and wishful.

>>10080657
How else you gonna go for my fries?

Taking one is fine, no worries there, but ask before you take more. That is all.

>>10076851
What kind of seasoning should I put on my fries?

>>10077154
>be skeleton
>try to eat a full meal
>everyone wants some
>go home and stare at ribs in the mirror while being lightheaded

>>10080484
45 acp is not that bad. 40S&W and those faggots carrying .22 handguns are just pathetic though.

For handguns I'm a 9x19 and 10×25mm kind of guy. 9x19 for daily CC.

>>10076851
You know wat's the worst? Someone asking for some of your food before you've even tried it.

>>10080449
this nigga for real?

>>10081186
I used to think the same, until I realized .40 is basically better in every way than .45 other than projectile diameter.
Still worse than 9, 10, or .357 sig tho

>>10080667
Fuck all your replies are so cringe. This is why people think your a fucking spaz m8

>>10082450
Gonna try and threaten me with a gun pussy?

>all of the faggy soyboys in this thread.
go back to 9gag faggots

>>10078762
>useless chaos
Fuck off.

>>10082450
>cringe
You’ve got to go back.

>>10082702
You fuck off with your dizzy bitch anchor full of coupons and hair ties that even your dumb ass does not want to hold.

>>10082707
>not getting the reference

>>10082720
purses

>>10076851
sure my dude, but fuck off from now on. One means ONE (1) fry. Not two. Not three. Not one now, and then one tomorrow. ONE, Just fucking one.

>>10076851
Having calculated that the negative impact on your opinion of me which would likely arise from denying you this fry (that opinion having been built over an extended period of time, and at points having involved the expenditure of both significant personal energy and financial resources) would outweigh the value of the fry and the probable shift in your conception of our relationship toward a state of slightly increased dominance on your part, I have elected to permit this transgression and will allow you to proceed with the extraction and consumption of the salted potato morsel in question, "bro."

>>10082474
Why waste my time when you'll just hang yourself soon enough. You broken little man

>>10082706
Stay pressed tho

>>10083788
You do not use it for anything productive and just sit their fingering your gash.

>>10078727
No one is an island, you are able to read this only because other people taught you how to. You cam be your own man and still share. The only mind set it shows if you can't share is that you only see things in a simple, not complicated ways and don't understand that real world is much more complex and flexible than a few ideals.

>>10083826
Use the energy you are running your mouth on to get your own fries. Fucking entitled begger.

>>10083831
I was imagining myself to the position of the one the fry is being taken from. Surely if the other guy would have wanted a whole lot of fries s/he would have bought them. But s/he just wants one, so who gives a fuck? Know the volume of every action, and this one's is small.

>>10083843
No. It is the entitled behaviour of a selfish asshat. I got the food I wanted. I did not get any for you. Itis a dominance thing. DO NOT TOUCH MY FOOD.

>>10083861
Overplaying your dominance will only make you look small.

>>10083871
My frame will clear that right up.

>>10080484
Impeccable taste, I got the re-colors they just released
For the cute girls I mean

>>10083875
t. fatass

>>10083989
t. picturing anons ass lustfully

>>10000000

>>10083861

>>10084095
I would feed the gorilla. Hi buddy.

>>10084095
>>10084104
That gorilla looks like he's considering buttsex on your butt.

>>10084161
Most higher primates do. It is fairly awesome.

>>10077745
Can confirm this works.
In fact, you can even get free fries this way by pissing onto other people's food.

>>10077154
Idk i used to be super possessive of food but then in college all my friends were Chinese and we all do the BIG SHARE when it comes to food and idk now idgaf.

>>10080424
*lifts off a whole chunk of nachos because the cheese is cold*

>>10083792
Your insecurities are showing kiddo

>>10085730
So is your desire to get your shit pushed in. You can't out do me, so just go do... I do not care what. Probably something pathetic. Try pullups instead and come back later.

>>10079771
>Chips
>Socialism
Pottery.

>>10076851
Why am I eating with some Chad fuckass?

>>10084276
>in college all my friends were Chinese
how do I make chinese friends anon, they're everywhere at my school but they just seem very closed off.
I just want to share giant hotpots ;_;

The thing I hate the most about shit like this is when they don't actually ask. It's like "I'll just have one" "Just stealing a chip"
Just fucking ASK and I'd probably let you have one. If you can't be bothered to show the most basic of manners, I'm not going to put up with your shit.

>>10078762
>>10080505
>>10080528
t. Virgins

>friendless internetfags cosplay their favorite macho fantasies, loose track of who's out-fantasizing who!

>>10077058
>angry**

>>10077154
No. If you ask first, that’s fine. If the idea is sharing everything (like dim sum) then that’s fine. If it’s my food and you don’t ask and you just take you better be family or my fiancé.

>>10077582
There’s also something called “politeness” and another thing called “respect”.

>>10077617
>but he didn’t ask

>146 replies
I’d take a fucking slop thread over this shit. Slopovshit.

>>10078053
Lol... what about Mr. Staypuft?

>>10078064
>If you did too your life would be better and so would your posts.
This is the only part of YOUR post that makes any sense but still no idea what you are suggesting Anon do.

>>10078086
Seems like lots of people in this board have no manners >>10078137.

>>10078594
No? Apart from it being gross in general why would anyone?

>>10085775
>he spends 10 posts larping on /ck/ about how he's a boxer who will punch bullets out of the air and guns r 4 pusies bro
>he still hasn't posted a pic of himself
>he doesn't want everyone to see him for the soy-based life-form advocating for gun control that he is
>on the off chance that he's not lying he's already outed himself as a retarded luddite child who believes himself incapable of dying and gets so fannyflustered by internet posting that he makes threats to a computer screen
You've really worked yourself into a corner here bud! What will you do next?

>>10078727
It is not “sharing” if someone takes without permission! What if I’d rather buy you your own than share mine with you? How does that make me a selfish asshole?
>>10073826

>>10078762
>>10080505
>>10082702
>>10085838
I do this to my boyfriend. Thankfully he doesn’t mind, and he’ll steal food off my plate because I don’t mind, but that’s between us. If it is someone else - no.

>>10080142
This. Also, kek.

>>10080309
>borrow
Only if you return it in like condition.

>>10080471
What is this thread becoming?

>>10080978
Seasoning salt

>>10082474
I don’t have a gun and I have no interest in crossing you, whether you are what you claim or are a scared child hiding behind a computer, but I have to agree with >>10082450. Tone it down. You are on a cooking board - no one cares how tough you are or aren’t. No one knows who the hell you are to begin with or where to find you and same goes for you except you are the only one who gives a shit.

>>10082777
Lol. It’s still rude though to take without asking/permission.

>>10085832
THIS. Does no one have fucking common decency anymore?!

>>10082777
Autistic trips of truth. I have found that sharing food or meals with others can be a good way to bond.Though I don't usually mind sharing when asked, I do not appreciate when people just take items without permission and especially under the guise or pretense of camaraderie.

I'mma just borrow a fry

ask first, i don't want your scabies ridden hands rooting through my food

If you have a problem with this you're confirming that you don't have any friendships that are meaningful enough to skip societal norms with the other person. Basically you're a fucking loser who's never had close friends like a normal person and are probably autistic and insufferable

>>10078598
>Even coming from Africa I've never heard of such savagery
nice try buddy, anyone who spends more than a week in Africa knows its an absolute shithole.

>>10077154
Senator McCarthy Ive found another communist

>>10076851
Is this really what having friends is like? Why do people do it?

>>10080510
i might eat their finger by accident

>>10086181
10$ that you're going to commit suicide in a couple years tops sweetie :)

>>10085775
>pathetic
What's pathetic is typing like some epic MMA tard when in real life you're socially awkward and couldn't hold eye contact with your own reflection

>>10080484
M&P Compact in 9. Nice try though.

>>10080484
The more realistic stomach looks jarring with the anime face

>>10080532
sure you do hun

>>10087523
You wouldn't dare touch my fries.

>>10089119
i would spit in your fries just for the laugh

>>10089214
you would wake up in the hospital toothless. You type out shit because you can't say or do it.

>>10089225
like what you're doing right now?

>>10076851
That's okay. Those aren't mine. I ordered the onion rings.

>>10089241
not at all. See me in person any time. I do not suffer shitheads.

>>10078560
Must suck being raised by subhuman trash.

>>10089268
alright nigga where do you live?

I'm convinced the homosexual who is getting his panties all riled up over fries is just messing around. Nobody can be this autistic...

>>10085924
fuck off roastie

>all of these schizos defending people taking other people's food without asking

Get jobs you poor fucks, get your own food, I'll share if you ask but don't just fucking grab shit off my plate.

>>10077610
topkek

> aww how cute, Addissynn wants one of your loops

>>10078598
Get your own food cuck.

>>10089283
Let me just get my credit card info for you... WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE NEWFAG? I am not afraid you'd come get your asskicked. I am afraid of how dumb you are.

>>10077700
>>10077979
>>10078064
>>10078086
>>10080365
>>10080449
>>10080532
>>10080599
>>10080614
>>10083875
>>10085775
>>10089119
>>10089225
>>10089268
>>10089393
i bet you picture yourself as some top tier badass when in reality you look like pic related

>>10077698
This.

>>10089393
i bet you live off neetbux

>>10089419
no surprise a loser loses his bet. No fries for you beggar.

>>10089425
alright where do you work then?
>inb4 you say you're former seal team six

>>10089439
I am a retired special needs teacher living off investments, so no one is paying me to talk to you anymore, and you can fuck off.

>>10089465
Ah so the student became the teacher

>>10089500
What do you do other than try to jew fries?

>>10089520
I work at carter lumber batavia in ohio.
And nigga I don't Jew fries off people.
I'm just laughing at your retarded overreactions to someone getting a french fry.

>>10089544
You aint getting a french fry. You would not even try. That's the point.

>>10089562
I would though just to instigate your dumbass

>>10089566
not even once. You do not have to trust me forklift fag.

>>10089586
It's so cute it thinks it is tough

>>10089270
Dude, we were a white, salt-of-the-earth family living in midwest suburbia in a traditional family where the parents were biological progenitors of all the siblings, wtf? A family of 4 boys is a savage environment no matter what.

>>10089618
It is so obvious you have a lot of pent up rage from being a bully target.

>>10089119
You'd never be in that situation because who could fucking stand you?

>>10089241
Yoo

>>10089650
>Projecting this hard
Nigga you're the one thinking you would fight over a fry

>>10089797
Yoo

>>10089802
No. I am saying you would never touch my fries. Fuck off Fryjews.

>>10089825
I would spit in your fries faggot everyone knows onion ring are better

>>10089830
You'd shit out your own teeth and not get near my food. Fuck off fry jew.

>>10089849
Is the reason you're so protective of your fried potatos because you use to teach potatoes?

>>10089631
sure thing, trailer rodent.

>>10089874
My house is paid off, and so is the other one. Maybe that is why I never long for the fries of others.

So hungry and weak you are. I may just throw the extras away.

>>10089866
YES. Retards are filthy entitled assholes.

>>10089500
Fucking lol

>>10077060

If somebody reached over and touched my pizza they would either be getting a broken finger or a hot pizza straight to the face

>>10089896
>Gee anon your mom let's you have two houses

>>10089913
Yea exactly like (you)

>>10089935
That's reasonable

>>10076851
>>10086133
>friend in high school used to steal my fries and shit
>asked him repeatedly to stop, thought it was a power play
>dumb as bricks me didn't realize he was flirting until I was spending the night at his house for vidya and movies and he came into the living room with nothing on
>still thought it was a prank until he sat in my lap and shoved his tongue down my throat

He still teases me about how oblivious I am about that stuff. Lucky to have him, together for over a decade now.

>>10090039
Sounds comfy anon, have a happy life together

>>10090039
Did you diddle his boipussi?

>>10090039
The you weren't sexy in highschool and will never experience the exhilaration of 16 year old first time lovemaking

>>10090230
truly a dark timeline for us anon

>>10090039
Fuck it. You faggots put me off fries. Take them. I am keto anyway and it is just startch.

>>10090230
The exhilaration of 36 year old first time lovemaking is a far rarer and therefore more beautiful experience.

>>10090053
Thanks.
>>10090158
ye, we didn't play any vidya that night
>>10090230
I wasn't either. He was, though. Just lucked out. Don't feel too bad, shit was awkward and confusing at times, plus your emotional state is fucked when you're that age, constantly flooded with hormones and whatnot. Honestly, the real lucky part was managing to stick together through maturity. Trying to keep a relationship together is hard enough, adding high school drama to the mix is usually a recipe for disaster and regret. Won't lie though, wonderfully fond memories.
>>10090291
>deciding what to eat based on what some gay dude on /ck/ typed

>>10090291
>he doesn't want some boipucci
i bet you kiss girls faggot

>>10076851
JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD.

You touch my food and you'll pull back a bloody stump. That's not a threat, it's a promise.

>>10090959
-grabs u by the throat- BACK THE FUCK OFF?!?!

>>10076851
Take him back home and fuck him in the ass. We were made for each other.

>>10085787

>>10080532
not if he has a gun

>>10080614
>if you don't want to shoot

i would love nothing more than someone giving me a reason to shoot them. If you are intent on attacking me then i am justified in shooting you and i wont get in trouble.

>>10087749
>open carrying a compact

>>10092675
What would you cook for him in the morning?

*digs fork into meal*
lemme just test one of those meatballs bro

>>10076851 i hate it when people do that for a few reasons:
> they end up eating about 90% of the fries
> they should order their own instead of leaching of me
> if the person has a illness you then have to throw it all out

The real question is, is there any circumstance you could potentially see yourself in where you would steal fries?

>>10076851
I don't see what the big deal is. Go ahead, have my fries, they're not good for me anyway, just dont take a bite of my burger and we're good

>>10093529
Something he can put his grabby grabby hands all over. Probably soup.

>>10076851
I'm always fine giving out fries but all the people saying that rejecting that shit is wrong can go fuck themselves. Guy bought his fries, their's his, stop touching you creeps. The worst are blacks who will say nothing to you for months and then be all "ayo nigguh can i borrow a fry" as if the guy can give it back.

>>10077700
I'm 6'9 and 420lbs bro

>let me have sip of your water real quick bro

>>10077043
Fuck off faggot

>>10078064
>I don’t try anything
>I do
MAKE UP YOUR MIND

>>10080424
is that fucking mint on top

Now that I eat alone I've never been happier.

>>10076851
Sure, go ahead bro