/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Compared to how you imagined your life would be, are you doing better, about the same, or worse than you expected when you were a kid?

If better or worse, in 25 words or less, explain why.

What's the stupidest thing you've had to write paperwork for?

>>10020718
currently, im doing ok. this is just an "in between" job while i wait to move to college next month. 2 years ago i was too fucked mentally to even set foot in a grocery store without panic, so i guess im doing better.
i dunno what the fuck i was thinking as a kid. i think i wanted to be a spaceman or some shit

>>10020723
i had to write up an incident report on one of my friends once, i was guarding the carpark on nightshift and he was drunk and came and banged on the fence and scared the shit out of the night stockers. i ended up writing a vague description of him just to cover my ass

How much do you I actually give a shit if someone shoplifts?

Is it a mom & pop or a chain?

why choose the worst security job imaginable? i've done retail loss prevention. pure fucking hell.

why not take a graveyard shift guarding an empty office building or parking lot? laze around listening to podcasts and shitposting on your phone all night.

>>10020749
i care about shoplifting but only because it makes my shift go faster if i get to confront people.
its a chain store in new zealand

>>10020759
it wasen't choice, just happened to be the only job i could get as a student with no past experience. i sometimes get to do nightshifts where i just sit in my car and "watch" the stores carpark. absolute comfy tier.

I've literally never seen a "grocery store security guard" in my life even when I lived in a big mega-city so I'm assuming you must live in some absolutely backwards ghetto like Detroit

>>10020710
How fat are you, cuzzy bro

>>10020710
Can you count to 10?

WITHOUT using your fingers?

>>10020785
pretty slim, i wish i was still fat that'd help me step out the maori's stealing my fuckin raro
>>10020788
yeah but i dont know my left and right

>>10020762
A friend of mine owns a security guard company and he does security for a few asian groceries. He said his guards aren't authorized to apprehend shoplifters due to liability issues.

>>10020800
We have a "hands off policy" so by confront I mean i approach and say something like "bro why's there steak down your pants"

>>10020800

Not OP, but i'm a guard right now.

My company is hyper paranoid about liability. Don't you dare do anything that can even remotely be considered an arrest.

Never make a criminal feel like they can't leave. Don't don't stand in the middle of an entrance, hallway, etc.

>>10020710
Seeing a store security guard creeps me out. It raises my threat level that I'll be next to some surprise takedown event and have myself put in collateral danger, or else be followed by some asshole that has to meet a quota to make their security job seem more relevant. I sat on an utter waste of time of a jury for a walmart shoplifting case where they had trumped up a $200 value of utter crap value socks that was allegedly stolen. Some "guard" claimed to follow the guy for 6 hours without being noticed while the guy was killing time while his baby's momma had visitation with his kid over in the restaurant. Of course he looked suspicious, but he was bored, as would anyone that had that time to kill.

Where I shop in Florida, there has never been a uniformed security person in my groceries (Publix, Whole Foods, Fresh Market, Winn-Dixie), and if I saw one, I'd be concerned about the neighborhood or even shopping there in future. You expect to see one in a high end jewelry store or a mall parking lot in a golf cart, but that's it. Also in the US, you are fully welcome to drink a beverage in the store, or start on that bag of chips without a second glance, and it's only if you didn't hit up the register on the way out for it would it be considered stealing because the law states you are stealing only when you exit the premises without paying. Pic related.

>>10020813
why you looking at my pants fake pig?

>>10020816
Yep that's the same stuff I got told (op here)
The whole thing is we're there for "aversion " which basically means we can walk around and hope that when people see us they decide not to steal. We have alot of rules like no blocking exits, no running, etc. I've occasionally broken the no running rule and the "5 meter rule" designed to keep us out of arms length

>>10020821
i generally crack jokes and shit to people with the intent of not making them feel intimidated, i generally only follow very sketchy people or i'll keep an eye on anyone with a backpack or handbag. i don't bug people if i see them eating a product, i just make sure they dont leave behind the packaging without paying for it.
sometimes the store workers make me follow people though which is fucking annoying.
>>10020825
*notices bulge*
e-excuse me sir can i p-please see ur pockets owo

>>10020843
no you cannot, and if you follow me to my car with your little clip board, you will see I removed my licence plates before I pulled in. You can help my load up my trunk or go fuck off fake pig.

>>10020862
i don''t use a clipboard i just use my phone.
still worth following somone like that to get a image of the vehicle etc

>>10020825
>>10020862
>he gets followed by store security so often he gets mad at security guards on the internet

are you that guy who had a mental breakdown yesterday over McDonalds and started raving about Warren Buffett and made like 10 new threads?

>>10020873
I used to go in, load up a whole cart with a months worth of food, and walk out pretending to be having an argument on my phone. People listen, but avoid eye contact with people arguing on cell phones. Worked always, but eventually you run out of stores to go to if you live in a smaller town.

>>10020882
all the stores here have trolleys blocking every exit that isnt a check out, otherwise i can imagine this working , the argument thing seems like a neat mental trick

>>10020888
Random question, I'm heading to NZ in April. Do you guys still have those Fruju Tropical Snow ice creams?? I was talking to a mate a few months back about how I wish that they would bring them back, and he said NZ still had them.

Grocery stores in my area have NO security. The clerk watching the u-scan section will periodically say something over the pa like "security scan section 3" but its total bullshit. They too are told to not interfere with lifters. If its a regular shoplifter or something of value like meat and booze they will have the police take a report and review tapes. Otherwise they do nothing. A certain percentage of loss is factored into the price of goods.

>>10020915
fairly certain we do actually

>>10020915
actually nevermind it says out of stock on all the new zealand supermarket websites

>>10020919
Fuck yes.

I think I'll come steal one from your store.

>go shopping
>order pizza from deli
>that will be 20 minutes anon
>no problem ill finish shopping
>pay for food(no pizza to scan)
>go back to deli get fresh pizza
>walk out the door with receipt in hand

>>10020936
Shit.

Oh well hopefully some backwater shop still has some, I'm driving around the whole south island and I swear I will check every convenience store I find.

>>10020710
whats the point in security if you touch someone you get sued?

>>10020732
well done sweaty

>>10020878
nope. not that guy. just a thief.

>>10020974
I think security is there primarily for taking action against assaults, armed robberies, etc. They may intimidate some into not shoplifting just by their presence. There are security companies that will take action against shoplifters but they pay very high liability insurance rates and are much more expensive so you'd only find those at the big megacorps, not mom and pops.

>>10020710
Can u shoot thiefs?

>>10020821
I liked Publix in Florida

>>10020917
Nah, they do, but it's usually 1 or 2 guys sitting in the room with the recording equipment. I live in a nice area, too. The visible presence of security guards actually makes the average person who lives in these areas uncomfortable and possibly unsafe. What I think they do for a possibly suspicious-looking person is the "loss prevention" guy, who wears a shirt and tie and looks like a store manager, does a discrete drive by just looking like he's doing some kind of inventory or employee instruction tasks. He'll often say something casually, like "good evening." Totally doesn't freak out honest people, but deters thieves. Sometimes when I shop late at night at my grocery store I see a really cute police woman going up to where I think the security office is to look at tapes or whatever. There are shoplifters even in good areas, but they try to hide it.

>>10020710
Why does your grocery store need a gaurd?

>>10020917
And the reason the clerks hover over you a little bit at the self-checkout is that's the only place where video security kinda fails. You can slip a couple things through without scanning or cheat the scanner a little and it isn't possible to prove it with video footage.

>>10021219
>they do.
No...they don't. Trust me.
Im friends with a manager and several employees.
Yes im sure places like walmart wegmans publix and costco have sercurity but this chain does not.

What are you actually allowed to do?

>>10020784
Most grocery stores have someone watching the cameras. You won't see them in most cases.

>>10021219
Youre right however about visible guards and upscale stores...looks bad.

Stores have to weigh their losses against the cost of adding more to payroll. For a place like walmart it makes sense but for smaller upscale places in nice neighborhoods it doesnt make sense to spend $80000/year on staff and insurance to save $40000 on stolen product.

>>10021320
What I think is funny is the majority of shoplifters in nicer areas seems to be middle to upper class women. Seems to be. I'm very observant, but like I said, the stores around my area try to be really discrete. Can any security guys weigh in on this? What kind of shit are they stealing? Small, expensive cosmetics?

Do a lot of old people try to steal? I work at a pharmacy and I feel like I catch more middle-aged people grabbing shit like makeup and denture paste comapered to teenagers trying to get lighters

I hear that old people (50+) try to steal at grocery stores surprisingly often

>>10021219
Please post pic of qt female onahole officer

>>10021571
I don't have any. I've only seen her a couple times. I don't take photos of strangers. she was just a random Officer Cutie: pretty, blonde, about 5'4"/120lbs, 30ish. The way she carried herself and watched things she looked pretty sharp.

>>10020710
are you a security guard and if so what type of establishment do you work in?

>>10021222
The natives of that land are a fierce and proud people who spend all their dole money on booze and smokes so they steal everything else when theyre not stabbing each other or sniffing glue.

>>10021861
Nice racism.

Enjoy your time not being able to post.

>>10021871
I worked at the liquor store in Raglan for a year. I am an expert on these niggers and their habits.

So if I go to a grocery store self checkout, quickly insert and remove my card before it's confirmed, and walk out abruptly, what are the odds of being confronted? I've done this once before, but I feel like the last time I tried I got a knowing glance from the self-checkout guard and actually went through with the payment.

>>10021878
You think I care tough goy?

>>10021571
>onahole officer
I have several questions

>>10021871
It's not nice to say but it's still the fucking truth. Denying that these problems exist will not make them go away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qClBRaretEk

>>10021861
Bro, I literally had a Maori dude do a pukana (what the guy in that pic is doing) at me after I told him the store was closed. Dude was Tryna use some tribal warfare shit to scare me.
>>10021358
It's mostly middle aged low class women with handbags going for meat or makeup
>>10021219
I walk around the store rather then watching cameras, but the whole good evening thing is pretty much what I do
>>10021898
I don't watch the self check out because the store has someone assigned to that, but that probably make the self check out thing flash red like it does heaps

>>10021898
It beeps, starts computer voice nagging about payment, a light flashes, and the monitor at the cashier's station does some kind of prompt. The bagging side of the stations usually have some kind of scale thing that triggers when you lift the bags off early. The attendant then has to come over and see what's up. They don't automatically assume you stole shit, they just think you're retarded. This is where you should act retarded if you really were trying to steal shit. If things get really weird-looking to the attendant it prompts a bag check where they look through every bagged item and compare it to the screen. The machine won't let you proceed without it flashing and shit until they come over and swipe their override card and punch a code into it. I know this because I've accidentally triggered them before by cashing out manufacturer's coupons doubled with in-store sales prices and actually came out with a few bags of free groceries. It was kinda funny. Had to stand there and wait a few minutes for the store manager to come and double check and override the machine because the cashier's clearance wasn't high enough or something. I'm gonna assume your odds of having cops show up to confront you are pretty high if you just walk out without paying. They have a video of you in the store, probably a shot of you in the parking lot, and at least one employee will testify that you stole shit.

>>10021222
Any store needs protection retard

>>10021918
She has a pussy, right? Therefore her omanko is living warm onahole

>>10021974
Niggers stealing makeup... Its so arousing

>>10023117
>i have lived my entire life in a bad neighborhood.

>>10023138
Wrong, living in a shit country

>>10023145
>shit country
racist comment

I'm so mad i'm shaking

>>10023117

>and everyone who doesn't conceal carry is being grossly irresponsible

>t. scared babby

>>10023150
But my country is violent, full with criminals and corrupt politicians, ravaged by normal and structured crime and lacks a solid moral and ethic compass

>>10023170

Doesn't matter, still considered a racist thing to say now. Anderson Cooper told me so.

>>10023186
Are u a retarded fembot nazi? Gosh, you need a dick in your vagina and anus

>>10020862
>getting busted and having to pay a few hundred dollars fine for having no plates because you're afraid of fake cops despite you not having done anything wrong (and not having the intentions to do anything wrong, am I right?)

>>10023215
My name is Cory Booker and I'm a member of the US senate.

>>10020710
What do you do to 'Grazers'?

>>10020710
the fuck kind of shithole you live in that grocery stores have security?

>>10023647
America

>>10023683
Do you live in the south side of Chicago or something? I have never seen a security guard at a grocery store

>>10020710
Whats it like to kill someone?

>>10023697
Lol, where you from, mom's trailer's back bedroom in west jeebusvile, AR? Even fucking Memphis has security guards in groceries, ya fucking googad.

>>10023963
>Memphis
>city filed with niggers
I would bet so.

>>10023963
>Even fucking Memphis has security guards in groceries,
Yeah I can see why.

>>10023963
>even menphis
um, Memphis is one of the most crime ridden, ghetto cities in the country

Needing security at your grocery stores is not normal in America, except in the most ghetto of neighborhoods

>>10023963
>>10023683
>>10023170
>>10023145
>>10023117
I feel bad for you guys.
Between 9 different chain grocery stores in 5 different towns...two of which have a black population around 40% and all with more mexicans than anyone can count...i have NEVER seen a security guard. They are simply not on the payroll. I dont doubt a few have "loss-prevention" but i have never seen anyone actually on the floor. Thats the sort of thing you see in a waffle house at 2am. You guys must live in some real shitholes.

>>10024067
I alreasy told you that my country is a shithole LOL

>>10020738
Did your friends know that you were working there? Perhaps they were jealous and fucking with you.

>>10024067
In the majority of stores you can't tell that the loss prevention/security guy even works there, they have them wear plain clothes and either hang out in a back office until they're needed, or wander the floor and try to look like a customer

>>10020813
Are they always niggers and meth heads or crack addicts? NZ so abbos?

>>10020915
That's Harbin ice festival in China.

>>10020917
In a store I worked for we used Robin as the code. I'd go on the intercom and say, call for Robin. We still got a nigger who was employee, he was caught stuffing expensive items in a vacuum cleaner. How did he get caught one might ask... well we would take the vacuum cleaner behind racks of clothing some of those racks were visible to the store across the street and they told us what was going on. That punk nigger was caught red handed.

>>10020784
Guy at my Walmart thinks hes dog the bounty hunter. Wears the shades indorrs has a drop leg with crowd control size pepper spray, the hair the vest everything but the fat bitchy wife with all her fat pushed up into her bra so she can say I'm not fat I'm busty.

>>10025648
It still had that stupid nigger "it wasn't me" look on it's face. Pathetic. I suspect that he's either dead or in prison now.

Why do niggers always pull that innocent chimp look?

>>10020762

PaknSave?

What do?

https://youtu.be/LQmm81aWPiI

>>10025949
Fixed it for you
Pakisave while raping and pillaging.

>>10025966

What?

>>10025673
Funny you should say that, I used to work at K-Mart and our head security guy actually WAS a bounty hunter as his second job

He told me once that he's had more weapons pulled on him at K-Mart than bounty hunting

What's the weirdest thing you've caught someone stealing and where were they hiding it?

>>10026166
I've noticed more of these little niggers and wiggers stealing nyquil and other crap thinking that they'll get high from it than you can shake a stick at.

>>10026255
>shaking a stick at a nigger is a hate crime

>>10020974
Just because some dumbass tries to sue us doesnt mean it will stick in court. Happens all the fucking time in security, one of the main reasons we try not to do arrests if we dont have to.

>>10020813
>Just happy to see you, bro ;)

>>10026297
Niggers and crackheads and meth junkies will do anything if there's a possibibilty to keep their fix going on.

>>10025559
Reading is not your thing...i get it.
Slow down...sound out the big words.

We are making a clear distinction between " security" and "loss prevention".

Do try and keep up.

>>10020732
>mentally damaged loser works as a supermarket rent-a-cop
Poetry

>>10020710
Any /fat/ people stories?

>>10025673
Post a pic of hime NOW

>>10020710
whats the best reaction to your grocery store jester's antics you've ever seen?

>>10026507
You specifically said "I dont doubt a few have "loss-prevention" but i have never seen anyone actually on the floor", that post was a response to that part

>>10020710
Been arrested for theft yet?

>>10021871
>>10021936
>>10021861
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt0NcaxmGHo

>>10020710
Yo I worked at a grocery and one of the Loss Prevention guys got canned because he followed thieves to their homes, broke into their houses when they weren't around to recover "evidence" against them. Guy thought he was above the law and some weird vigilante/wannabecop psycho. Needless to say I don't know what happened to him after he was arrested.

>>10021044
So just as retarded and spazzy then.

>>10027763
Natives are pretty dumb. But mexicans sniff industrial glue so we are even.

>>10021345
I'm not a security guard, but I did learn a lot from my trade, about shoplifters in addition to what I've seen working in a lower scale store.
Shoplifters in upscale areas are normally stay at home mom's that are just bored and looking for a thrill, they'll steal random shit, but normally feminine shit.
In lower scale areas, you've just got loads of people that either don't give any fucks, or like the moms above but are REALLY paranoid.

what percentage of your shift is spent in the dairy cooler staring at people through the creamers

>>10028379
That's the dairy reaper.

Test

How long do I have to burn off calories that I eat before it gets stored on my thighs as fat?

Does it matter if those calories come from carbs, fat, or protein?

>>10020710
>grocery store
>security guard

I don't need to ask about the demographics in your city/area.

>>10021095
>They may intimidate some into not shoplifting just by their presence.

As an assistant manager at a small supermarket, I can confirm this 110%. Just the presence of a security guard easily pays for itself and more in terms of loss prevention.

>>10020710
If I take a flat screen tv and ring it up as bananas at the self service checking area, will you notice?

>>10025685
It's natural for them.

>>10028379
>2018
>not paying the dairy reaper 3 copper coins for the freshest product they have
It’s like you don’t want quality

If someone occasionally stole beer from a store at night, What are the odds their picture is in a security room?

>>10026255
They CAN get high from it if it has dextromethorphan in it. My friends and I used to steal Robitussin from Wal-Mart all the time in high school

>>10020710
If someone walks out with a full cart of groceries they haven't paid for are you allowed to stop them?

>>10020882
You fucking nigger

>>10031226
>ywn robotrip as a 14 year old again

>>10031197
Also, lets say your picture ends up on a wall in the security room

what does that mean for the next time you come in the store? basically that they will just be watching you?

>>10020784
Because most of them are in plain clothes. We're all around you.

>>10021345
>What kind of shit are they stealing?
Anything and everything. Strip-search them in the store entrance when you catch one.

>>10032155
>what does that mean for the next time you come in the store? basically that they will just be watching you?
It means they'll recognise you and escort you from the premises, before informing you that you're banned from all the company's stores. And from any companies they own as well.

>>10032202
>thats loss prevention barney not security. Remember your place in society.

>>10020710
There was a hilarious attempted robbery last year at my local grocery mart and so the city PD put one of their underachieving-flunky officers there in the mornings and evenings.

>>10033572
It's more of less the same shit, I've done loss prevention and we keep in close touch with security.

>>10020813
>i know that bulge

>>10033603
>hilarious attempted robbery
>doesnt share
please indulge us anon

>>10033603
Idiot post the story now

>>10021871
lmao

>>>/tumblr/