/ck/ - Food & Cooking

The only thing I really have going for me is my looks and so I fear spending even a moment not feeling like I’m looking ‘my best’. I feel guilty eating more than one meal a day, maybe two or three days a week I’ll have two meals, and I have recently joined a gym where I do nothing but intense cardio followed by long sauna sessions because I like knowing I walk out of the room weighing less than when I entered. It can be argued I’ve fallen into a somewhat ‘healthy’ way of obsessing over my weight with working out but the mental processes behind it are so obviously unhealthy and neurotic that I’m worried it will deteriorate. A lot of the rationalising I’ve seen in this thread hits too close to home.
Just want to be gaunt.

I turned 21 y.o fifty seven minutes ago so no eating until bday dinner with my mum tonight. The feeling of having successfully withheld from eating is one of the only things I have to look forward to these days.