/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9947733
Ofme had taken the afternoon off to attend a Tupperware maid convention or her sister's funeral or some other thing poor people do, I don't remember. When I got out of bed at 3, starving to death, all I could see on the lounge table were fruits -- if she had prepared breakfast for me, I wasn't about to go hunting for it in the fridge or god knows where else she might have kept it. Still, my survival instincts kicked in and I reached for the Dekopon. I didn't even have the chance to take a bite as the injury happened as I was trying the first peel.

Even the nurses at the ER took pause at the sight of the massacre; especially when I told them how I had to fend for myself, after which I went on to present them with my chipped nail in one of Trixie's doggy-purses.

Unfortunately, they weren't able to reattach the missing piece. Half-finished and ugly, I am now bed-ridden, a hidden pariah waiting for the malformity to even out so I can be seen outside again.

My beautician thinks it will be two to three more days. I'm so tired of suffering.

Needless to say, I fired Ofme. I hate Dekopons now.