/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12181213

>be me
>sitting next to some Brits in a Coney Island restaurant
>live near Detroit so lotsa Brits here working for auto companies
>Brits get their food (breakfast)
>one Brit says, there is so much food here, I'll need a fork-knife to eat it all
>fork-knife?
>wtf?!?
>is that what Brits call a spork?

>overhear Brit say he'll need a fork-knife to eat his huge order of food
>why not say spork?

>be American
>go to England for work
>first night, Brits have me drinking to all hours, have a great time
>see at the 1:00 meeting tomorrow, Yank
>sleep late, the Brits understand jet lag
>go to little pub for some "brekky" as I'm catching the lingo
>cute waitress
>looking a bit ragged, what can I get for you
>coffee and a little bit of crumpet if you please
>waitress brings coffee
>now for you little bit of crumpet
>she reaches down, unzips my fly and gets Old Henry out
>she plays with him a bit and as soon as he's standing a attention, she pulls hr panties off
>she straddles me and sends Old Henry home
>she looks at me with deep blue eyes
>she contracts her lady muscles and Old Henry is gasping for air
>up and down she starts
>best bit of crumpet you've ever had I bet, Yank
>christ, I go cross-eyed as jerks me with just her vaginal walls
>yes, this is a fine bit of crumpet, I say
>we come together and as she gets off me she asks
>can I get you more coffee?
>yes I said, more coffee is exactly what I think I need right now
>the funny thing is, is that I'm not really a coffee drinker
>

Live in Detroit and so lots of Brits who work for the car companies are about. Eating breakfast at a local restaurant and a table of Brits were getting their food and one Brit says, "There's so much food here, mates, I'm going to need a fork-knife to eat it all."

Is a fork-knife like a runcible spoon or is a fork-knife what Brits call a spork?

>>9845868
under certain circumstances in England, they call gravy "milk" mostly when yo order B&G in a pub

Is tipping a sandwich?

>>7714456

not sure but I worked with a guy from Great England and after a night of drinking he kept talking about getting a "little bit of crumpet' and figuring he was hungry and heading toward to an IHOP, he drives us to a strip place that doesn't even serve food! After a few beers and lap dances I asked him about being hungry and then he just kept saying, "feck me mite, I've got stikes at me flat, Never too pissed to cook up up some stikes and chippers!" Needless to say I took a cab home.

Regarding cricket, I can only fucking imagine how that would end up.

>>6951663

On the contrary, friends of mine who have ventured across the pine say they get this meal whenever the ask for biscuits and gravy and Britland women do call men mate. but maybe not Brits just good looking American chaps. Usually in small towns on the sea like Ilfracombe or Burnham-on-the-Couch in Essex. It seems they appreciate the American tourist dollar.

Gee a photo on a Thai bicycle club image board is from GOOGLE. Boohoo. You are a sorry bloke indeed.

>>6650901

spork

>>6552003
>To separate the elements in a list of three or more items.

This is America, bucko.
Out with your Oxford comma.

>>6521337

you smell bad (even for a Euro) and it was the only legal reason they could use to get you to leave

I have a friend who is in America working for one of the car companies. He is British is from Arsenal or Manchester United or some London-talking place like that. The other night we were having some beers and he said "Let's go a have us a bit of crumpet." I was hungry and agreed and then he drove to the only strip bar in town that doesn't serve food.

He had a few lap dances (he called them "trouser bumbies") and I had 3 more beers.

I thought we were going for food. What the hell happened?

>>5496221
In Liverpool we just call them "Pfferkies" or "naggies".