/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Italian bakeries are gross dude, just sugar, sugar, sugar, artless overuse of sugar, low-tier chocolate shells, and usually a bunch of nasty fucked up looking food coloring too. Cannoli? Fuck cannoli. Fake imitation vanilla extract flavor, mascarpone that tastes like it's got chalk in it, dusted with sugar that's soaked in condensation by the time someone gets around to buying it. Everything is way the fuck too big, like, ok I'm supposed to be impressed that you think I want to eat a 2 pound puck of mealy cloying paste that's been sitting in a refrigerator case for 2 days? Did you actually say how many pounds do I want? Do I look like an overfed cop or something? If you say "I just want one" they look at you like you're trying to rob the place.

Not to mention those places are always in the most weird, pedestrian-unfriendly areas, the kinds of NIMBY shit holes where they run down cyclists for fun and if you walk there from the nearest subway line (about a 20 minute walk on average, usually requires a shortcut through a dump truck parking lot or a cemetery), you're drenched in sweat by the time you get there and they look at you like you're crazy because you were supposed to park out front in your 1970s gas guzzler with anti-abortion bumper stickers all over it.

Fucking nasty, and I've been to all the "authentic" ones in Bensonhurst and Arthur Avenue, not just the Mott Street crap. Nasty coffee, nasty food, nasty rude old ladies and mafia looking dudes who bark at you in Brooklynese or Bronxese, whoa, so authentic, I love being talked to like a misbehaving child. Terrible burned stale coffee. And of course it's usually cash only unless you spend 20 bucks, on the bright side that probably buys you enough to feed the entire night shift at the local precinct.

That shit might have flown in the 50s when it was competing with Betty Crocker boxed crap but not anymore. Bring on the Dominique Ansels, thanks in advance.

>>10952942
Italian bakeries are gross dude, just sugar, sugar, sugar, artless overuse of sugar, low-tier chocolate shells, and usually a bunch of nasty fucked up looking food coloring too. Cannoli? Fuck cannoli. Fake imitation vanilla extract flavor, mascarpone that tastes like it's got chalk in it, dusted with sugar that's soaked in condensation by the time someone gets around to buying it. Everything is way the fuck too big, like, ok I'm supposed to be impressed that you think I want to eat a 2 pound puck of mealy cloying paste that's been sitting in a refrigerator case for 2 days? Did you actually say how many pounds do I want? Do I look like an overfed cop or something? If you say "I just want one" they look at you like you're trying to rob the place.

Not to mention those places are always in the most weird, pedestrian-unfriendly areas, the kinds of NIMBY shit holes where they run down cyclists for fun and if you walk there from the nearest subway line (about a 20 minute walk on average, usually requires a shortcut through a dump truck parking lot or a cemetery), you're drenched in sweat by the time you get there and they look at you like you're crazy because you were supposed to park out front in your 1970s gas guzzler with anti-abortion bumper stickers all over it.

Fucking nasty, and I've been to all the "authentic" ones in Bensonhurst and Arthur Avenue, not just the Mott Street crap. Nasty coffee, nasty food, nasty rude old ladies and mafia looking dudes who bark at you in Brooklynese or Bronxese, whoa, so authentic, I love being talked to like a misbehaving child. Terrible burned stale coffee. And of course it's usually cash only unless you spend 20 bucks, on the bright side that probably buys you enough to feed the entire night shift at the local precinct.

That shit might have flown in the 50s when it was competing with Betty Crocker boxed crap but not anymore. Bring on the Dominique Ansels, thanks in advance.