/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I don't even know how to cook but I act as if I did, so much in fact that some people thought I was some kind of chef or something and they value my opinion and advice for cooking (I just Google something and they I send them an answer whenever online).

I had this girl at my house and we were a little bit hungry so I ask her if she'd like to see me cooking.
Her eyes were shining before she happily answer me with a yes in a cute and sweet but sensual voice.

I picked an old pair of beef cuts I had in the freezer for over a year in the freezer, then I spread some salt on them to put them in the microwave to thaw the beef.

I said to her I was using a technique to make the meat tastier by opening the beef cells or proteins with microwaves so that the salt can penetrate at a molecular level, reinforcing the protein bounds for a firmier steak, in all intends and porpoises I was doing molecular cooking.

She was really impressed, she said she likes smart guys that also know how to cook and that I was the best of both world's.

I told her this is not even the best part.

I grabbed the now thaw beef and put it inside a sealed Ziploc while I was heating a frying pan with some coconut oil.

I told her coconut oil is the best because the smell if perfect and she agreed it smelled nice, I also told her that it's perfect for the skin because it's an excellent moisturiser, and that I could give her a massage after we were done eating. (It's also am magnificent Anal lube as she found out later)

She was blushing like crazy while my frying pan was beginning to burn because I was talking to much, I threw some onions to cool it down.

I began to smash the meat with a mallet to make it "even better" before putting it in a blender to grind it (I decided to make hamburgers because it was faster/easier).

I told her a blender is the best way to grind meat, the blades spinning at such a velocity creates huge centrifugal forces that makes the meat and fat become one, making the burger-