/ck/ - Food & Cooking

This has been pissing me off for two days now, and the best I've come up with is that it's a turd grabber for when you're constipated.

>tfw finally learning how to cook

>>10389340

>wake up at 11
>get up to go to the bathroom and grab a glass of crushed ice with a straw and a chilled bottle of san pel
>get back in bed and pour myself a tall mug of vodka
>rehydrate myself with ice cold bubbly water and gradually start getting lit
>leave bed around 2 or 3 to make a bowl of delicious food that i'll eat in bed while browsing /ck/ and drinking more vodka
>leave bed 20 minutes before work, pop some ibuprofen, poop, wash my face
>smoke a cigarette on the drive to work
>work
>drive though taco bell and get a couple frito burritos and one or two 5 layer burritos with fire sauce
>get home, take off clothes, piss, splash some water on my face, get a glass of ice water
>pour myself a tall mug of vodka
>eat cold taco bell once i'm lit
>move all my shit back to the bed
>wake up, piss, wash my face, get a san pel on ice, pour myself a tall mug of vodka
>remember that i still have a fritos burrito under my bed
>set an alarm
>pass out until i need to get up for work
>repeat

Occasionally I take a real shower and wash my sheets, which is a hassle, but kind of nice on occasion.