/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>it's quiet in the store.
>a bit too quiet.
>only need some cheese, detergent and toilet paper. trying to get it done fast.
>sneak through the aisles. carefully listening for signs of danger.
>suddenly hear some faint jingling in the far distance..
>silence again..
>that sounded at a safe distance, so this is my chance.
>quickly grab what I need, check out, and run back to the car.
>fucking made it!
>race back home, happy I got out unscathed.
>get groceries from trunk..
>SURPRISE!
>I shit myself when that god damn jester jumps from trunk at me.
>he floors me, then sits on my face and lets out a huge fart.
>runs of laughing hysterically.
>disoriented I get up, and grab my stuff which is all over the road.
>find out he shit all over my toilet paper.
I swear to god..