/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Here's how this thread is going to go
>cuba a shit
>no u
>murrica sucks
>fox and the grapes
>lol enjoy ur cancer stix
>a bunch of tweens recommend rum-soaked rocky patels and phatic acid sk8rb0i by lars tetens
>lol enjoy ur cancer stix
>I don't even enjoy the stench of alcohol
>someone attempts (poorly) to discuss pairing drinks with cigars
>this doesn't belong here *stamps feet* please pay attention to me!
>someone posts an unnecessarily detailed "review" of cigars no one cares about
>sometimes, a fuente circle jerk
>lol enjoy ur cancer stix
>this doesn't belong here *stamps feet* please pay attention to me!
>lolmurica sour grapes

mention how you hate spaghetti sauce from a jar and you can totally make it all by yourself from real tomatoes and you can totally never go back to "normal" spaghetti sauce
say you only eat "specialty cheese" and only drink "craft beer"
have very strong opinions about cast iron seasoning
all wine is a scam, but to the extent that it isn't, napa cabernet is definitely the best thing ever, especially when it has many parker points and you can really smell the oak
IPA and imperial stout are the only ok kinds of "craft beer" (remember not to call it "beer" or they'll think ur a pleb)
mention sous vide a lot
mention alton brown a lot
the victorinox fibrox is the best thing ever
"resting" steak
have very strong opinions about the correct temperature for steak (blue rare is the only correct temperature)
whenever chipotle comes up fly off the handle and say it's not authentic even though you've never been within 500 miles of mexico the country
say "dram" whenever discussing a serving of scotch
say "flavor profile" a lot
quote stuff randomly from modernist cuisine out of context and preferably unsolicited
boast about how you "can handle" really dark chocolate, black coffee, and other foods that you subconsciously consider to be a form of punishment. speak disparagingly of anyone who has ever once enjoyed a variant of these foods other than what you autistically prescribe as being "correct"