/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I put my pots and pans in the dishwasher.

>mfw I report people who post the n-word and the jannies and mods are my useful idiots that ban you so the site turns more into reddit
This is like shitposting but more advanced.

>mfw I report posts that have the n word in them because mods ban people on /ck/ for racism outside of /b/ and my reporting actively turns this board more into reddit

i donated a can of food that was past its use by date one time

>>17640400
it's a meat-spread

>make order from Uber Eats
>order from Subway location across town
>don't tip upfront
>delivery man takes over an hour to arrive after point of sale
>no_tip_4_U.jpeg
>food is ice cold
>eat food anyways, enjoy it very much
>complain to Uber Eats customer support
>get partial refund
>stay_winning.png

What devilish things do you do to stop your roommates from eating your food?
>Only buy stuff with some type of hot chilli in it because everyone else hates spicy food

>>17200490
Could you like,invite some cute females over and make them some mixed drinks with this? haha
Like, you would give them some and like, you already pre-clogged the toilets so they won't flush, right lolomg
Then they start shitting, but can't flush, and their only option is pooping their pants, or dumping on top of their other friend's fresh batch. It's just a big ol soup bowl of your female friends' bowel treasures. What if? ahahaha...
They go home but their stool stays with me.

>>17102355
>deviled

>>16717425

Order to go, sit down anyways.

>>15711666
>>15711661
do it anon, don't let us down

>>15608074

>mfw I pour the oil down the drain

>>15352353
>people shit themselves after they die
>let's give all inmates a really big meal before their execution so the jannies have something to clean up afterwards

delightfully devilish

>>15023922
based

>>14996679

ITT: times when you were the Joker in the kitchen
>promise to make and eat crazy big hamburger with horse meat
>use some VERY horrible spicy powder to give it a kick
>cook the meat until it's black as night
>construct the biggest burger in the world
>cry at its majesty
>chuck it into the nearby stream instead of eating it
I'LL PARADE MY SCARS AS BRUISES
AS IF THEY WERE MEDALS

>>14921292
Ate a 3 course meal on a plane once!

>order a large boba milk tea
>drink it straight through a straw without chewing on the pearls

ONE NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

>>14679875
this was really good
i went back to the store and got 2 more

>Go to store
>"Enjoy your coffee machine sir, do you need help moving it?"
>Say yes
>tfw I get free service to move the coffee machine when it's actually going to be used for tea
I scammed those wagies full throttle

I use onion powder for my curry

>>13212831
>mfw i ring up organic fruits and vegetables as regular

>>12717149
>be me
>living in UK in middle of winter
>normally it never snows, just rains
>this year it's snowing like crazy outside
>everyone is panicking, roads are almost unusable
>decide to place an order for delivery
>2 XXL pizzas, breadsticks, cookies, 2L Pepsi
>takes the guy over an hour to get to my place even though the pizza shop is at most a 20 minute walk away
>call pizza shop and complain
>my pizza was cold, delivery took too long, blah blah
>get meal for free and a coupon for 50% off next order
>mfw