/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>used to really enjoy hot sauce
>saw a local meetup for hot sauce enthusiasts
>went along, but thought i'd bring a nice gift for everyone
>made a special batch of hot sauce, as hot as I could
>make a special handcrafted wooden container for the bottle to go in
>it is in the shape of an ambulance
>carved the words 'HOT SAUCE WARD' onto the wooden ambulance with the hot sauce bottle inside
>i thought the sauce i made was unbearably hot
>inside the wooden ambulance with a hand knitted cotton doll of myself, wearing a little T-Shirt that said 'Habanero Harold' (my name is harold)
>took the gift to the meetup and presented it
>the 'ring leader' kind of guy who the other hot saucers obviously worship opens the ambulance, takes the hot sauce out
>has a sip
>starts laughing
>literally glugs like 1/3rd of the bottle
>tells me it isn't hot at all, and all the other hot saucers laugh at me
>i get upset, and apologise for bothering them and leave
>few days later get a knock at my door
>open it
>the ambulance is sitting on the floor
>they have carved the words 'MILD FOOD EMERGENCY UNIT' over the words 'hot sauce ward'
>tfw don't like hot sauce now because of the bullies

happens to me everytime i smoke weed

just got another letter from my doctor today about my last visit. he said (again) that if i don't stop overeating, I WILL die of a heart attack

any food for this feel?

>tfw gained 20 lb since the virus lockdowns began
How are you supposed to diet when staying home with no work and unemployment money for unlimited food?

>>12630739
>I don't know WTFrick a plate is
>tfw I know all too well what a plate is.

>>11936342
>Eurocucks are too FAT and LAZY to reach the shift key

>>11928325
>tfw cookie dough makes you fat

>>11311343
delet this

>go to local grinder place
>order 16 inch buffallo chicken
>cashier asks if I want lettuce and tomato on it
How do other burly boys put up with rude people? One of these days Im going to snap.

>Leave very thorough and clear food delivery instructions
>Driver doesn't read any of it and I have to wander around the parking lot to find him
Why does this happen so often? What's the point of having a delivery instructions textbox if the drivers never see it? I live in a gated apartment complex, I can't get food unless they follow the instructions or I intercept them on foot myself.

>>10933728
>Being pitied is great!
>Physical deformity only makes you happy anyway

>tfw really fat
>have a major eating disorder, I think it must be binge eating disorder
>sometimes I like to make myself candy pizza
>the way I tend to stack it is to make it seem a bit like a normal pizza so I feel less disgusting
>so make an actual dough, but with honey and 10 tablespoons of sugar mixed in
>add tomato puree mixed with brown sugar
>top with a mixture of cheese and gummy cola bottles, so when it cooks they melt into one
>cook
>when it finishes cooking, top with chunks of chocolate and skittles, plus anything else sweet I fancy
>to make it feel more authentic, scatter gummy bears outside my front door, put the pizza on the bears, and pretend they are 'delivering' the pizza to me
>usually make a joke to myself about 'their tip' and eat the bears, then take and eat the pizza
>sometimes have sides like chicken strips that I dip in honey then cover in sweet cereal
>like to watch candy advertisements on youtube as I eat, pretend it is like a superbowl viewing party and a special occasion so I got pizza in
>am working on photoshopping a Pizza Hut menu to include this pizza so I can feel other people do the same

help

I drink 3 cans of condensed milk a day, im properly addicted to it and I cant go without them. Is there anything similar to condensed milk that I can swap for and try and wean off?

I decided to eat an order of Blazin Buffalo Wild Wings.

>>10270593

oh man i'll definitely get some togarashi next time i'm in a asian market and some kimchi too

>>10270579

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrMsWztL1n8

that place really looks fantastic, fuck i want to go to japan just for that but i'm too beta and i can't speak japanese so i guess only ichiran for me

>>10265964
>finish meal for 4 that took an hour to make
>hungry an hour later
>order a pizza

>pizza party at work
>eat maybe 9 or 10 pieces
>on my last one fucking roastie bitch Stacy says "I think you've had enough"
>rest of colleagues agree and say they only had 2 or 3 while "you had like 15"
>stutter out a weak explanation saying i didn't eat all day.
>awkward silence and I leave

What the fuck is the point of advertising a pizza party if you're going to police what people fucking eat.

Morning (From KFC):
>1 Twister
>3 Sides of Mashed Potatoes
>20 Boneless Bites
Morning (From Taco Bell):
>12 Soft Tacos
>1 Beef Burrito Supreme
>1 Large Baja Blast
Morning (From McDonalds):
>1 Large Coke
>1 Sausage McMuffin
Afternoon (Assorted Snacks):
>1 Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream Party Size
>1 Nabisco Double Stuffed Oreos Family Size
>1 Cran Apple Juice (64 oz)
Evening (From McDonalds):
>4 McDouble
>2 Big Mac Large Size Meals
>1 Big Mac Wrap
>2 McChicken
Evening (From Whataburger):
>2 Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich
>4 Whatachik'n Strips
>1 Apple & Cranberry Chicken Salad
>1 Large Cherry Coke
I can't stop, send help

>Open a large bag of chips
"I'll only eat a few"
>Look down and the entire bag is empty

>Get a pack of skittles/m&ms/starburst
"A few won't hurt"
>Entire packet instantly consumed

>Go to Whataburger
"I'm only eating fast food because I don't have enough time to cook, but I know it's unhealthy so I won't get much"
>"Yes can I get a double triple patty melt, add bacon. Large fries and coke please, as well as a large Oreo milkshake. Thank you"

I'M TIRED OF THE FAT MEME HOW DO I GET SELF-CONTROL AND DISCIPLINE ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO RESIST FOOD REEEEEE

PEANUTBUTTER.

>Look at food label after eating food
>Only 250 calories!
>Look closer
>*per serving (in type 2 white font on a white container)
>servings per container: 20
>I just ate 5000 calories by mistake
WHY THE FUCK DO FOOD COMPANIES DO THIS
I JUST WANT TO EAT HEALTHY AND THEY KEEP TRYING TO HOLD ME BACK

OP
I am obese. I am warning you - DO NOT LET YOUR DAUGHTER WIN!

I am obese because my mother was a coward who caved to my whims. I put my obesity down to 3 incidents from my childhood


1. On my mothers 30th birthday when I was 6 we went to a nice fancy restaurant. I refused everything on the menu and only wanted ice cream. They obliged. Then I threw the ice cream into my mothers pasta dish and made her feed it to me

2. On Christmas when I was 10, I just wanted to eat chocolate from a tub of christmas chocolates. I refused to eat christmas dinner. My grandmother intervened and spent 4 minutes chopping my turkey into the shape of reindeers. I threw my plate onto the floor and said 'THEY FELL OFF THE ROOF'

3. When I was 11 I hid from my mother in Wal Mart and ate 9 packets of Oreo cookies then told security that my mother told me I had to eat them or she would leave without me. She nearly got arrested.

I was NEVER punished for any of this and by the time I was 12 my parents made me what I wanted for dinner and never said no to me when I asked for food, at the store for example. Now I have a BMI of 32. Ironically at my mothers last birthday party and at the last christmas dinner I ate 100% more of the food than anyone else.

>>7715445

just give me the damn burgers