/ck/ - Food & Cooking

So the deceased victims are two burgers of American Cheese descent, both wearing matching ketchup & mustard condiments, both appearing to have had recent tomato & onion implants. Both were found carrying questionably sauteed mushrooms, with indications that the onions were improperly sauteed alongside them in burger grease while the burgers themselves were still frying. Evidence was also recovered substantiating both victims were heavy bacon users.

The report given at the scene suggested the burgers were shaped too thick, and while nominally seasoned and properly seared on the first side, simply were heated incorrectly, slightly overcooking the second side yet not cooking the interior to a true brown and finished texture. The beef used was high-fat, only 73% lean.

The report indicates that while all the ingredients were present, the burgers, specifically Mr. & Mrs "Bacon Mushroom Cheeseburger with Tomato, Onion, Ketchup & Mustard" didn't in fact really taste like anything.

The potency of the onion was lost completely, the ketchup and mustard overwhelmed the bacon leaving only texture, the mushrooms may as well not even been there. The cheese, while completely visible, lent no taste either. Mostly the taste was just a bit of burger char and mustard, and a burst of tomato here and there.

Cause of taste death is now under investigation.