/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19023440

>>18387917

>>10816825
>REAL gummy bugs
What the fuck does this mean??

>>10769651
You monster

>>10740292
How do you know so much about /r9k/, anon?

>>10690284

I am obese and there is 100% truth in the idea that fat people have food everywhere.

Just for the purpose of this thread I went and had a look around. Ignoring the fridge, freezer and cupboards, where most food is stored, I found food in the following places

>Wardrobe
I had several bits of candy in my blazer and shirt pockets and a bag of opened doritos hanging up like a formal shirt

>Sock and underpant draw
I had a few sleeves of oreos hiding underneath my pants haha

>Study
My desk is covered in chips and I had some dip pots sitting balanced on my computer tower to keep them warm

>Car
I have a pile of candy in the back seat that I treat like a child

>Under the bed
I have a bunch of monster themed snacks under my bed. If I wake up in the night I pretend there is a monster under there and eat them like I am eating the monster

>Tarantula Enclosure
I keep a few peeps and stuff in here, he won't eat them and the warm heat mats keep them nice and soft

>Window ledges
I keep lots of chocolate here because the cold winds at night chill them for a morning snack

>Sofa
I keep lollipops under the seat


I am obese because fof this

I am 387lbs as of today, but I was only 300lbs a year ago. I have been superbinging for a while now haha.

The funny thing is that I went Vegan about 5 months ago to try and lose weight and have been GAINING weight since. The problem is that now I spend so long in the store looking for vegan suitable foods that I get tempted to buy non vegan chocolate and cake, and end up buying lots and lots of it, and eating that for most of my food. I have actually not had a single day since I went vegan where I didn't eat meat and dairy, and I even have a giant notepad where I write down the justifications for eating it all.

For example today I ate 5 milk chocolate bars, 100g each. My justification for this is that cocoa powder causes acne, and cows on dairy farms often get painful cysts, so if I encourage mixing milk and cocoa, then cows will get used to it and get less cysts. I have also eaten 4 bacon sandwiches, and I justify this by writing down the names of diseases that can form on pig farms, then pretending I was testing for them.

I am in pain most of the time now. I recently broke my thumb and didn't notice because of the fat, in fact I only found out it was broken because I pressed it into a jar of peanut butter to eat straight from the jar and heard a click.

>Have to get attendant to unlock the machine
>"Sir, why you going to self checkout? There're 3 open registers!"

Oh boy.

Every time I am done with a hot pan or pot, I run lukewarm faucet water over it. I like the steam kek. I have done this my entire life and none of my pans have warped.

>>10248347
Tell me more about this veganese heresy.

>>10245753