/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>20236850
>Tammy finally wakes up and removes her C-PAP mask and gets ready for the chili bowl cook off
>We head over to the football field, Jack is there with his melanin enhanced friends. One of them is giving me dirty looks; I think he's dealing marijuana cigarettes
>I hand my masterpiece to the lovely woman governing this event and she explains that all of the folks present will taste and judge. This will provide fair results as everyone tasting gets a voice (so she tells me).
>Christ bellows into my ears "BLASPHEMY!"
>Why aren't 3 neutral judges allowed at this event? I don't trust the opinion of these homely people with their heretic taste buds. They probably don't even support napalming Palestine.
>I urge Jack Jr and Tammy to vote for what they feel is the best chili, I WILL NOT stoop to the level of telling family and friends to vote for my chili.
>No one has the palate to appreciate freezer aged brisket
>No one here understands the complexity of canned beans and sauce
>This ruse of a contest has been a farce from the start
>I know in my enlarged heart that I am the true winner, and that my chili can bring warring nations together. The love is in the freezer burn.
>Jesus has told me I must infiltrate a high school chili cook off the following week to exact my vengeance via passive aggressive insults to children.
>These people think recipes off the Internet are good? BLASPHEMY!
>Where are the award winners? WHERE ARE THEY?
>I end up leaving extremely disappointed. I await Jesus' command to lead me to my next location for the next highly awaited episode of Jack on the Go.
>Such is the life of a Youtube cooking god

>>7027151
>Charcoal on the outside
>Huge glob of fat on the inside