/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I don't know how some of you guys hold jobs and make money. I'm unemployed right now and doing school, but I could sure as hell not hold down a job or a family. Too goddamn hungover all the time

HEY GUYS. Ex gfs dad died anon here. I've been feeling better lately thanks to you lot, and was thinking about some of my past relationships, and I came to a realization.
I'm working backwards and every girl that's broken up with me has had some horrible shit happen in their life afterwards:
>Case #1: ex gf's dad dies a month and a half after we break up
>Case #2: girl cheats on me. gets a dui (3rd one) and goes to jail for 6 months
>Case #3: girl breaks up with me for another dude. She goes to my university at the time. Dude breaks up with her and asks me to get back with her - I was already with case #2 and she later flunks out in her first year
>Case #4: girl cheats on me (jesus that's happened a lot, I must be really ugly or something). Her friend group found out about it and started inviting me to shit in place of her. She loses all friends and gets fat. I fucked her best friend :^)
Seriously, do I have magic powers or something?