/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11253481

cont

next day

>wake up early, practice
>fine
>dont have shit until 1pm class
>it is a super small class with a world class professor, less than 10 people and we all had to write an essay to get in
>this class is 3 hours long, always take a break at 2:30
>roll into class 5 mins early
>all is good
>somehow, 10 mins after class starts I begin to feel....dread
>begin to sweat
>begin to feel faint
>sweat a lot
>breathing now labored
>actually mfw I am about to die
>raise hand
>"Professor, can we please take our break early"
>"Well I gue--"
>literally run the fuck out of there
>burst into bathroom
>rip shorts off
>time my butt hole to release just as I am sitting down in one fluid motion
>nothing
>just sit there panting
>it begins
>continuous shit
>it burns, it burps, it feels like little salamanders wiggling out of my cornbread
>having trouble catching my breath
>sit there, focused on the pain, for a really long time
>every time I try to wipe there is more
>when I stop sweating I know its over
>stand up and survey my work
>water is fucking red
>there are a hundred black squiggly poops
>like licorice gummy worms in watery tomato soup
>consider taking picture
>do not flush
>do wash hands
>return to class
>entire class (10 people) staring at me
>"...uhh sorry?"
>Professor: "anon, are you ok"
>look at clock
>it is past 3pm

Later learned from nurse friend that the massive dose of antacids I took likely inhibited digestion which made the poops look the way the did