/ck/ - Food & Cooking

True grocery store story. Not girl related but you guys will enjoy.

>be 16, work at local grocery store
>be working the closing shift
>its time to clean the restrooms
>mens restroom is locked, oh well
>electric riding cart is in front of door, i'll give the poor guy some time
>check again in 15 minutes, still locked
>check again in 15 minutes, still locked
>check again in 15 minutes, still locked!!!
>inform manager of my predicament
>manager knocks on restroom door, no answer
>manager bangs on door, no answer
>manager yells that he is going to get the keys, the door is gonna fucking open
>manager fetches the keys and opens the lock
>slowly opens door and announces that he is coming in
>oh god the scene that was behind that door, it haunts me to this day.
>very old man is inside the restroom
>very old man is wearing only an unbuttoned shirt, otherwise naked
>very old man had procured a single cucumber and a single bottle of Italian dressing before driving to the restroom
>very old man had spent the last hour fucking himself in the ass with a cucumber and jerking off with Italian dressing
>oh god, oily dressing is fucking EVERYWHERE
>old man just stares silently, dick in hand and cucumber in ass
>manager fucking loses it
>I mean really loses it
>starts shrieking at the old man, cursing and sweating
>tells man to GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY RESTROOM
>man drops cucumber and dressing on the floor, puts his pants on
>manager gets a plastic grocery bag, insists that the old man puts his cucumber and dressing in the bag
>old man walks out and gets on the electric scooter, grocery bag in hand
>manager and I escort him out of the store
>man gets into his car and leaves with his dressing and cucumber
>I look at the empty electric cart left there sitting in the parking lot
>right in the middle of the seat, there it was. A little puddle of Italian dressing
>I look up at the old man in his car, slowly driving out of the parking lot
>I smile
>Godspeed old chap, godspeed sir.