/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>take trip to NYC with school's honors program
>friends and I have a mutual understanding that we are going to get shitfaced
>pack enough Calico to make things interesting
>evening we arrived, bartender in the hotel nonchalantly told us where to get fake IDs for fiddy bucks
>worth it.jpg
>go to location described, there's nothing there
>roam this particular little section of Manhattan trying every tattoo parlor we see on the off chance the bartender directed us to the wrong one
>they think we're cops because the operation got shut down 2 years prior, says one Jamaican tattooist

>friend assures us that we can get into clubs anyways, they don't care
>never been clubbing before, I'm excited
>so excited that I down most of my calico mixed with a warm pepsi from the 9th floor vending machines
>final expeditionary force is me, douche friend, whore friend, and stupid "we'll be fine" friend
>nobody but us believed "we'll be fine" friend
>who cares there's a 1:1 man to vagina ratio here
>walk 1.5 miles or so shitfaced down the streets of Manhattan towards alleged club scene
>bouncers everywhere
>they're having none of our shit
>finally a bro-tier passerby directs us to the Webster
>never heard of it but apparently it'll let us in

>wait in line out front of this spicy venue
>hear the sick beats from within
>aww man here we go this is it
>get in the lobby
>$40 cover charge
>friends are pulling out their wallets, I am prepared to have ZERO of this bullshit
>turn 360 degrees and march out of the club
>it is now 3am, I'm precariously on the threshold of blacking out
>and alone in NYC with no fucking idea where I am
>or wait yes I do the streets are all fucking numbered
>recall Home Alone 2 where the kid is allegedly lost in New York
>bitch that shits impossible
>march my ass 35 blocks down and 2 over, fists clenched and puffing through my nose like an impotent drunken bull
>god i hate this city