/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>7870955
central sq one still has a sign warning about the pork

I know they are powdered nonsense, but their potatoes and gravy are dank as fukk

Listen up fuckface, because I'm only going to say this 40 or 50 times a day over the next 7 years:

Whip out them stank eggs from your trousers and teabag that hot mess. Once your jingle jangle in-betweeners are nice and lathered up, pull out a handful of monster slim jims from your shame stash in that bottom drawer you keep hidden from your mom. Unwrap them stick nasties and put them in your upper lip like you're the tentacle mouthed terror of the trailer park you're so desperate to leave and head to the kitchen. Unwrap a stick of butter, take off your shirt (if not already topless) and grease up, 'cause you got work to do.

Are you ready for what's next? You gotta want it, lil' tonka, or this might just eat you up.

You are going to go outside, sit in the sun, release that grease, bend over as far as you can, slurp the durp of your gurp with your jimtacles, and suck that shit down like the cheap bourbon you drink for breakfast. You'll find the butter has not only given you a lovely aroma, but also tanned your sickly hide.

Once your grim meal is complete, you will stand reborn and unafraid.