/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>wake up late and start boiling eggs before leaving for work
>water never reaches rolling boil but I pack them up and gtfo before my ass is tardy
>arrive at work and attempt to peel an egg
>it's runny as hell
>fuck
>no bowl or pot anywhere
>find an old coffee maker in a cabinet and have a low iq eureka moment
>put eggs in coffee pot and let the machine fill it with HOT water
>wait 20 minutes and the damn eggs are still barely cooking
>lose patience and go nuclear
>grab the egg I already split the shell to and set it in the microwave
>figure if i only cook it for 20 seconds and the shell is punctured then it shouldn't be an issue
>deed is done and I peel it under cold water
>egg is FINALLY cooked
>bite into it and it explodes into my mouth, sink, surrounding wall, cabinet and countertop surfaces
>egg yolk is piping hot and burning my mouth like a motherfucker
>lap up cold water like a thirsty californian while the scolding heat abates
>clean up, a defeated man
>luckily nobody was around so i didn't become known as the autistic egg guy

>>12012859
>keeping a bomb in your house