/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I'd imagine pretty god awful

My ex's best friend was a waitress at Chili's and the only thing I remember her telling me was that every second she was back in the kitchen it was basically like raw meat in front of lions. Every guy back there was trying to shove her into the walk-in and fuck her

Granted she was pretty hot and had awesome huge tits. My ex convinced her to show them to me a few times. Fuuuuck they were so round and full and had that perfect amount of a little sag. And she had tiny nips too, they were by far the best I've seen in person. My ex was small chested and she knew I love huge racks so I guess out of some twisted love/sympathy she was always trying to convince her to get those things out for me to ogle. One time they were trashed and my ex pulled up her friends bathing suit top and started feeling her up and I lost my shit and almost had a stroke. I think she was actually working on getting her friend drunk enough to let me feel her up, but we broke up. Oh well, what can you do. My current girl is small chested too but she's a tiny bit bi, and she says she really likes looking at big tits, so I'm hoping to parlay that into something.

But yeah she probably got really nice tips even though she was retarded too lol

>>9136856

>living with ex
>she has coupon for free bag of chicken wyngz
>she cooks it up
>tastes like stale doodoo and dog food
>throws it all in the trash
>later that night
>im an alky schizo
>stumble home from the bar after many drinks
>forget to get 7/11 hot dog
>look for food in the apt
>knock over trash can and see wyngz
>sit on floor and eat whole bag of wyngz out of the trash
>girlfriend sees me and starts crying
>i piss myslef

I have another one hold on

Anyone know any semi-fancy, impressive recipes I can make that won't break the bank?

I'm supposed to make dinner for the girl I'm seeing, but due to unexpected expenses, I'm broke-ish right now, and I really want to impress her so I can touch a boob. I'm not worried about how complicated or complex it is, just on the cheaper side. Was thinking maybe a gumbo or pulled pork...

I have a full pantry with spices and such, and all the pots and pans I would need. I've got no proteins, but I've got a few random veggies around.

I learned from Chef John.

http://foodwishes.blogspot.com/2010/03/sloppy-joes-recipe-video.html

I use tomato sauce rather than ketchup and honey in lieu of brown sugar