/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>8084018
>best friend is white american gun nut from redneckland
>his wife is from zhuhai
>i'm from singapore
>she wants to take us all out to zomg most authentic cantonese food in the city ever!!!!
>we go
>tastes exactly the same as every other canto restaurant i've been to with majority canto people eating
I've started to think that to Chinese-Chinese people, the most authentic Chinese food outside of Chinaland is whatever you're not eating.

>>6835865
;_;

>indo members of extended family are coming to visit
>sure they're tired of italian food (they split their lives between italy and malmö) and don't wanna cook indo food for indo people cuz they can just cook it themselves at home
>decide to pull stuff from another branch of the family
>japanese food!
>yay!
>yippie!
>spend seven hours making chicken bone stock for ramen (like pig bone/tonkotsu stock but suitable for those who do not eat pork)
>put colander in place, lined with muslin
>carefully pour delicious, delicious stock into colander, being sure not to spill any of its chickeny goodness anywhere
>realise colander is in the sink and not sat over a second stock pot
>i just absentmindedly poured a third to half of my stock down the drain
>mfw

Probably "tuck in."
I live in Freedumbz and people here have never heard the phrase "tuck in." They say "dig in" and many of them find my speech so charmingly British (I am not a Brit, however).
Really, I could say anything and it wouldn't much matter. I know I'd at least get the housewife market if it's on daytime programming since I've got the tall, dark and handsome thing going for me and "the sexy accent." I'm just the right amount of foreign: exotic but white, speak proper but intelligible English with an exotic foreign accent, use phrases and terms from a foreign variety of English that Americans find charming or quaint and I'm quite /fit/, too.
>so why did the bitch leave me ;_;

One time when I was a child my mother took me to London and we ate at a very classy Indian restaurant, me being the little upstart that I was, asked the waiter for the spiciest/hottest meal on the menu.
When it arrived it came with a full jug of ice water, the waiter had this huge smug smirk on his face.

It was agony, I managed to eat about 1/4 of the meal, spent the rest of the time in the restaurant finishing the jug of water and moaning (as well as sweating profusely) whilst everyone else at the table enjoyed their meal.

The icing on the cake was when my older sister had to carry me back to our hotel from the restaurant because my stomach was burning and I felt like I was going to have explosive diarrhea each time I attempted to walk.

ITT: meals that ruined your day

>making my "special" boxed mac&cheese (guilty pleasure of mine)
>boil water, add dave's insanity sauce, cut smoked sausage into coins, add to water with pasta
>pour correct amount of WHOLE milk (fuck that 2% bullshit)
>go to grab butter
>I'M OUT OF FUCKING BUTTER
>fuck it, find backup margarine in the freezer
>complete meal as directed

>mfw it tastes like plastic
>mfw i pick out the sausage and dump the rest

FUCK YOU MARGARINE

>>4206934
>>4206946
>>4206949
>>4206967

>>4079365

>>4005979

>be into hot spiced food whole my life
>go to prague
>drive around on a metro train
>see a thai restaurant right next to a station
>go in
>see they have a spicy meal that includes sauce made of freshly crushed naga jolokia
>if you order it, you have to sign a paper that release them of responsibility if something happens to you while eating it
>don't have the cojones to order it
>mfw