/ck/ - Food & Cooking

This fucking bullshit was a welfare kid's first wakeup call to the ugly lie that would be a staple of his existence. Most of the time your mom bought home those shitty generic cereals with two-color boxes that tasted like packing foam because those were the only things that WIC allowed her too. Then one morning at a sleep-over at your "rich" friend's, you dig into your first bowl of Apple Jacks and in that first bite it's like the world transitions to color. After that, every bowl Toasted Oats or Kix is like a slap in the face to the monochrome reality that has been forced upon you, and much of your freetime is focused on getting mom to spring for something that a kid with actual tastebuds might enjoy without having to dump a cup of sugar into the powdered milk. Then one day this box comes out of her shopping bag and for a moment the clouds part and you swear you heard hear harps sounding in the distance. Look at all of those colors, and are those neon smiley faces? No way this is that healthy crap. And those big red letters of the silly name KABOOM suggest an inevitable amped-up sugar blast. And sure that's a pretty jacked up looking clown, but you're just so happy to have cereal represented by ANY character that you ignore the "vitamin & iron" red flag mere inches away. You hastily tear into the box and quickly pour a bowl and just slurp directly from the bowl, not even bothering with the sugar (surely this won't need any such suplimentation) nor slowing down for a spoon before your mom can smack it out of your hand. And you can barely get the first gulp down before realizing the horrible lie you've just been subjected to: it's the same tasteless packing foam you've been eating your entire life, reshaped and obscured in food dye. The rest of it gets flushed down the toilet, along with the part of you that was still a child, and you resign yourself to running out the rest of the clock on your black & white life.