/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Fuck scones. Years ago some British idiot mixed up their biscuits with the recipe for SAND and somehow convinced the world that they'd invented a posh concrete flavored treat. Have you ever looked at a pile of bricks and thought "Mmm, I'll take one of those with jam please"? Try a scone! Want to know what the Great Depression tasted like? Eat a scone!! Ever wonder what it would feel like to be buried alive? Choke down on a scone!!! Scones are so terrible that if you managed to make one that was in any way good, flaky, fluffy, or delicious, it would at that point cease to be a scone and become a biscuit. They are by definition stiff, desiccated, pastry corpses devoid of all joy or flavor. The words "Ooh" and "scones" have never been paired together. And if you're sitting there thinking,
>"But OP, I happen to like scones, my grandma makes very tasty ones."
Well screw you and your wannabe Mary Berry granny. You should be sconed to death. Yes, SCONED to death. That's where the rest of normal society gathers together in the spirit of righteous indignation to pelt you with scones which you must eat after they strike your body until you die from bludgeoning or dehydration.