/ck/ - Food & Cooking

> be me
> head chef
> slow night
> gordon ramsay walks in
> select our finest breed of hostess and seat him in the best spot available
> get his drink situated
> "i'm ready to order"
> ohshitnigger.jpg
> he orders something rather simple
> he says "i want your cooks to experiment a bit, i want something I've never had before"
> challenge accepted you english cunt
> i know how ramsay likes his steaks, i make him a great one
> quickly marinade a flat iron steak with garlic and the piss from his hostess
> slap that fucker on a pan
> chef ramsay loves rare steaks
> burn it to be sure it's cooked
> cum on the steak as a special ingredient
> i serve chef ramsay his food
> im stark naked, covered only by my apron
> he looks baffled but tries it anyway
> instantly vomits
> this is my only chance
> toss apron aside
> start dry humping his leg to establish dominance while he's focused on barfing
> i am the superior chef now
> he calls the cops
> pull a glock out of my ass
> double tap to the back of his head
> i get my chefs knife from the kitchen
> carefully carve his face off and wear it, body was thrown in the freezer
> cops finally come in
> they bust through the door
> "EVERYONE GET THE FUCK ON THE FLOOR"
> everybody walk the dinosaur