/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17643643
Chef John

based

>>17400410
fuck off adam

>>17400089
uhh, based department?

>>17381165
DONT IMPERSONATE ME YOU FUCKING MOUTHBREATHER
I WILL
END YOU
>>17380915
Where do you keep your milk ? In a carton? How quaint.

Imagine running into Faguesa on the street out of nowhere. He's out and about with his wife, making some inane comment about the insufficient humidity of the water at the local restaurant establishment in an impotent attempt to appear sophisticated. You just walk up to him, tap him on the shoulder, and then, never breaking eye contact, tell him he is a fucking joke of a chef.

He'd just stand there for a few seconds, flabbergasted and off-balance, and then try to formulate a response. He fails. As he stutters some incomprehensible pseudo-intellectualism and "Acthually" in order to save face at the sudden attack, it soon becomes utterly clear he is completely incapable of confrontation; He's staring down at the pavement, wringing his wrists and whispering. His responses to criticism is normally beyond the safety of a computer desk. Now he's naked and defenseless.

Whenever he tries to speak, you simply laugh loudly in a mocking tone, egging him on and never giving him any room. You ask how a man who claims to be formally educated could be such a intellectual dead end or how the Mcchicken you just had on the corner is better than anything he will ever make.

After a while, you've finally prodded him enough. He makes a shrieking feminine shout and strikes you with the most ineffective punch imaginable; His balled-up fist twists midswing and he ends up striking you with his wrist. As it connects to your mighty 5 f 1 body (Easily towering over Faguesas feeble frame) the bones in his hand shatter in sickening crack. He falls to the ground, weeping, defeated both verbally and physically. You decide to bring it all home, so you take out the protective paper from your Mcchicken and smear it all over his face, grease side up. A pathetic mockery of a "man", his horse wife turns to you, biting her lips and unable to control herself at the sight of a real man. She strips down to her underwear right there and then, and pleads at your knees to be yours.

i can control you

>>17268429
Why I prep the bull and not the wife

>>17262696
I hate that faggot so much it's unreal
Ethan's based though

>>17240388
he's not a patronizing douchebag like Fagusea, that's good enough for me

>>17228545
I live in Miami (cosmopolitan shithole). I never hear of these knockoff faggot potatos.

>>17220798
>implying
>2012
>ishiggydiggy

>>17150385
>>17150487
>>17150551
Fuck off adam. There’s only the king, and his jester here

What are chef John’s best recipes? I make his beef and Guinness stew twice a year atleast. Fucking ace

>>17137227

>>17120444
I never did

If I can just pick one, his Goulash. Shit is phenomenal, but why limit yourself to one when he has so many great recipes?

Chicken Paprikash, Tikka Masala, Sweet and sour pork, Breakfast bars, Teriyaki burgers - the man is a veritable treasure trove of dependable staples

>>16995387
based and freshly ground pilled

I can only pray Raguesa and his paid pajeet shills get relegated to the cayenne mines where they belong