/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I am an anorexic male. I am 6'0 and 123lbs but I was 103lbs about a year ago, although I haven't gained weight in at least 6 months, and my health is getting worse again

I cannot ejaculate more than about 1/2 teaspoon, and my heart rate is about 60bpm. Last year, I couldn't cum at all and my heart was 50bpm, but 6 months ago I could ejaculate 2 tbsp and my heart rate was 70bpm and I was the happiest I have been in years. I even ate my own semen because there was so much, I know that sounds creepy but I remember the date, 23rd December 2016 that I felt strong enough to eat my own cum despite the potentially high calories, despite the risks of gaining weight.

Honestly I want to wither away and die in a hole. The biggest joke is that when, years ago, I started losing weight, it was because I had a skinny girl I liked at school and wanted to go with her to a Halloween party, as a pair of chopsticks. I was too fat to be a chopstick at first. But as I lost weight I loved it and now I fear any kind of fat taking weekly measurements of every part of myself.