/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19767149
>>19767527
aight
>well respected 25 year employee dies suddenly of a heart attack
>work leadership decides to do a get together
>rents out local pizza parlor party room for a pizza party funeral
>lots of people come, mostly employees but also friends and family
>I go with a close friend/coworker that recently went through another coworker/friend death with me
>as we arrive the resident office autismo shows up and starts orbiting us
>he is an extremely weird, insufferable person who thinks he's the greatest but is a chore to be around and will follow me because I am nice to him to avoid a mass shooting (more on that later)
>he sits down across from us and immediately gets a plate with at least 6 slices of pizza
>fills every available spot on plate with ranch, probably close to a pint if not more
>mood is somber but he's just going to town on this pizza and blabbering on about work with his mouth full
>there is pizza grease and marinara and ranch everywhere, all over his hands and face and dripped on his shirt and on the table
>little bits of ranch and pizza are floating around in his glass of water
>I am about to throw up
>he then starts drinking multiple IPAs and getting drunk
>starts fucking around with his jacket trying to get us to see something, finally ask him what he's doing
>he pulls a fucking gun out of his jacket to show us, it's not even a nice gun but now it has ranch on it
>tell him to put the gun away since we're at a funeral and people are staring
>then he drove 40 miles home drunk
He did a lot of other embarrassing shit too, wandered around talking to coworkers and family members about inappropriate things mostly. People humor him like he's a 7 year old. He also shits his pants a lot but that's another story.

>>19752056
I like to sidle up to people that are standing in front of what I want to buy, grab it and say "wow it all looks so good huh" or some other stupid bullshit, boomers love it and everyone else is uncomfortable

I'm only legitimately annoyed by retards that stand in the middle of the aisle with their cart staring at their phone or a bunch of people standing in an aisle talking, oblivious to everyone trying to get around them. Fats in their mobility scooters too but I don't want to get close to them and risk smelling them so I just come back to the aisle they're in later.

>>19668678
She had a cute face but at that point (we were in college but I knew her from high school) she was trying to be cool and rebellious by pretending to be a smoker and cutting her hair short and going to sex toy parties (?) now that she was away from her parents, stuff like that coupled with her general stupidity made her really unattractive to me.
Also one time while taking her laundry out of the dryer since she always left it in there and noticed a serious shit stain in a pair of her panties, it was unappealing to say the least.
>>19668411
It was hard to imagine what her mind was doing. She'd add more dishes to the stack every day but never say "hmm maybe I should wash these so it's less work" and instead would apparently think "where did these dishes come from? guess I'll put more on top of them, there is no other choice" every single day.
>>19668113
The chicken incident was like week 1 of her moving in, shortly after which the water was shut off because she forgot to put it in her name, one of two utilities entrusted to her. Once we started asking her to clean up after herself we basically never saw her.

>>18784609
based

mama delivers

confess your sins
i work at the horizon milk factory

every day before work i jack off in the handicapped bathroom and nut into a small vial

there's a vat we keep the pasteurized vanilla milk in

i pour my cum into it every single day

>17 years of this

if you drink the small horizon vanilla milks and live in california, you have drank my cum


every time i walk into a starbucks i wait around for someone to buy one and have a hearty chuckle

>>18598842
no