/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>after work on a Tuesday
>go to Blind Pig Pub in Austin solo
>have a few drinks
>stay and have some more drinks
>eventually get black out drunk
>come to my senses while urinating
>im back outside of my office
>no idea what time it is
>walk back to my car
>car is gone
>somebody stole it
>don’t have my phone to call police
>don’t have keys or work badge
>only have wallet
>blood stains on my pants
>walk a mile to iHop
>4AM
>order food
>call 311 on waitresses phone
>3 hour wait time
>hang up
>walk back to work before open
>see a lady I don’t know well
>approach and tell her I lost my badge
>looks scared and doesn’t let me in
>reports incident to security
>thought I was a homeless person
>security guy let’s me in
>im still drunk
>tell him someone stole my car
>he watches security tapes
>tells me I drove off in my car
>find car parked a street over
>find my keys in bushes 30ft away
>decides not to escalate the incident
>coworkers say I look horrible
>tell me I should go home
>stay at work anyway
>call center receives call from my mom
>says she got called by Austin police
>they have my cell phone
>go to station after work
>severely hung over
>cop says he found it on a sidewalk
>asks me how I lost it
>said idk
>parents probably ashamed
>don’t ask much about it
>go back to Blind Pig 3 days later
>with some friends this time
>everyone recognizes me
>everyone looks tense
>bar tenders pretend not to hear me
>unable to order a drink
>no clue what all happened