/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16587581
>So eeeeer, I found this video on Youtube, right?
>>Oh god, hes been on the internt again...
>And there is this puffy-faced blone bloke init, right?
>>If he turns out to be a chimp I swear to god we are never doing this again.
>Apparently some chef fella from the telly, doin burgas and that.
>>Does he have big hairy arms, Karl?
>No, listen. He starts shoutin "ON" an "PIPIN HOT" at the food, right. Starts goin mental, knockin over pots and pans -
>>Karl, you must know thats rubbish. No real chef would be so clumsy and shout random words at food.
>So anyway. Then he starts throwin loads of salt at everythin, and 'e did it like nine times... which annoyed me. Like... do you need that much salt, know what I mean?
>>WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! At no point would a chef season their food nine times! Were you watching a mental patient?
>So he put a bunch of salt at everything, right. And said that Stevie Wonda is comin over for lunch.
>>STEVIE WONDER?! I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START!
>>LET HIM FINISH!!!
>Right, so he finishes the burga. And turns out... raw in the middle

I sort of gave a go. Suzanne walked in one day and I had sausages in the toaster. She went mental at me. D'ya know how sausages make a load of mess when you put them in a pan? It was when I first got a flat and I wanted everywhere to be clean all the time

>Microwave popcorn

Just make them on the stove, it's not that fucking hard and way cheaper. You can even throw in some sugar right before the popping starts and boom, caramel popcorn.

>So eeeeer, I found this video on Youtube, right?
>>Oh god, hes been on the internt again...
>And there is this puffy-faced blone bloke init, right?
>>If he turns out to be a chimp I swear to god we are never doing this again.
>Apparently some chef fella from the telly, doin burgas and that.
>>Does he have big hairy arms, Karl?
>No, listen. He starts shoutin "ON" an "PIPIN HOT" at the food, right. Srtarts goin mental, knockin over pots and pans -
>>Karl, you must know thats rubbish. No legitimate chef would be so clumsy and shout random words at food.
>So anyway. Then he starts throwin loads of salt at everythin, and 'e did it like nine times... which annoyed me. Like... do you need that much salt, know what I mean?
>>WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! At no point would a chef season their food nine times! Were you watching a mental patient?
>So he put a bunch of salt at everything, right. And said that Stevie Wonda is comin over for lunch.
>>STEVIE WONDER?! I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START!
>>LET HIM FINISH!!!
>Right, so he finishes the burga. And turns out... raw in the middle

>So eeeeer, I found this video on Youtube, right?
>>Oh god, hes been on the internt again...
>And there is this puffy-faced blone bloke init, right?
>>If he turns out to be a chimp I swear to god we are never doing this again.
>Apparently some chef fella from the telly, doin burgas and that.
>>Does he have big hairy arms, Karl?
>No, listen. He starts shoutin "ON" an "PIPIN HOT" at the food, right. Srtarts goin mental, knockin over pots and pans -
>>Karl, you must know thats rubbish. No legitimate chef would be so clumsy and shout random words at food.
>So anyway. Then he starts throwin loads of salt at everythin, and 'e did it like nine times... which annoyed me. Like... do you need that much salt, know what I mean?
>>WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! At no point would a chef season their food nine times! Were you watching a mental patient?
>So he put a bunch of salt at everything, right. And said that Stevie Wonda is comin over for lunch.
>>STEVIE WONDER?! I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START!
>>LET HIM FINISH!!!
>Right, so he finishes the burga. And turns out... raw in the middle

>>11764034
thats how you get dick cheese on your pizza senpai

I could eat a knob at night

>>9223864
man I wish i could find a picture of it. There was this one amazing sauce I found that was essentially cooked down fresh onions with a ton of spices and garlic in a vinegar base. I think it was just called onion sauce or something like that. Maybe the reason I can't find it anymore is because it was a short lived local thing in the mid-atlantic of america. Does anyone know what Iam talking about?

>>9224158
tips for what specifically? Being a vegetarian or seitan/fake meats?