/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9536241
Fuck your shit, I have vodka, weed, lorazepam, a 50inch monitor for movies, a cosy bed, curtains closed, and a motherfucking toblerone.
You heard.

I have perfected alcoholism. My phone responds to voice commands so I can post here without moving, I've a trackball in bed under my right hand, controlling a pc via a big screen, I've got two XL straws centimetres from my face - leading from a bottle of booze and another containing water, plus a wide-aperture, 33L bucket to piss in. All of this can be operated by moving one finger on the trackball, moving my lips towards the fluids and aiming my dick approximately at the bucket. I don't really eat so don't need to shit. I have mastered this art.

>>9368222
Enjoyable sex. Have a mid-life crisis, spend ex wife expenditure cash on a Ferrari and empty your balls in some qt's

>>9255777
>the did this once before
>long-distance, working overseas oneitis demanded video footage of it, twice, after realising I'd relapsed after she left
>reluctantly pour, film, send, sulk
>lightbulb appears above head
>remove u-bend from beneath sink, st least 300ml of vodka mixed with sink sludge
>no longer sober

>second time, remove u-bend, place mixing bowl underneath raw drain cavity
>get drunk af after sending good boy point vid
>rewarded with extra blowjobs on her return
Feelsslyman.