/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Post your insane bathroom stories that are worse than what happened to me today.

>be me
>about to go home on the train but abruptly have to pee
>hate using public restrooms but I'd rather a toilet than a seat
>spot a food court nearby and say outloud to friend "this is gonna be gross but oh well"
>spot the restroom sign
>proceed to walk down a maze-like hallway
>multiple kitchens right next to the bathrooms
>open door with men sign
>enter dark room with another door straight ahead
>older man walks out clearly terrified but I think nothing of it
>as soon as I turn the handle
>"PUT A LITTLE MORE GRIP ON IT YEEEEEAAHHH"
>old man in sunglasses is tripping the fuck out
>I rush to the urinal and watch him grind up against the door
>he begins to grunt and mumble things as if he's fucking someone for like 2 min
>I decide fuck it I have to use the stall
>pull down pants and unleash the beast
>phew.jpg
>all of a sudden hear something coming from the stall next to me
>"OOHHH YEAH OH MY GOD YES"
>THERE IS ANOTHER PERSON WATCHING PORN AND PRESUMABLY MASTURBATING IN THE STALL
>punch the piss outta my dick
>wash my hands
>don't even tie my sweatpants
>get the fuck outta there