/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>14586196
>buddfuggers

>>8574360
kek

>>7978365

>>7887717
I never knew this existed, and now have plans for the rest of the afternoon

>>7790311
>YOOOOHOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HO...HOODEEDOODEEDOOOO
>The alarm wakes me up. I wipe the sleep out of my eyes
>The sweet purr of Tammy's C-PAP machine is comforting, it beckons me back to sleep
>No, I must wake up, today is the day
>I better check on Jack Jr...
>Jack's not in his room...it suddenly hits me that he spent the night at one of his football friends' house
>I've been worrying lately, he's been hanging out with colored folk, they might try to peer pressure him into trying the devil's lettuce
>I'm worrying about nothing, I've raised Jack to be a good man. Never to hit a woman!
>Shower and shave, using my trusty kit from Harry's Razors
>I decide to wear a shirt quoting 1 Corinthians 13:4-0, Jesus will respect my dedication
>Mosey through my hall of hats, decide on a classic little number featuring the character Dedpole, he's a popular guy among the kids
>I must prepare for the chili cook off, this is my calling. I gave up DJ'ing for this.
>Head to the local Kroger to gather my bountiful canned ingredients. Nobody else understands that THIS IS WHAT I DO, if you're going to criticize me on canned items, you're in the wrong place friend.
>The judges will never see my secret ingredient coming
>I've been saving a year old brisket coated in coffee grounds for this purpose, my Christ has commanded it
>Pour every bit of 26 minutes into assembling my chili masterpiece, no one else at the cook off will have dedicated their day as I have
>Tammy finally wakes up and removes her C-PAP mask and gets ready for the chili bowl cook off

>>7785240

>>7731445
>it's the magic bullet's fault the egg isn't cooked

Yep, he actually fucking said that

>>7183271
I have but a few more if you're willing to trade, friend.

>>7163746

>>7163075
I like the "fuck these loud kids I'm going to make myself something nice" vibe

>>7120021
>never getting to be ja/ck/s powerbottom

>>6972753
>>6973256

Here to confirm that Ja/ck/ is in fact the King of Retards and Cu/ck/s

>>6865063
Cu/ck/ed by the King

>>6850313
>yorkshire pudding
>"They came out BEAUTIFUL. They came out perfect!"
>comments disabled
>apology video

My man's got swag for dayzzzz that's what happened