/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Well, I used to take pasta out of the pot with my bare hands, and pour salt all over it, then eat it. That is, until I almost suffocated from it.
>be me a few days ago
>mom just cooked pasta a few hours ago but i'm hungry again
>go to kitchen and pull a handful of spaghetti out of the pot
>douse said handful of pasta in salt from the shaker
>cram generous helping of sodium and carbs into my face
>realize it's too much for me to swallow
>try to swallow really hard, like how I've gotten away with this in the past
>it doesn't budge
>run out of breath
>FUCK
>try to cough pasta up
>still doesn't budge
>waddle out into the living room where my mom is
>motion to her that I'm choking
>cup my hands and slap my gut several times in a half-assed attempt to do a heimlich maneuver
>mom tries to do it to me too, but she's too weak
>my vision is starting to go funny
>this is fucking it, i'm gonna go like those people who choked on hotdogs and suffocated from peanut allergies
>vision starts to wobble
>suddenly
>GLARRRGHHHH
>COFFFFFF
>HACK
>HAAAAAACK
>spaghetti flies all over the tile of the dining room, and the carpet
>check to see if I'm still breathing
>excuse myself for making a scene
>dog starts eating chucked up pasta
>mfw i almost got put in a hole by a handful of mom's spaghetti